Month: October 2007

I heard a rumor that if you eat lunch at McGuinness on Mondays, and you dress in a red polo or light gray polo, black slacks, black belt, black socks, and black shoes – please note that they have to be POLISHABLE shoes, that’s very important – you’ll get 30% off your bill.

Why? Because Monday is Uniform Monday at AutoZone, whose headquarters are a couple of blocks away. The outfit I described above is the corporate uniform, so if you go in McG wearing that attire they’ll assume you work at AutoZone and give you the company discount.

RiverArtsFest, the new arts festival on South Main that will replace both the South Main Arts Festival and Arts in the Park, needs volunteers. An application and more info can be found here. The fest happens this weekend, Friday from 6 to 9 and Saturday and Sunday from 10 to 6. Please show your support if you can, either as a volunteer or a patron. This looks to be a signature event for Downtown for years to come and will establish Memphis as important hotspot for the arts in the South.

Missed FreeWorld by six minutes yesterday… tabbed out at the Saucer at 10:24 and decided I was too tired to continue. Dammit. Might’ve made it if something other than nasty-ass Red Hook Porter had been the fire sale.

Pint Nite tonight. Of course, I’ll be at the window playing The Window Game. We’ve added two new categories – RUP (really ugly people) and buses. Not surprisingly, RUP wins just about every day.

Will possibly move to EP’s for Monday Night Football with free chili dogs, hot wings, and meatballs at 7:30. Indianapolis at Jacksonville tonight. Go Jaguars! Kill Peyton!

In case you missed it yesterday: Arkansas 44, Ole Miss 8.

Somebody done got they ass whooped.

(Edited to add: Middle Tennessee State 24, Arkansas State 7. But there’s certainly no shame for A-State in losing to an acknowledged football powerhouse and national championship contender like MTSU. Go Indians!… or whatever you guys are calling yourselves now… heh.)

I’m gonna be on TV! The new episode of Definitely Downtown, to air next Sunday, October 28 at 11:05 PM on ABC 24, features a segment about my friend Robin’s condo. Robin lives in Barton Flats and has a beautiful view of the river. A big part of her life Downtown is hanging out with her friends, so she asked about 8 of us to meet on her rooftop for wine and snacks so the TV show could document that part of her life. After the camera crew took off, none of us wanted to leave! It was a gorgeous 80 degree day and we had great company and a great view of the river.

As a result, I didn’t make it to the Saucer until almost 6:30 PM, which for a Saturday is probably a record late appearance, at least in recent times. Two friends of mine tried to get me to go see the Black Crowes on Mud Island – “They’ll rock your face off!” – but it’s been a long week of staying out late, and I just didn’t think I had enough gas in the tank.

They left, and I was joined by my friends Mikey, The Nuh-Uh Girl, Frank, and Ken. My initial plan was to have a beer or two then leave, but when I found out what band was playing – Aquanet – I knew I had to stay. Aquanet is the ’80s hair band cover band that plays the Saucer about once a month, and they are awesome. They have two requirements for songs they play – the songs have to be from the ’80s, and the band singing them has to have long hair. So we got plenty of Motley Crue, Ratt, Poison, Bon Jovi, G’n’R, and lots of stuff like that. They did make one exception to the long hair rule, to play a Billy Idol song, which is a good exception to make.

They were even better than I remember. I’m about to give them the highest compliment I possibly can – they are as good as The Dempseys, although in a completely different genre of music. And they packed the place out like no other band ever has – not even the Dempseys. It was standing room only and packed like sardines. And there were GIRLS there! The male/female ratio was 50/50, much better than a typical night at the Saucer. They pulled one of the benches back to create a dance floor, and the Nuh-Uh Girl and I went out and danced to several songs, appropriate because we both totally have the hair to rock out to ’80s hair band music. Outside the window a big crowd of locals, tourists and a bum or two gathered to watch the show.

After the end of the first set we all tabbed out and most of the gang went home. “I don’t want to leave yet! They’re too good!” said the Nuh-Uh Girl. So we reopened our tab and lasted midway into the second set, at which point hunger and drunkenness finally won out.

Aquanet’s website says they’ll be at the Hard Rock on Halloween night. Wish I could see them again, but there’s no way I’ll make it to that one. It also mentions a Flying Saucer appearance on November 3, but I checked the calendars of both the Downtown and East Bumblefuck Saucers and didn’t see their name for that night.

However, I did see The Dempseys on the calendar for the Downtown Saucer for this Thursday, October 25, so you know where I’ll be. Then again, that’s most like where I’d be even if The Dempseys weren’t playing.

