Paul Ryburn's Journal

(PROFANITY/VULGARITY ALERT:  This is a drunk post.  If R-rated and above topics offend you, skip this post.)

Pictured above is the “Maple Leaf,” one of the 34 oz. mixed drinks on Big Foot Lodge’s drink menu.  According to the menu, it consists of Forty Creek Canadian whiskey, spiced rum, Southern Comfort, banana liqueur, cranberry juice and a splash of Sierra Mist.  Bartender Terry tells me that sloe gin is a secret ingredient.

The reason I got to have one of these tonight is that the Saucer SUCKED.  We were in a 4-way tie for first place in trivia.  For the tie-breaker (total million $ taken in at the box office for Shrek 3) we came in second and picked up a $25 gift certificate, bringing our total to $225 for the next party.  By the time trivia was over the place was dead and the 9 people who still go to Grizzlies games were not going to revive the place, even if they all came in after the team’s latest loss.  I tabbed out at 9:20, one of my earliest Tuesday night exits ever.

So I moved on to Big Foot.  My main reason for picking that bar was not so much the huge-ass drinks, but the blackened meatball Caesar salad that my BFF told me about the night before.  (Okay.  I’m going to admit something here.  Between you, me and the lamp post, my BFF is actually a pretty awesome girl.  But I will never tell her that to her face, as it would ruin the dynamic of our relationship.  If anyone asks me publicly and I think my response might get back to her, I’ll say that she’s a douche bag and she fucking sucks.)  It comes with a Heinz 57 Caesar dressing and pita bread on the side.  Yummy!

While eating the salad and drinking my 34 oz. drink, I watched #14 Vandy take down #1 Tennessee.  Gosh, that #1 ranking didn’t last long, did it? Bruce Pearl looked like a complete fucking tool and he’s lucky he didn’t get ejected from the game.  Watching that orange tie flap around made me think Bruce’s unspoken message was “this tie is 50 times as long as my penis.”  Hope you enjoyed being #1 while it lasted, Tennessee!  NUH-UH GIRL?  FRANK?  YOU HAVE COMMENTS???  Didn’t think so.  CARMEL?  Haven’t forgotten you’re a UT alum.  Not even if you put on an orange tube top would I root for the Vols.

Also new on Big Foot’s menu:  Cheese logs, which are basically fried mozzarella sticks, but with a strawberry jalapeno dipping sauce.  They also have a new “Canadian” burger, with Canadian bacon, cheddar cheese, grilled onions, and BBQ sauce.

Let’s get the beer report out of the way before I move on to actual important announcements.  Oh by the way, the Saucer forgot to scan ANOTHER one of my beers.  That makes four.

Previous total:  $353.00

Beers 67, 68 and 69 (but 63, 64 and 65 according to the Saucer):
Hornsby Crisp Cider $4.00
Samuel Smith Lager $10.00
James Boag’s Premium Lager $5.50
Tip:  $19.50 x ~30% = $6.00
Total $25.50

Grand total:  $378.50

Damn this is getting expensive.  The Samuel Smith beer functioned as the bonus beer for trivia (drink a British beer, get 5 free points).

Shaq was seen eating at Sam’s Hamburgers at Main and Madison today around 1 PM.

The Center City Commission is in the process of hiring security to patrol Downtown April-June, now that the patrols have been funded.  Beyond the training provided by their company, they will receive 24 hours of additional training.  Handling-Panhandling co-moderator Mike King and I have been asked to teach an hour of that training  We’ve been asked to talk about panhandlers’ methods of operation and residents’ reaction to constantly being panhandled.  Needless to say we are delighted to be asked.  I plan on giving the security personnel an earful about some of our favorite bums down here.  Maybe we can finally get some of the worst of the worst off the streets.

