Driving to the Overton Square crawfish fest tomorrow? Be careful

The Overton Square crawfish fest, put on by Bayou Bar and Grill, is tomorrow (Saturday, April 14) from noon to 6. It’s held in the parking lot between Trimble and Monroe, just west of Cooper.

For those of you driving there – BE CAREFUL. Last year the Metro DUI cops were stalking the area, just waiting to pounce on people who got in their cars after a few beers and drove. I recommend parking on side streets a couple of blocks removed from the festival – either north of Madison or south of Union. Then, when you leave, take back roads until you hit a major north-south road (McLean or East Parkway), blend into traffic and you should be okay.

With the weather forecast looking pretty lousy tomorrow (high of 60 and rainy last I checked), I’m probably going to skip Overton Square this year and wait for Downtown’s Rajun Cajun fest a week from Sunday. If you go to tomorrow’s crawfish fest, have fun and stay safe.

Oh did I forget to mention who won trivia Tuesday night? Let me take care of that

I’ve had so much to say this week that I forgot to mention which team won Trivia Bowl Tuesday night. That team would be the dominant team at the Saucer over the past two years, often imitated, never duplicated, feared by the competition and loved by the waitresses, the one and only RAPSCALLIONS.

I wrote Tuesday morning that the Rapscallions intended to open a big can of whoop-ass, and that’s exactly what we did. It was one of our best examples of teamwork ever, and with perfect second and third rounds we coasted to victory. Our first-place gift certificate brings our total stash to $135.

I do want to give a tip of the hat to the plucky young upstart team known as the Mormons for Gay Polygamy, who finished second. They put up a valiant effort, losing by only three points. I expect them to remain strong for some time to come, with lots of second-place finishes and occasionally even coming in first. If these guys started going to the Cordova Saucer for trivia night, they could probably build the same kind of dynasty that the Rapscallions have at the Downtown location.

As it stands though, the Mormons will probably remain where they are and cement their reputation as “Downtown’s OTHER trivia team.” And there’s no shame in that, not when your competition is the Rapscallions – just as Kmart should feel no shame to be second behind Macy’s, just as Jack Pirtle’s Fried Chicken should feel no shame in being second to Gus’s, just as Krystal should feel no shame in being second to Huey’s.

Rumor has it that the Mormons, rattled by this week’s loss, will be changing their team name to Imus and the Nappy-Headed Hos.

The Rapscallions plan to make April a clean sweep of first-place finishes, and we’re only two wins away. Can we keep the streak alive? Tune in Tuesday to find out.

Will 2007 be the year I join the "condo club"?

Several of my friends have bought really nice condos the past six months. Lately people have been asking me, “Paul, are YOU going to buy this year? There are some great deals out there. Will this be YOUR year to buy a condo?”

My answer is: Probably not.

Lately I’ve been kicking around this condo-related idea in my head, and I’ve told a few people. Some of them think it’s a really smart idea, and others think I’m crazy.

Here it is: I’m thinking about not buying a condo at all, but rather renting for, say, 10 more years. During that time I’ll pile up money in the bank, and then when I’m ready I’ll skip the mortgage altogether and pay cash for a condo.

It probably won’t surprise you to learn that the people who think that’s a stupid idea are in the real estate and mortgage industries. “Paul, you always want to buy real estate with O.P.M.,” they tell me. “Other People’s Money. That way you can invest your own money in the meantime and make a higher rate of return. Plus, if you wait 10 years you’ll be missing out on appreciation in property value. And, you’ll be missing out on the ability to deduct the interest on your mortgage from your taxes.”

I understand what they’re saying, and there’s a lot of validity to it. And for investment real estate, I agree with them on the “O.P.M.” principle. However, in my mind the rules are different for one’s primary residence – in that case I believe the rule to follow is, “do what feels right.” For me personally, knowing my unique psychological makeup, my likes and dislikes – paying cash for a condo is what feels right.

The thing is, if I were to buy Downtown, by the time you add it all up – principal, interest, property taxes, association fees, and insurance – I’d be looking at a $1500 monthly payment AT LEAST. Now, with my current job and my current income, there’s no question that I could afford that. The problem I have with it is, I’d be committing myself to make that payment every month for the next thirty years.

I’ve heard that employers like employees who are “mortgaged in” because they’re a lot less likely to leave. They can’t – they’re stuck. Even if they consider it, the fear of “OH MY GOD I’LL LOSE MY HOME” will kick in. I don’t like the idea of being “mortgaged in.” I mean, I like my job at the City Schools (obviously, since I just agreed to go permanent) but I don’t like the idea of committing to ANY 40-hour-a-week, 52-weeks-a-year job for the next thirty years.