I still wish the Saucer would do my “buy the beer, keep the waitress” idea. I ran this by my friend Wayne and he said, “Yeah, but they’d run out of waitresses quickly. Then they’d have to import some more of your Romanians.” I like Wayne’s thinking there.

So now it’s Sunday morning and I just made my morning run to Jack’s to buy caffeine and a newspaper. One of the bums tried to sell me weed on my walk down there.

Today is our second of two weeks doing brunch at McGuinness, then next Sunday we’ll be back at the Majestic. This time I think I may actually be hungry enough to do the Irish breakfast, a big platter featuring imported Irish meats. My friend Lee tried it last Sunday and it looked really good. After that it’ll be time to go to the Saucer, sit at the window and watch bums, and watch Pete and Clay play pool to try and determine who is the second best pool player in our group, after me of course. I am NOT going to tire out by 5 like I did last Sunday. NO SHOTS. This time I’m going to try to go the distance and make it to Blues City for FreeWorld at 10:30. Not sure that will happen – for reasons I won’t get into I didn’t get to sleep until 3 last night, so I’m once again tired today – but I’m damn sure gonna try. This is likely one of the last Sundays when I won’t have to be somewhere the following morning, and I want to take advantage of my freedom.

Sometimes I mean to go to FreeWorld on Sunday and end up switching to Plan B… hang at the Saucer ’til 9:15 then stumble over to Wang’s for Paul’s Drunkass Food to take home. I think the big Irish breakfast will be able to curb my cravings for Chinese food in the evening this time.

Song currently stuck in my head: “Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame… you give love a bad name.” Thanks Aquanet for that.

I just learned that RAIFORD’S will hold Halloween costume contests both Friday and Saturday, October 26 and 27.

Oh. It’s. On. Like. Neckbone.

Raiford’s daughter Paula does an excellent job serving up the 40s, but you know, the Disco may find itself with an extra waitress one of those nights. If you know what I mean.

If you’ve ever driven through the North Parkway – Danny Thomas – Jackson/Auction intersection and tried to make a turn, you know what a total clustermess it is. The city is finally doing something about it. This weekend they will close the intersection and realign the streets. Coming from the east, North Parkway will now feed into Auction, and Jackson will feed into Mill. North Parkway west of Danny Thomas will be closed as part of the St. Jude expansion.

Check this article in the CA for more info.

Wonder if that’ll turn Mill into a major thoroughfare through Uptown.

Fox 13 ran a story about Sunday night’s Downtown crowbar beating incident. Here’s a link. The report says that Roy Dunbar aka “Flower Man” will be charged with aggravated robbery rather than attempted murder, because the robbery charge carries stiffer penalties. Fine. I don’t care what you charge him with. Just get him off the streets for a long, long time. PLEASE.

Eyewitness News has a story about the attack as well. They report that Dunbar is a career criminal who has been in and out of jail on charges of burglary, breaking into cars, and assault.

Yesterday I also heard about another bum who branched out into activities a lot more illegal and dangerous than panhandling. Wednesday night this guy was apparently mad at the world and decided to express himself by throwing bricks at cars. The police were called and he was hauled off to jail. Good riddance, yet again.

Recap of the day yesterday: Had some website updates to do. Got most of them done, then decided about 3:30 to go hang out at the Saucer for a couple of hours. Which really meant, I decided to go hang out at the Saucer for five hours. Came home, tried to resume my work, but my Internet connection was having problems. I’ve heard I’m not the only Downtowner who has had problems with Comcast this week. So after a while I gave up and went back out, first to McGuinness and then EP’s. Got my second wind at EP’s and totally could have closed the place down, but a little after 1 I got a weird vibe from someone I thought was a friend, and decided the best thing to do was to just leave.

Computer: Good meeting you last night, and please send me details about your Wednesday night gig, will be happy to help get the word out.

I’ll also post details about EP’s Halloween party soon – just gotta download the pic from my camera.

Speaking of Halloween – this is how the Halloween parties Downtown are looking so far:

Friday the 26th: My apartment building’s party. Sorry, this is a private party. Although, exceptions can be made if you’re female and hot. Atlas (inside Jillian’s) has their party on the 26th as well.

Saturday the 27th: Flying Saucer, and last I heard McGuinness was leaning toward having their party on this date. That would be good because they’re right across the street from each other.

Wednesday the 31st: EP’s. Usually Big Foot does their party on the 31st, although I don’t have official confirmation on this.