I want to take a moment to tell you how awesome the people who run the Red Rooster are.  For every Tiger game there’s a big debate among my group about where to have the watch party.  Up until now, I’ve been pro-Saucer, and people assume it’s because of the waitresses.  Actually it’s that it’s a big bar in the core of Downtown, and you never know who will stop in… Downtowners, people from other parts of the city, tourists.  As opposed to watching at someone’s house where it’s the same people I see every day, or Calhoun’s where it’s just us and people who live in South Main and South Bluffs.  So I saw one of the Rooster owners last night and asked if he would be open for the Wednesday game against Tulsa, because a bunch of us wanted to come up and watch.

“I hadn’t planned to open,” he said.  “But there’s a Tiger game?  And you guys want to come?  I tell you what, I’m going to open the place just for you.  We’ll be open at 5.”  And he gave me his personal e-mail and cell number.  I contacted him today and reserved an area for 20, letting him pick the spot since I didn’t notice the locations of the TVs when in there last weekend.  I have it on good authority that the game has been moved back to 7, so here’s the revised agenda:  Itta Bena at 5:45, change of venue to the Rooster at 6:45.  Just in case I don’t make it to the Saucer afterward, I’m going to go there on my lunch break and knock out my 3 plate beers (I still have the nonalcoholic beers to do, no I don’t plan on getting wasted and then going back to work).  Rapscallions/extended family/random hot girls are invited to join us in our section.  Although he said he would open “just for us” I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if the general public showed up and watched the game and bought food and beer, so come on down, should be plenty of room.

All right… I had some other stuff to blog about but I’ll save it for tomorrow.  I’m getting tired.

So I got to Pint Nite last night and saw John D sitting at the bar.  So I figured I’d sit at the bar with John D and start a tab there.  But before I made it to the bar I was intercepted by the waitress who calls me her “BFF.”  “WHAT DO YOU WANT,” she said.  “GIVE ME YOUR UFO CARD.  I’M GOING TO PICK OUT THE 3 BEERS YOU’RE DRINKING FOR YOUR PLATE TONIGHT.”  So I gave her my card and she walked to the computer (I checked out her ass as she walked over), and she came back with receipts for Black Velvet, Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat, and Rogue Nut Brown Nectar which she said were 3 of her favorite beers.  I refused Sunset Wheat, as that sometimes shows up on Fire Sale and I want to save it for then.  So she went back to the computer (I checked out her ass again) and came back with a receipt for Hummingbird Water, which is one of the most girly beers there, but hey it has to be knocked off the list sometime.  So for the beer report we have

Previous total:  $342.50

Beers 64, 65, and 66 (but 61, 62 and 63 according to the Saucer):
Hummingbird Water $2.50
Black Velvet $2.50
Rogue Nut Brown Nectar $2.50
Tip:  $1 x 3 beers = $3.00
Total:  $10.50

Grand total:  $353.00

Those were not the only 3 beers I had, though.  I managed to follow up my plate beers with 9 Dos Equis Lagers, for a total of 12 pints, and I could’ve easily broken my record of 14 if not for this stupid “job” thing I’m expected to go to on Tuesday mornings.  My BFF continued to be her sweet self throughout the course of the evening, making comments like, “SO THE WAITRESS YOU ASKED TO WORK YOUR PLATE PARTY GOT PROMOTED TO BARTENDER.  WHO’S GOING TO BE YOUR WAITRESS NOW.”  Actually, she was in an unusually good mood last night.  She only flipped me off once and punched me once in the entire time I was there.  Someone bought one of my beers (thanks), so I had to pay for 11.  My BFF got mad at me for only tipping $11.  “YOU’RE NOT TIPPING FOR THE BEER THAT WAS BOUGHT FOR YOU?  COME ON.  CHANGE THAT 1 TO A 2 ON YOUR DEBIT CARD RECEIPT.  DO IT.”

Y’know who I should fix her up with?  Nappy haired, extremely loud and aggressive “CAN I AKS YOU A QUESTION.  U GOT 50 CENT” bum who works the streets Downtown.  Know the one I’m talking about?  He makes a beeline up to you and gets right in your face to panhandle you.  They would be perfect for each other; they have the exact same personality.  I should set them up on a blind date.  If he’s not in jail right now.

