Paul Ryburn's Journal

It’s Black Friday!  Hopefully you’re not hopping in the SUV to head to Target or Best Buy or the mall for the 5 AM Black Friday sale – that kind of thing is SO Cordova.  To help you locate gifts for Downtowners, I’ve decided to put together a Black Friday shopping guide.

First of all, check out Amazon.com’s Black Friday page for a lot more Black Friday deals than you’ll find at any store or mall – plus no sales tax, and many of the items are eligible for free Super Saver shipping.

Now let’s talk about gifts specifically for Downtowners… a flask is always a great gift idea, to sneak concealed booze into special occasions.  Here are links to a few flasks that Downtowners would love:

• A pink Girls Nite Out flask (pictured at left)
• A flask hidden inside “The Good Book” (a play on the Bible.  Any book containing booze is a VERY good book)
• An Anne Taintor “Must be 5 o’clock somewhere” flask
• An ultra slim hip flask
• A skull and crossbones flask
• Another skull and crossbones flask with bonus 1 oz. second flask that can be carried on a keychain
• A Superman flask
• A Confederate flag flask (hmmm maybe that one’s more appropriate for a Cordova or North Mississippi gift buying guide, but whatever).
• Then there’s the cell phone flask that my friend Terry recently got for his 50th birthday.  Hey, I just realized, Terry’s old enough to join the Red Hat Society now!
• Hundreds more flasks here.

A cooler to keep beer, wine and liquor cold is another thoughtful gift for a Downtowner.

• A floating cooler (pictured at left) is a great way to keep your beer cold in the summer at the swimming pool
• If you know someone who likes to throw big parties, you can give them a huge 100-quart wheeled cooler
• The 36-can soft cooler is another great idea
• A cooler backpack is a great way to carry booze to outdoor events such as the annual Downtown Wine Race in April
• Or how about a remote-controlled cooler that will fetch your beer for you
• Or give the ultimate cooler gift, a motorized cooler scooter.
• Thousands more coolers here.

Other thoughtful gifts for Downtowners include:

• Hangover cures
• A book called The Imbible which bills itself as “drinking games for times you’ll never remember with friends you’ll never forget”
• Modern Drunkard, the book version of the magazine
• Or how about a book on the 50 beer brands that shaped the 20th century
• Or a book on how to beat the rap if you get a DUI (that’s actually a present for Cordovans, since Downtowners don’t drive to bars.  Also, side note to Susie, is the author a relative of yours?)
• The Professional Bartenders’ Handbook not only teaches how to mix drinks, but also the “tricks of the trade” of being a bartender
• Then there’s a Low Carb Bartenders’ Handbook for people like my health guru AL
• This 9-piece cocktail set is a great gift for the Downtowner who throws parties
• As is an electric martini maker.
• As is a wine opener
• This beer boot is a great way to enjoy beer as they do at Oktoberfest
• Or maybe the recipient would like a double-walled beer stein
• Or maybe a Simpsons pint glass that’s also a drinking game.

For Downtowners who are Memphis Tigers fans, why not give the gift of time?  You can choose from about 100 Memphis Tigers watches here. Or you can buy Memphis Tigers jewelry, choosing from a selection of earrings, necklaces, bracelets, pendants, and charms.  If you’re more into pro teams, you can shop for Memphis Grizzlies watches and jewelery, or you can commemorate the Tennessee Titans’ amazing season with watches and jewelry.  Are you a fan of some other team?  Find what you’re looking for here:  College watches… college jewelry… NFL watches… NFL jewelry… NBA watches… NBA jewelry… NHL watches… NHL jewelry… Major League Baseball watches… Major League baseball jewelry

Do you know someone who consistently loses at pool, over and over again, to the point of embarrassment?  I do.  His name’s Pete.  But anyway, a pool training ball is a great gift to help that person improve their game.  It will teach them where to shoot for different types of English and bank shots.  Or you may want to get a paper arm trainer that they can lay on the table itself to help direct their shots.  If you want to go high-tech, you can get them an electronic pool training aid, or a laser-sighted cue stick to help them line up shots.  Maybe a pool training video is what they need.  Or maybe you can confuse them with a crazy 8 ball that doesn’t behave like a normal ball when hit.

When you give a hot girl a tube top, you’re not only giving a gift to her, but to men in general.  The Tube Top Boutique has hundreds of tube tops in all shapes and sizes, and has recently added tube tops being sold on eBay for an even larger selection.

The Skank-o-ween costume store has hundreds of skanky outfits.  These would make great gifts to your girlfriend if you enjoy seeing her dressed up as a slut in the privacy of your own home.  Better yet, dress her up and bring her out in public so we can have a look too!  Slutty costumes: They’re not just for Halloween.

