Before we get started… ATTN SUNDAY BRUNCH CREW: Patrick from the Majestic e-mailed to inform me that they WILL be open for Sunday brunch, at the regular hours. I replied, thanking him and letting him know that some of the regulars would like Tif to dress up in a bunny costume. He said he’d pass it on
Soooooo recently I mentioned that the City Schools are bringing me on permanently. Being a government institution, there’s tons of paperwork to fill out, tons of hoops to jump through. One thing I have to do is go get a physical – I have to get a doctor to sign a note saying that I don’t have any health problems that could endanger the students. Not that I’m ever around students – I’m a web developer at the Board of Education. Nonetheless, I have to get it done.
A friend recommended that I go to Harbor of Health over on the Island, which offers same-day appointments. So I hit their site and printed out their patient intake form, so I could fill it out ahead of time… some of the questions I have to answer… oh boy.
“How many servings of green, yellow or red vegetables do you eat on average per day?” Um. OK. Let’s see. When I get nachos from Huey’s, there are tomatoes on the nachos, so that’s one. When I get a burger from Big Foot, I take the tomato off, so that’s a zero. Now, when I get grilled tilapia (“Make it SNAPPY!”) from the Flying Fish, I eat the squash and zucchini that come with it – that should count as 2. When I go to the Majestic, I look over the salads on the menu and then get a burger, so that’s a zero. When I get hot wings from the Saucer or Big Foot, I eat the celery and carrots, so that’s 2. Guess I’m doing all right there.
“How many times a week do you exercise?” Well, here I have an advantage, because I have a gym in Number 10’s basement. And I go down there a couple of times a week because that’s where the building’s coke machine is located. So I’ll go with 2. Oh, what the hell, 3, I drink a lot of coke.
“What type of exercise do you prefer?” Wild sex with hot Romanian girls. Hey, it said what type I PREFER, not what type I actually DO.
“Do you drink alcohol? How often? What kind?” Um. Yeah. Oh boy. Maybe I should just respond “See paulryburn.com/blog for the answers to these questions.”
I have the feeling I’m going to get one of those doctors who tells me all the things I need to be doing differently to be healthy. Which is different from what I want, which is a doctor who will sign the damn form and let me get on my way.
Anyway, other than little speed bumps like the physical, I’m well on my way to going permanent. In fact, one of my co-workers told me this week, “Paul, now that you’re going to be around for a while, you need to decorate your cubicle. You know, put up some pictures of your loved ones.”
Fine. I’ll take the camera up to the Saucer tonight and take some pics of the waitresses.
Heading there now.