Now we transition from the “crap no one cares about” section of the post to the “useful information” section of the post.  I’m not quite done with the Saucer though.  Beginning next week, the Pint Nite price increases to $2.75.  In usual Saucer fashion, they announced the increase as “beginning March 1” even though March 1 is a Saturday and therefore not a Pint Nite.

Calhoun’s Sports Bar & Grill on G.E. Patterson Avenue wants everyone to know that they will be showing the Tennessee-Vandy game tonight at 8 on their 5 flat-panel TVs.  Go Vandy!  Let’s root for the Vols to lose so we can get our #1 ranking back.  Calhoun’s will also carry both Tiger games this week.

The Leadership Academy has deemed tomorrow, Wednesday, February 27, to be Tiger Blue day.  They are asking everyone to wear blue in support of the soon-to-be national champion Memphis Tigers.  They’re also asking you to e-mail all your friends and make sure they know about Tiger Blue day.

The Peabody and Jack Daniel’s will host a Southern dinner and whiskey tasting Thursday, March 27, with Lynne Tolley, the great-grandniece of Mr. Daniel himself.  Tasting will be at 6 PM in Capriccio Grill, and will consist of a 3-course tasting of JD whiskeys, followed by a 4-course meal with recipes from the “Cooking with Jack” cookbook.  Cost is $85, call 529-4183 for reservations.  This is one of a series of Jack Daniel’s events that will take place this year to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the Peabody Ducks, a concept that was allegedly invented when someone had a little too much Jack Daniel’s.

My BFF told me she had a new item at Big Foot Lodge which was really good, a meatball/Caesar salad thing in a pita.  I just checked their website and don’t see it on the menu yet, but I did notice that they’re re-done their site.  Check it out here.

First United Methodist (you know, the church that burned down a couple of years ago) is hosting a trivia night this Friday to benefit the FirstWorks scholarship fund.  It will be at Union Avenue Methodist at Union and Cooper, $20 entrance fee per person, with teams of 6 competing.  Entry fee gets you an all-you-can-eat dinner, the trivia game and door prizes.  Doors open at 6:30, game begins at 7.  Theme is Western, but that applies only to the decor, food and attire, not the trivia questions, which will come from a variety of categories.  Questions can be directed to Kelly at kellym210@bellsouth.net or 359-7667.

Speaking of trivia nights, it’s time for the Rapscallions to kick some more ass at trivia tonight.  Since having our last party, we’ve scored two first-place finishes, and since Rapscallion Party VII will also be my plate party, that means we’re off and running with $200 already, with approximately two months to go.  Not a bad start.  Pete the Trivia Guy will be back this week.

Time to head to work.

I just took a walk to the ATM a few minutes ago, and as I walked down Madison I noticed that the restaurant at 143 Madison, just east of Second, is undergoing renovations.  That’s the former King of Wings location that closed about a year ago.  A sign in the window says the place will open soon as “Java, Wings and Waffles.”

What’s up with all the waffle places Downtown?  First Miss Polly’s on Beale opened, then Onix on South Main, then this place.  Do Downtowners really like waffles that much?

Anthony Bourdain and his show “No Reservations” will visit ROMANIA in an all-new episode tonight, Monday, February 25 at 9 PM CST on the Travel Channel. Romania has a lot to offer… the food, the history, the culture. Also, the girls there are really hot.

Thanks to my former bartender Josh for calling and passing along that information.

Time to post some pics from this weekend.

From Friday night:  Here’s a pic of the Nuh-Uh Girl eating.

 

The Red Rooster has a TV where you can text whatever you want and have it show up on the TV screen.  As you can see, the Nuh-Uh Girl and the Nuh-Uh Sister were in the house.  I also texted “Paul loves Romanian girls” to the screen.