Restaurant.com sells $25 gift certificates to popular restaurants for only $10. They’re a way to give your family and friends great dining experiences while saving 60%.  Big Foot Lodge, Blue Fin, Blue Plate Cafe, Cafe 61, Circa, Green Beetle, Ground Zero, McEwen’s, Onix, Papa Pia’s, The Pier, Safari, Sauces, Silky O’Sullivan’s, Stella, Superior Bar on Beale, and TGI Friday’s are among the Downtown restaurants that are part of the program; there are dozens more elsewhere in Memphis. The Dinner of the Month on Restaurant.com lets you give the gift of dining out once a month for 3, 6, or 12 months.

More thoughtful gift ideas:

• A pocket-sized digital camera with super zoom
• An electric blanket is a thoughtful present for people who tend to be cold all the time
• If you know a coffee lover, how about a single serve coffee maker?
• If you know someone who’s too lazy to vacuum, get them a robotic vacuum cleaner.  Also a great gift for anyone who has a cat
• Outdoor turkey fryers are popular this time of year
• Noise canceling headphones make thoughtful gifts for people who crave peace and quiet
• A pocket breathalyzer might be a good gift if you know someone who doesn’t use good judgment about driving after they drink
• Last but not least, check out some of the great deals at The Doo Doo Store.  They have the book Walter the Farting Dog for only 71 cents, and you can get What Bird Did That? A Driver’s Guide to Common Birds of North America for only a penny.  They also have a collection of unique toilet seats that would make interesting gifts.

Hope this list helps you get started… happy shopping, and a happy holiday season!

This article reports that President George W. Bush is nervous about being kicked out of his home in less than two months’ time.  It contains exclusive photos of the Presidential bedroom.  It sounds like Bush is falling apart as his second term draws to a close.

This morning, an ad on my Gmail introduced me to one of the most brilliant products ever: Baconnaise.  The makers of this bacon-flavored mayonnaise believe that “everything should taste like bacon” and recommend its use on sandwiches, salads, dips, sauces, chicken, fish, and fries.  It’s vegetarian-friendly, and is available in “regular” and “lite.”  Their site has Baconnaise recipes, and says it’s available at Kroger.  I’ll have to look for it next time I go shopping.

One important addition to the “What’s open Thanksgiving Day” list: Jack’s Food Store, open until 7 in case you need to do last-minute shopping.

The “Chef’s Special” in the Commercial Appeal today features Patrick Reilly, chef at the Majestic Grille.  The Majestic is a regular Sunday brunch spot and one of my favorite places to send out-of-towners who are looking for a good meal.  As I’ve said many times, I think Patrick’s filet is possibly the best I’ve ever had.

For those of you who want to start Christmas shopping but don’t want to endure early morning Black Friday crowds, I’ve created a Black Friday guide to help you shop for gifts for Downtowners.  It will auto-post at 12:01 AM tomorrow, so it will be available even before the stores open.  The very first link in the guide will give you more options than you’d have at Target, and the remainder will be full of suggestions for gifts that Downtowners would like.

I’ve been getting e-mail about this year’s Stumbling Santa pub crawl.  I’m not involved in the organization of the event… I just participated last year and posted pics.  However, I do know the basics, so here they are:

• Meet at Earnestine & Hazel’s on Saturday, December 6 at 7 PM.
• The first important thing to know is to bring a toy for a child’s Christmas.  It’s a toy drive for Porter-Leath.
• The second important thing to know is that you’re asked to dress up.  It’s a spectacle seeing 250 Santas walking around Downtown from bar to bar.  If you don’t want to be a Santa, you can dress as Mrs. Claus, an elf, a reindeer, a Christmas tree, or other holiday costume.  You can get these at Party City for as cheap as 30 bucks.
• Eventually you’ll leave E&H and walk through Beale Street, the Peabody, and several bars.  I think the Saucer and Raiford’s are on the list.

I have a wedding to attend that night, so I won’t be able to make it to Stumbling Santa this year.  Like I say, I’m not involved in the event, but if you have questions I can pass them on to my friend Billy who can probably answer them.

Counting the minutes until 5:00 when the Saucer opens… I’ll be at the E&H party later tonight.

The owner of Calhoun’s Sports Bar on G.E. Patterson e-mailed me to let me know that the bar will open early tomorrow.  He’s a big Arkansas fan and they play LSU at 1:30.  Last year’s game was one of the best of the 2007 season, with Arkansas knocking off then-#1 LSU in three overtimes.  Come on down to Calhoun’s and catch the game before the parade.  $1.50 PBR!

