So tonight I was DEAD tired when I got home. I just wanted to go out, have a nice dinner, and come home and crash. Being in the mood for Mexican, I went to Rio Loco. Had the shrimp nachos. And while there I noticed that Rio Loco has $6 happy hour jumbo margaritas. So I had one. Then I went to Big Foot and had a 34 oz. beer. Then I felt compelled to have another one for some reason (the bartender asked, “Paul, another beer?”) Then Mendi who leaves her debit card all over town left most of her 34 oz. beer and I couldn’t let it go to waste. Then I went to the Saucer and had a Fire Sale with my former student Naseera and her friend Mary. Naseera promised to make out with me at some point in the future for watching their purses while they went to the restroom. Naseera also admitted to me that she thinks about boffing half the waitresses at the Saucer. Nice to know that Naseera and I see eye to eye about some things.
Okay, let’s pick up where we left off last time. So I was in the coffee shop today, doing my lunchtime post. Afterward I walked around and looked at the bulletin boards.
“Host an international exchange student in your home. 901-555-xxxx”
I whipped out my cell phone and dialed. “Hello? Yes. I’d like to place an order for a Romanian, please!
“Oh, they’re high school students? It didn’t say that on the ad. Sorry, no jailbait. Thanks anyw… wait. Wait wait. These high school students… are any of them seniors? Or whatever they call the last year in Romania. Are any of them 18? Can you send one of those?
“You can? Fantastic. My address is 10 South Main, Apar… what? Radu? You’re sending me someone named Radu? You’re sending me a GUY???! What kind of pervert do you think I am… never mind, just cancel the whole thing, forget I called.” (click)
So tonight I went out to Big Foot among other places. Mendi who has now been mentioned in this blog several times came in. She told me that the elusive Master Polo was indeed at Raiford’s Saturday night, but he wanted to keep his identity secret, so he didn’t attempt to meet me. Dude. I totally understand. If I had been a pro wrestler in the 1980s, do you think I would have unmasked Mil Mascaras? Or Mr. Wrestling II? Or The Masked Superstar? Or The Super Destroyer? Although, the Super Destroyer got unmasked eventually and was revealed as Scott “Hog” Irwin. And his brother “Wild Bill” Irwin was Super Destroyer II. But anyway, point is… Master Polo, I would like to know who you are. You are a Z-list celebrity, after all. If you don’t want the blog to know who you are, understood. I won’t reveal you.
I also got to meet Mendi’s friend Meredith. Meredith had on one of those tops that tied around her neck and she commented, “If I untied it, it would be a tube top!” Sigh. I went through this with Carmel last year. Same shit, different year. The lengths I go through to educate you people. Meredith, you know how many days left you have to get it right before Tube Top Month comes to an end.
By the way… 20 days into Tube Top Month and Carmel has not worn a tube top yet. What’s up with that?
In other news… still haven’t found a Razorback tube top for Charly. If anyone can help out let me know.
When I planned this post in my head it was 4 times as long, but I need to get some sleep so I’ll be prepared for the Dempseys at the Saucer tomorrow. No lunchtime post tomorrow because I have to run my car through the inspection line. It’s 12 years old. I hope it passes.
Falling asleep as I type… gotta go…