 

D’oh!  Allison done growed an extra head!

 

Frank (wearing the wrong colors, you’ll notice) worries about the outcome of Saturday night’s game.

 

A Tiger fan attempts to reconcile the blue and the orange.

 

Here’s a pic of the Nuh-Uh Girl eating at Saturday’s watch party.  Note that she is wearing the wrong colors.

 

Thank goodness one member of the Nuh-Uh Family had the sense to wear appropriate colors to Saturday’s watch party.

 

Sunday:  My BFF shows me how much she loves me.  This pic may pop up yet again in a different format.

 

Here’s a pic of the guy who was outside panhandling all day Sunday.

 

Pete and Clay salute you!  P.S. Ask Pete who kicked his ass in pool

And now it’s time for the beer report.

Previous total:  $326.50

Beers 61, 62, and 63 (but 58, 59 and 60 according to the Saucer):
Beck’s bottle $4.00
Bavaria bottle $3.75
Bohemia bottle $4.25
Tip:  $12.00 x ~30% = $4.00
Total:  $16.00

Grand total:  $342.50

Did you know that Bohemia is a Mexican beer?  Yeah me neither.  I was surprised when I ordered a beer I thought was from Eastern Europe and it came out with a lime.  If I made my own beer I’d name it “Romania.”

Home early from Sunday Fun Day.  I’m going to do a load of laundry, may go back out later on.  The Oscars are on, but I never watch movies so who cares.

Not much to report today, so this one won’t be terribly interesting.

I did bum patrols for much of the afternoon yesterday, but stopped in the Red Rooster to have a beer with the gang.  Everyone really seems to like that place and I have a feeling it will turn into a regular hangout.  I looked at the menu, and thought to myself, wow, the nachos are a little expensive.  But then someone ordered them and Mount Nachos came out!  Enough for two people to split unless you’re really hungry.  Man those things looked good.  I’ll have to try them myself to verify, but the Rooster may have a shot at taking my personal award for Best Nachos Downtown away from Huey’s.

Got to the Saucer about 5:30, and although the place was ridiculously packed, I managed to get a seat at one of the tables where I had a perfect view of the HDTV next to the dart boards.  Most of the gang met up between 6 and 6:30 and everyone had a great time, although some of us weren’t too happy with Frank and the Nuh-Uh Girl for wearing Volunteer orange.  The Tigers lost, but does it really matter?  We’re still a lock for a #1 seed in the NCAA Tournament, as long as we don’t lose any of our joke-of-a-conference games for the remainder of the season.

Speaking of dart boards… the Saucer is getting two new dart boards today.  They’ve finally taken our advice and stopped buying flimsy crap boards that wear out quickly.  This time they bought $95 dart boards that are guaranteed to last for a year.  Interest in darts seems to be picking up, and it will be good to have some quality boards to play on.

Time for the beer report.

Previous total:  $291.50

Beers 58, 59, and 60 (but 54, 56, and 57 according to the Saucer):
Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA $7.00
Tommy Knocker Butthead $5.00
North Coast Brother Thelonious Belgian Style Ale $14.00
Tip:  $26.00 x ~ 30% = $9.00
Total $35.00

Grand total:  $326.50

Well, I guess they can’t all be 10-dollar nights.  That Brother Thelonious beer was a monster – 25.4 ounces, 9.4% alcohol.  It kept me occupied for three-fourths of the game.

Today is week 2 for brunch at the Majestic, followed by the weekly installment of Paul Whoops Pete’s Ass at Pool.

It’s also Beer Pong Sunday at Hoop’s Bar.  Here’s a pic I took Friday night of the beer pong table:

Time to get it started.  Have a good Sunday everyone.

Ah. Life is good. Woke up at 7:45. Thought, “oh no, I’m late for work” then remembered it’s Saturday. Rolled over, slept til 9. Got up, put clothes on, walked to Blue Plate, ordered two sausage biscuits to go, walked to Jack’s, bought Mountain Dew, came back, sausage biscuits were ready. Eating them now as I type.