At some point I’d like to go independent and start my own consulting business. That’ll be a lot harder to do with a big mortgage payment hanging over my head. And what if I decide I want to take a few months off, maybe travel to cities I haven’t seen yet (Manhattan, San Francisco, Seattle), or go overseas and spend some time with the beautiful women of Eastern Europe? What if I want to return to teaching, a more fulfilling but less lucrative career? Not saying I’ll necessarily ever DO those things but I want to at least have them as OPTIONS. I’m too much of a free spirit.

And I want to always have the option of moving into a $400-a-month apartment out by the U of M and living dirt cheap. Again, not saying I’ll ever DO it, but I want the OPTION of it. Can’t do that if I’m mortgaged in. (Well, I could, but I’d have to go through the whole rigamarole of selling… whereas, as a renter I could just move.)

So, for the forseeable future I’ll remain a renter. I’m not going to stick to my no-mortgage concept to the point of stubbornness though – if the right property came along, and I fell in love with it as a living space AND it was an incredible deal, then I’d bite the bullet and borrow money to pay for it. But it would have to be an AWESOME opportunity that’s just too good to pass up.

Heh… I bet a lot of mortgage lenders are HATING me as they read this, worried that I’m going to start an idea virus among my readers.

Whoa! What happened to Thaddeus?

I went to check Thaddeus Matthews this morning to get the latest political gossip, and his blog wasn’t there! It was a generic landing page for a new GoDaddy domain registration. What’s going on?

Wonder if he forgot to renew the domain name on time, and one of his political enemies (of which he has plenty) bought it out from under him.

Peabody rooftop: Value drinking recommendation

If you plan to attend tonight’s Peabody rooftop party and you want to get the most bang out of your drinking dollars, your best bet is NOT to drink at the Peabody itself. Five bucks for a 16-ounce bottle of Bud Light? Hell no.

Here’s what I’d recommend instead. Get downtown about 6. That’s when the party starts, but don’t go there yet. Instead, go across the street to Big Foot Lodge and drink a couple of 34 oz. Big Foot Beers. You can get a Coors Light or Bud Select for $4, or a Blue Moon for a dollar more.

Drink as many of those as you can put down in an hour and a half, then head to the rooftop (you want to be sure to get there by 8, so the ladies in your group can get in for free). By now you should be sufficiently buzzed to make it through the rest of the party.

Here’s a bonus fashion recommendation for tonight’s party too: Dr. Zarr, a disco cover band, is playing. Now, of course, disco was big in the late 1970s. Around the same time, TUBE TOPS were the thing in the world of fashion. So, ladies, why not put on a tube top and be prepared to party in style! Don’t worry about going to some trendy boutique and spending $100 on a tube top; the $12 ones at Target work just as well.

It’s cold outside (52 according to my WeatherBug); wondering if they’re going to move the party indoors. If I hear that they will, it will reduce my probability of going from 100% to 60% (it would drop to zero if it was anyone other than Dr. Zarr). We’ll see.

Another post to come in the lunch hour, so check back.

Contem-plate-ing

I’m contemplating getting a second plate at the Flying Saucer.

You get your plate on the wall by drinking 200 different beers, using computer-scanned receipts to record which ones you’ve already had. When you finish the 200 you get a plate party and a $100 bar tab. As you can see in the image, I completed my first plate on November 29, 2005, after two and a half years of work. Since then I haven’t bothered to start on a second one, even though I’m at the Saucer almost every day.

(Actually, it’s not a second plate, but they change your first plate to a different color. It’s yellow for the second time, green for the third and I don’t remember what comes after that.)

Up until now, I’ve thought, “My name’s on the wall, my work is done, now I can drink what I want.” But as long as I’m drinking what I want I might as well get credit for it on the second go-round. And, if I get to 200 that’ll be an extra $100 gift certificate to throw in for our next Rapscallion party.

If I do it I’m going to try to get a little something extra whenever possible: I’ll drink the $2.50 Pint Nite drafts, the $2.50 Fire Sales, the “Buy the Beer, Keep the Glass” beer when I want the glass, the Happy Hour drafts where you get an extra 7 ounces at regular price, the bonus-points beer during trivia matches. And I’m going to skip the beers which, from the first time through, I know to be disgusting. That means it’ll take me longer to finish, because I’ll have to wait for the Saucer to get new beers in and add them to the list, which they do at the rate of several a month, so it shouldn’t be a big problem.

My UFO Club card isn’t scanning any more though. I’ll have to talk to one of the managers about getting another one. Guess I’ll do that tonight, since I’m heading up there in a few minutes.