Time for the weekly look at the Memphis Flyer for items of interest to Downtowners.  But first, an announcement:  I’ve completed my overhaul of the Tube Top Boutique, adding eBay auctions (which means, thousands of new items) in addition to the Amazon items that were already there, and I updated the color scheme and layout a little.  Tube tops make great Christmas gifts, so check out the updated site!

All right, here we go through the Flyer:

p. 25:  Artist Dwayne Butcher, AKA The Art Butcher, and two other MFA candidates at Memphis College of Art will present their thesis works in the college’s “On the Street” gallery Friday, November 28.  “Be sure to come out if you’re tired of your relatives and want to see an interesting show,” he says.  There’s a pic of him in the Flyer with a lot of Dos Equis Lager bottles.  I knew there was a reason I liked Dwayne.

Also p. 25:  Former presidential candidate and Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee will be at Davis-Kidd Monday night, December 1, at 8 PM to sign copies of his book Do the Right Thing: Inside the Movement That’s Bringing Common Sense Back to America. I couldn’t vote for Huckabee for president because my values are very different from his, but there’s no question he did an outstanding job as governor of Arkansas.  His book is about how to get the Republican Party back on track.

p. 32:  Looks like Jillian’s Thursday night trivia specials have changed.  They’re now advertising $3.50 Fat Tire, Newcastle, and Blue Moon drafts, and $3 specials.  Hey, they have a website now!

p. 35:  Now here’s an event that sounds very cool.  On Tuesday, December 2 at Westy’s, there will be a reunion for the old North End/Jefferson Square clubs.  Starting at 6 PM, there will be pictures of the early Memphis rock scene, plus performances by Richard Cushing and FreeWorld, Peter Hyrka and Victims of Circumstance, Klaudia & Rico, and Rebekah.

p. 37:  There’s a good article on the new Sole restaurant in the Westin, which is in the old Daily Grill space and is being operated by the people who run Interim.  Says 3/4 of the menu will feature seafood.

Also p. 37:  There’s an article about On the River Seafood & More on Main just north of Union.  On Thursday, December 4 they’ll have a grand opening, with specials on import and domestic beers and the introduction of a new menu item, Hoppin’ Hot Frog Legs.  I’ve eaten there twice already, and the food has been excellent and a good value for the money both times.

Also on p. 37:  This isn’t a Downtown event, but worth mentioning:  There will be a benefit at Neil’s in Midtown (McLean at Madison) to raise money for Molly’s La Casita bartender James Ragghianti.  7-midnight Tuesday December 2, $5 cover, Jim Dandy, Rusty Lemon and other musical guests.  I don’t know James but it’s good to support our friends in the service industry who take such good care of us when we go out.  Many of them don’t have medical insurance and sometimes get into situations where they need our help.

p. 44:  A “help wanted” for the Blue Monkey is almost unreadable due to the blue background.  They’re looking for experienced front-of-house and back-of-house people for both the Downtown and Midtown locations.  Apply in person between 2-4 PM weekdays.  Encore, Quetzal, and Jillian’s are also looking for help.

p. 49:  Hey, the Flyer remembered to include Free Will Astrology this week!  Good job guys!

Back page:  The National Civil Rights Museum is now offering half-off admission for the remainder of 2008.  You can call yourself a Memphian without having visited Graceland, but the NCRM is a required stop for true Memphians.  If you haven’t been yet, now is the time to go and save some money.

Heading up to the Saucer in about an hour for some $2.75 Sunset Wheat.  I’ll be at Bardog by 6, then Big Foot later, and possibly Blues City even later.

All right, I stopped by Big Foot… the Turkey Tip-Off is today, not tomorrow as it says on Facebook and the CCC “Livin’ It Up” newsletter.  I confirmed with the manager that it’s $2 Super Cold Coors Light all day.

And now for the big news… Bardog Tavern is starting a Pint Night next Tuesday.  From 7 PM until close at 3 AM, all pints will be $3.  This is in addition to their normal happy hour with a dollar off most beers, bringing them into Pint Night range at 5.  I’m putting the Saucer on notice right now – put Turbo Dog on Fire Sale again on Tuesday, and I’m going to skip trivia altogether and go straight to Bardog.  Great to see the Bardog giving its patrons lots of drinking value.

Updated list of what’s open tomorrow:

• Westy’s
• Wang’s
• Flying Saucer at 5
• Bardog Tavern at 5
• Calhoun’s at 5
• Jillian’s at 5
• Green Beetle at 8:30
• Red Rooster at 9

More to come later today, because there’s lots of good stuff in this week’s Flyer… I gotta get some work done on the tube top store first though.