I got to check out the new club Downtown, The Red Rooster, last night. I’d had a few beers with one of the owners over the past couple months, and he told me that if I could bring a group of 10 or more, he’d let us in without paying cover. So I assembled everyone at Hoop’s Bar at 9 (something of a selfish move, as I wanted at least one PBR can over the course of the evening) and then we headed over to the Rooster at 10.

I liked the place. It felt like the kind of club you find Downtown in a big city. They had a band playing, and during breaks they played music – GOOD music. A club Downtown that doesn’t play hip-hop – FINALLY! They were playing rock – I’ll throw out AC/DC’s “Back in Black” as representative of what I heard. You wouldn’t think that would work in a club, but it totally did and people were dancing. Some people were concerned that the Rooster would be a country bar, but I did not hear one country song in the entire two hours I was there. Staff was friendly. You have to high-five the bartenders before you can order.

The big unknown at the Rooster is the variable they can’t control, who the regular crowd will turn out to be. I hope it doesn’t become a redneck bar. I don’t think it will, as it’s too far removed from Mississippi and Frayser. I really liked the place and plan on going back in a week or two.

This isn’t a Downtown event but I’m going to mention it anyway… the Brooks Museum is doing a Hangar One Vodka tasting Friday, March 7 at 7 PM. Ansley Cole, co-founder and owner of Hangar One, will be on hand. $75 cover gets you five pours of Hangar One’s vodkas, a sample of their premium brandy, and a dinner buffet by chef Wally Joe. I mention this because I’m a huge fan of Hangar One vodkas. Hangar One lime vodka + cranberry + Sprite = a very good drink indeed.

Memphis was successful in its quest to get a Startup Weekend here. Great event for entrepreneurs. It will take place May 30-June 1. This link will get you to a place where you can purchase a ticket for the weekend and find out other info. Event will be held at Mercury Labs, and they’re capping the registration so don’t wait too long to get your ticket if you want to go.

Now, it’s time to ask for your help with another vote. Colgate is donating a children’s playroom to a hospital, and is letting the public vote for which hospital. There’s a local movement to build up votes for Baptist Memorial in Memphis. Please take a minute to go here and help our city win.

A few good links I found yesterday:

Business.gov – the government’s site full of information on how to start and operate a small business.

The Encyclopedia of Television – I think the name says it all.

Commercial Appeal article listing the times acts perform at the Folk Alliance Music Showcase tonight.

Speaking of the Commercial Appeal, there’s an article in it today about the CCC’s vote to approve Downtown security patrols to curb panhandling. Handling-Panhandling forum co-moderator Mike King is quoted.

The beer report for yesterday is going to be a little bit complicated. The Saucer gives its UFO members prizes when they hit 50, 100, 150, and 200 beers. It’s a free beer for 50, a free big beer for 100, a free hat for 150, and a free Frisbee for 200. So I have to decide if the free stuff should be subtracted from the total cost of the plate. My opinion is that the free beer for 50 and the free biggy for 100 should be subtracted; I’d be ordering a beer anyway, so those are legitimate offsets of costs. On the other hand, the hat and Frisbee are items I probably would not choose to buy, so those won’t be subtracted.

Also, on my way home from the Rooster I stopped in the Saucer for a beer. They were charging cover at the time, and because I’m a UFO member I didn’t have to pay. So that $3 gets subtracted from the plate cost.

Previous total: $281.50

Beers 55, 56, and 57 (but 52, 53, and 54 according to the Saucer):
Blue Velvet $5.00
Xingu bottle $4.25
Warsteiner Dunkel bottle $4.00
Tip $13.25 x ~30% = $4.00
Free beer – Dos Equis Special Lager $-4.25
Cover I didn’t have to pay $-3.00
Total: $10.00

Grand total: $291.50

Plans for today: Wander around and talk to people from 11 to 6, game watch party at the Saucer from 6 to 10. Yes, I know a few people decided to do something different at the very last minute, and that’s cool, but the official Rapscallion extended family game watch party remains at the Saucer. Darts, beer, 3 HDTVs in the main room, hot waitresses in miniskirts.

