The mathematics of Mountain Dew

Here’s something I just realized.

On average, I drink two 20-ounce bottles of Mountain Dew a day. Each 8-ounce serving has 110 calories, so that’s 550 calories a day that I consume by doing the Dew.

So I decided to whip out the calculator….if I switched to Diet Mountain Dew for a year, I would save over 200,000 calories. It’s generally accepted that 3,500 calories equals one pound of body weight, so I could lose 57 pounds in one year. And I wouldn’t have to give up the burgers, pizzas, fried bar appetizers and all the other crap I eat. Nor would I have to give up the voluminous amounts of alcohol I consume on the weekends, and sometimes during the week. All I’d have to do is switch to Diet Mountain Dew.

57 pounds. Wow.

But, Diet Mountain Dew tastes like piss. So I probably won’t do it.