Beauty combat gear

I heard a funny term for the first time this morning – “beauty combat gear.” It refers to the outfits that women wear when they get all dolled up to go to bars, clubs, etc. I had a good laugh and immediately thought of the Peabody rooftop parties.

Speaking of which, I’ll be there tomorrow night – I have to get my hair cut after work, but should be up there around 7:15, 7:30ish. (Ladies get in free until 8, not that it does me any good.) Dr. Zarr’s Amazing Funk Monster will be playing and I’m ready to get down to a little disco. Unfortunately my leg is hurting again, due to sitting all afternoon at work yesterday without taking a break to walk around, so my dancing ability may be affected. I’ll make the best of it though.

Ya know, I remember when I first moved downtown, in 2002, and was all excited that I’d be able to go to the rooftop parties. I was like, “Oh my God I’ll be hanging out at THE place to see and be seen, THE place to meet and greet, THE place to mix and mingle, where all the beautiful people are!” I think I actually ironed the shirt I wore the first night there, and if I remember correctly that’s the last time I ironed any of my clothes. I have a little portable travel iron that’s tucked away in some box in a closet. I last saw it four years ago when I moved to Number 10.

These days my attitude is more like, “Yeah. Rooftop parties. Hmmm. I imagine my ‘I’m really excited to be here’ T-shirt will see a lot of the rooftop this year.” Maybe if I want to dress it up a little I’ll wear my navy blazer over the T-shirt. Maybe not. I could care less about “dress to impress” (hey, that rhymes); I’m just going to have fun.

Damn these chili cheese fries are good. All right, time to log off Blogger, check my MySpace account, and then head back to work.

New report lists most dangerous intersections in town

An article in the Commercial Appeal this morning lists the 10 most dangerous intersections in the Memphis metro area. Care to take a guess where almost all of them are?

If you guessed “East Bumblefuck,” give yourself a gold star. Hacks Cross Road alone accounts for six of the ten. What a surprise… the part of town where the automobile (or, really, the obnoxiously large SUV with the “W” sticker) is king is the part of town where you’ll find the most wrecks.

What’s the solution to the problem? Well, according to this article in the Memphis Daily News, Young Heritage is holding an event with “smart growth” in mind (you’ll need to scroll about halfway down the page to see the story). They took 700 aerial photos of pre-World War II Memphis neighborhoods, back before subdivisions were designed around the car, when the places people went were a five-minute walk, rather than a five-minute drive, away. City planners (notably, Germantown) are beginning to think it’s time to get back to that model of “smart growth.” I think that’s a great idea.

In other news… my favorite blogger/MILF posted that she *might* head downtown one night next week. Wonder if that has anything to do with my mention of Cadbury Mini Eggs? The title of her post was “Tube Time,” and I got excited and hoped maybe she was posting a pic of herself in a tube top, but no, it was about her favorite TV shows. Darn.

Posting from the Second Street branch office today. I wanted their chili cheese fries last night at trivia but forgot to order them, so I’m having them now. The Fire Sale today is Shiner Bock, in case anyone is wondering.

Another post to come before I head back to work.

Bling bling fo yo kitchen

All right, so you got the 24″ rims. You got the gold necklace. You got the gold teethes. But you ain’t truly bling-blingin until you got this.

Now, I ain’t never been to Raiford’s (his personal home, not his club) but without a doubt, he’s got one of these in his kitchen, if not several.

Word.

An educational post


Today’s post is of an educational nature. Here’s a link to an article that will teach you how to make a cootie catcher.

The captain of the Mormons for Gay Polygamy trivia team was running around the Saucer all weekend playing with one of these. Now, that may cause you to think that the Mormons’ captain is a 7 year old girl, but no, it’s a 28 year old male.

The weekly trivia contest is tonight at 7 PM and let me assure you, the Rapscallions are ready to open a can of whoop ass like we never have before.

Just checked the tracker… geez… this blog got 460 hits yesterday. I guess people like reading drunk posts, inside jokes with friends and info about what all the bums are doing downtown. Oh, by the way, there’s a new bum on the streets. He carries a harmonica around and plays it – badly. He’ll follow you around blowing on that stupid thing until you give him money so he’ll go away. Now that’s a bum gimmick I’ve never seen before. I posted a list of bum gimmicks a few years ago – I need to update it.

Hungry… think I’ll stop at Quizno’s and pick up an Italian sub on my way back to work. You know one of the things I hate most about having an 8-to-5 job? I have to go to lunch at the same time everyone else goes to lunch, and stand in long lines. When I had non-traditional jobs I’d always go at like 2:30 and have the entire restaurant to myself. I miss those days.

Blah. Back to work.