So it should have been, “CCC votes to fund security patrol,” not find.  Damn I was sober when I typed that too.

Official Team Rapscallion game watch party is at the Flying Saucer, beginning at 6 PM.

Today I attended the Center City Commission monthly board meeting, for which one of the agenda items was to vote on funding for a 3-month private security patrol to deter panhandling. As I entered the building, TV stations were interviewing people affiliated with the Mid-South Peace and Justice Center and members of the homeless community who were protesting. As the meeting started, the protestors came inside, as is their right to do at a public meeting.

Community members on both sides of the issue were given the opportunity to voice their opinions. Jacob Flowers, head of the MSPJC, expressed his opposition to the security patrol due to concerns that area homeless would be harassed. Then Mike King, co-founder of the Handling-Panhandling forum, shared his experiences and frustrations as a Downtown resident who is panhandled aggressively on a near daily basis. After many questions from CCC board members, the vote was taken and the funding for the security patrol was approved.

Some notes I took at the meeting:

– The pilot program will run from April 1 to June 30. After that, the data that has been gathered will be studied to determine if security patrols would be helpful on a long-term basis to curb aggressive panhandling.

– The cost of the 3-month program will be $53,340. That was not the lowest bid, but the bid was given to security firm CDA because they are 100% minority-owned and because they provide 2 to 3 times as much training to their security people as does Brownard, who submitted the lowest bid.

– In addition to the 30+ hours of training provided by CDA, the Shelby County Sheriff’s Department will provide 24 hours of additional training.

– The recommendation made by the CCC’s safety committee is that security be unarmed. The cost quoted above is for unarmed security people, and would be substantially higher if they were armed. “Armed” means carrying a firearm. The security people are licensed to carry batons, pepper spray, and tasers, and the committee is studying whether it would be appropriate for them to carry any of those. (My personal feeling, not expressed in the meeting, is NO.)

– The money to fund the security patrol does not come from taxpayer dollars. Rather, it comes from the CCC budget, assessed from Downtown businesses. If the patrol proves successful and the decision is made to continue beyond the 3-month pilot, the CCC may consider pursuing private funding.

– Security company is required to have liability insurance in the amount of $1 million per incident, $5 million aggregate.

– There will be 2 security shifts per day, with 2 security people working each, from 8 AM to 9 PM Sunday-Thursday and 8 AM to 11 PM Friday-Saturday.

– During the pilot, security will focus on the Main Street Mall between Adams and Beale. (Although, I intend to have a talk with the CCC about this; south of Monroe, panhandling is a much bigger problem on Second than Main.)

– The intent is for security to act as a deterrent more than a means of enforcement. Similar programs have been operated in other cities (Sundance Square in Fort Worth was mentioned) and generally, the mere presence of security was enough to shoo panhandlers from the area. It was stressed that these will be security personnel, not officers.

– A story was told of a reporter who went undercover last week and panhandled in Court Square. He was approached by a panhandler who told him, “Hey, you’re in my territory.” The undercover reporter got to talking to the panhandler, and he revealed that he lives in the Exchange Building and receives a monthly disability check from the government. He panhandles to supplement his income.

So it looks like the patrols will start April 1. Although I was on the opposite side of the issue than the MSPJC, I do understand their concerns and hope to open a productive dialogue with Mr. Flowers (who I just approved for membership on the Handling-Panhandling list). I will keep an eye on the situation, and if I witness harassment of the homeless by the security patrols, you better believe it’s gonna be reported on this blog. Hopefully, though, they’ll deliver as promised and rid Downtown of some of its most aggressive, obnoxious panhandlers, improving the quality of life for all the rest of us Downtown, homeless included.