Amidst all the holiday festivities on South Main Friday, there’s also the opportunity to hear a blues great.  Henry Butler, a New Orleans blues piano legend who is an 8-time “Best Blues Instrumentalist – Piano” award nominee, will play The Warehouse on G.E. Patterson at 8 PM.  Doors open at 7:30.  Butler has been blinded by glaucoma since birth, but still has managed to become not only an award-winning pianist, but an award-winning photographer as well.  Advance tickets can be purchased here for $25.  Tickets will be $30 at the door.  There’s also a $50 VIP ticket that includes a 1-year Blues Foundation membership.

When the president of the Blues Foundation e-mailed me about this event, the first sentence was “Paul I owe you a beer if you’ll mention this.”  Now this is a guy who understands how to interact with bloggers.

Interesting article on Wired’s site:  Give Thanks?  Science supersized your turkey dinner. It discusses how turkeys have been engineered to get bigger and bigger over the years.  In 1929, the average turkey weighed 13 pounds; now the average turkey weighs 29 pounds.  A lot of it has to do with the corn that both we and the turkeys eat, and Wired’s article discusses changes in corn over the past several centuries as well.  I wonder what my health guru AL will think about this.

AL e-mailed me yesterday to ask how much I paid for the individual lemon pies and Sno Balls I bought at the Hostess thrift store.  I replied that they were 80 cents apiece.  She then said, “You could have bought a pound of frozen spinach or broccoli and gotten 3 meals off of it.”  I can’t believe she equates the experience of eating broccoli with that of eating a Sno Ball.  I have some weird friends.  She claims she’s going to live to 150 because of her diet.

Here’s a link to a video that will remind Downtowners why we love being down here so much, and will help people in the other parts of the city understand why we’re such big fans of our neighborhood.  Go ahead, watch it, it’s only 2 minutes, 56 seconds, and you know you’re not doing anything at work today anyway.

Restaurant.com is running a 70% off promotion through the end of the month.  Enter promo code THANKS at checkout to get the discount.  That means you can get $25 face-value restaurant gift certificates, normally sold for $10, for only $3.  You can also save 70% on their Dinner of the Month Club memberships, which make great Christmas gifts.

Speaking of Christmas… I’m working on a Downtown Memphis holiday buyer’s guide post that I hope to have done in time for Black Friday.

Stephanie just about has the December BFF of the Month locked up.  Last night she brought me passes to the Holiday Parade’s VIP party.  Free food and beer for 6 hours… that’s a good way to get to BFF status.

All right time to get started… I actually have some work to do today.  I’m in the process of upgrading the Tube Top Boutique to add eBay listings.  That’ll get a bunch more inventory on the site, which goes through some lean months in the winter when it’s not traditionally tube top season (although I think they should be worn all year).  I also need to get the aforementioned holiday shopping guide done.  I said I was going to eat lunch at Big Foot, but I’m not very hungry right now thanks to some chili cheese tamales that came home with me from Huey’s last night.  The party starts later today… I’ll be at Bardog and Big Foot later, and possibly the Saucer and Blues City.

The Hostess store didn’t have HoHos!  I got a pack of 8 Streusel Cakes, a box of Hostess toaster pastries, three lemon pies and a 2-pack of Sno Balls, for those of you who are interested.

Okay.  My plans for the long Thanksgiving weekend are shaping up.  Here they are, to make it easy for any stalkers I have out there:

Wednesday: I’ll start at Big Foot at 11 AM for lunch and a 34 oz. Super Cold Coors Light.  It’s still unclear, after looking at the sign on the door and their Facebook page, whether the Turkey Tip-Off is Wednesday or Thursday, but as I mentioned earlier, at worst I’ll pay 4 bucks for the beer, which still isn’t bad.  At 6 PM I’ll go to Bardog for their Thanksgiving Eve party – Buffalo Trace specials, and a hot female bartender in a bra and chaps.  Then I’ll move on for round 2 at Big Foot, or possibly Turkey of the Year glass night at the Saucer.  Later I may hit Blues City for the Dempseys and for former BFF Michelle’s birthday.

Thursday: Saucer, 5 PM.  Yes I know about the thing at Calhoun’s, but the Saucer outranks Calhoun’s.  At some point after 8 I’ll head south for the charity Thanksgiving party at Earnestine & Hazel’s.  Debating whether to head there right at 8 and get in on the jello shots, or wait until 10 or 11.  Guess it’ll depend on how good the Saucer is.  Hopefully they’ll reward my loyalty by putting something good on Fire Sale.

Friday: Downtown Holiday Parade on South Main at 5 PM.  Trolley Tour afterward from 6 to 9.  There will probably be a stop at Calhoun’s for a PBR somewhere in there.  Plans are open-ended after 9.  At some point I’ll have to walk back to the Downtown core… hmmm Raiford’s is on the way home.  That’s a possibility.

Saturday: I’ll be at the flip cup tournament at the Red Rooster around 1 PM.  Saturday night is undetermined as of yet.

Sunday: As good as my intentions are to make it to brunch, I’ll probably sleep too late and have to catch up with the gang at the Saucer like I usually do.

As always, plans are subject to change.  Almost time to head to the Saucer for trivia.  I guess I’ll drink Foster’s Oil Cans tonight since disgusting Turbo Dog is the Fire Sale.  Maybe the beer for bonus points at trivia will be an Australian beer.

It’s time to announce the launch of my four newest websites:

These four new stores are, like most of my other sites, storefronts that organize Amazon.com merchandise so you can easily find what you’re looking for. When you buy through any of my store links, I get between 4% and 8.5% commission, depending on how many items all my stores combined sell during the month (for the current month it’s looking like I’ll get either 7% or 7.5%).  Amazon handles your secure checkout and takes care of the shipping.  I get a notification that an item was bought and the amount, but I never see your name, credit card number, or any other identifying info about you.

Whew… I’m getting real sick of building watch and jewelry sites.  These new ones bring the total to 11 in that particular niche.  I’m tired of the same thing over and over, but “do what works” is the mantra, and College Logo Watches and College Logo Jewelry, my first two sites in that niche, have proven track records.

Interesting thing I learned while I was researching other niches: Amazon has over 20,000 “sexual wellness” items. Meaning, contraceptives, sex toys, vibrators, edible underwear, etc.  I actually considered doing some stores in that niche, but some of the products they offer are kinda… well, gross.  There’s a huge market for them though… a lot of people would rather order that kind of stuff online than be seen in an adult store buying it.  I wish there was a way to build the stores without having to look at the images while I build the stores.

All right, now I’m finally going to go on that run to the Hostess store.  HoHos, here I come!

Last night I received a tip that the Rumba Room is now doing a lunch buffet, so I decided to check it out today.  It was outstanding.  It cost me $6.75 and had lasagna with a Venezuelan white sauce, Cuban black beans and rice, a Colombian stew with hunks of beef, chicken fajitas, arepas, and fried plantains.  If you work anywhere near the trolley line, this buffet is worth a ride for lunch.  The Rumba Room is on South Main between Pontotoc and Vance, next door to Pearl’s Oyster House.  You can go to their website for more info about their menu and salsa dancing.

Speaking of the trolley line, the Blue Suede Brigade handed me some information on my way back from my Mountain Dew run to Walgreens.  They will have 25 cent trolley rides Wednesday through Friday of this week.

There will be some alterations in the trolley line on Friday, November 28 due to the holiday parade.  The trolley will run as normal until 3 PM.  The Riverfront line will shut down completely from 3 PM to 7 PM.  The Main Street line will run from Auction to Madison only from 3 to 7 PM.  The Madison line will maintain regular operations, which means you’ll never see the damn thing and will eventually give up and walk.  A MATA shuttle will run between Peabody Place and Talbot between 3 PM and 7 PM.

I’m trying to get a clarification on Big Foot Lodge’s Turkey Tip-Off.  The sign on their front door says it will be tomorrow, November 26.  However, the Facebook listing for the event says it will be Thanksgiving Day, November 27.  In any event, I’ll probably show up there tomorrow at 11 AM for lunch and a Super Cold Coors Light.  Worst case scenario, I’ll have to pay $4 for 34 ounces of beer rather than $2.  Wait, now that I think about it, worst case scenario is Meghan behind the bar, regardless of beer price, but I think she has tomorrow off.

Starting on December 8, Ghost River Brewery, the brewing arm of Boscos, will offer brewery tours every Saturday at 1 PM.  You’ll be able to see the operation and learn how water from the Memphis Sands Aquifer is turned into beer.  The tour will be free but reservations are required.  Call 901-278-0087 x203 or e-mail info@ghostriverbrewing.com for reservations.

I’m excited about the start of 2009 because my health guru AL is designing a meal plan for me.  She says she’s going to come up with ways for me to live healthier, without me having to give up Mountain Dew or beer.  I’m looking forward to it.

I’m also looking forward to the start of 2009 because that’s the projected opening date of the Downtown Dunkin’ Donuts.  Mmmm donuts.