Any other parties to add to the list? Is 450 Stonewall happening this year? Their website hasn’t been updated since 2006. Even so, their site is worth visiting to browse all the pics of hot babes from previous years.

Plans for today: Continue the project I couldn’t get done last night, now that Internet is working again. Mid-afternoon I’ll head to the Saucer, where a Trappist monk brought in all the way from Belgium will bless the kegs at 5:30. Okay, he’s not really a Trappist monk, but if you drink enough you won’t know the difference. Later in the evening I plan on going to my happy place – Raiford’s. In fact, I may go to my happy place BOTH nights this weekend. Drinking a 40 and acting a fool sounds like just what the doctor ordered for Professor Paul right about now. I didn’t make it there last weekend, so tonight I’ll probably debut the new, improved gold disco outfit.

The good thing about the blessing of the kegs is that it happens at the bar, which means I’ll likely sit at the bar, and not be tempted to sit at the outside window for hours and hours and get drunk and play The Window Game. Yesterday’s results, with the game taking place from 3:40 to 8:30: 24 bums, 20 police cars, 7 cars making left turns out of the center lane. One car turned left out of the RIGHT lane, and I didn’t even have a category for that so I counted it as two out of the center lane. Watched Estes and Sherry panhandle on Second for a while. Sherry is the pregnant female bum, and Estes is her boyfriend or husband or whatever.

DAMN IT!!! I just checked the weather, and for the third year in a row the weather looks lousy for Halloween party weekend. Lows of 49 both Friday and Saturday. Warm weather is definitely preferable for Halloween, because it’s more conducive for females to wear skimpy, slutty costumes.

My favorite blogger/MILF is invited to my building’s Halloween party if she’ll dress up as Drunk Girl Doing Jello Shots In Her Underwear again.

All right, time to wrap this up and get some work done. Looking forward to a great weekend.

I’ve been told that one of the crowbar attack victims will be interviewed on Fox 13’s news at 5, and the other will be on Channel 3’s news at 10.

My apologies to my friends at Fox 13 for not getting back with you today – I had a high-priority project come up today and couldn’t afford the time away from the computer.

Just took my noontime walk around Downtown, and I ran into “That Downtown Guy,” Lee Warren, who does the Definitely Downtown TV show (I actually like to think of him as “That Other Downtown Guy”). He asked me to stick around a minute, and he went and got his cameraman and he shot a promo of me saying, “I’m Paul Ryburn, and this is Definitely Downtown.” He said it will air on a future show.

The show has been off the air for a while, but it makes its return on Sunday, October 28 at 11:05 PM, on a new station – ABC 24. Be sure to tune in, or if you don’t stay away that week, set your DVR or VCR.

One of my readers contacted me with some news about the crowbar attack that happened Sunday night. For those of you who didn’t catch my previous post, a couple was attacked at Main and Monroe about 11:15 PM Sunday night. The attacker hit them over the head with a crowbar, and was chased away by a courtesy guard from a nearby building. The guard used the pictures on the Handling-Panhandling online forum to ID the attacker as “Flower Man,” a well-known panhandler. The police found Flower Man Monday and hauled him in.

So here’s the update: I had previously reported that the victims were tourists. Turns out that’s not the case. They were service industry workers, both of whom work at popular restaurants on Second Street. The attacker hit the female first. She hit the ground, then took off running, then collapsed at Main and Monroe. The attacker then hit the male.

Both of them are in the hospital and have staples in their scalps. They consider themselves lucky to be alive. As is usually the case with service industry workers, neither of them had health insurance.

Flower Man is being charged with attempted murder, so we likely won’t see him again for a long, long time. Again, GOOD RIDDANCE.

Got a favor to ask of you… if you know any restaurant/bar employees and/or managers in the Downtown area, please make sure they know about this. A lot of service industry people get off work and go out for drinks in their work uniforms. Since servers and bartenders usually get paid daily in cash tips, they’re walking targets with their work clothes on. They need to be extra careful after work and bring a change of clothes as possible. Also, more restaurants need to set up a system like the one at The Majestic Grille where employees don’t leave with a large amount of cash.

Another reader has e-mailed me a couple of times, asking why this story hasn’t been reported by the media. Yeah, that’s a good question, WHERE IS THE MEDIA??? Even if they didn’t know about it on their own, I know a lot of them read this blog… you’d think some of them would’ve followed up with the police, got the details, and reported it. So far Fox 13 is the only media outlet to contact me about this. The crowbar attack certainly seems as newsworthy as any of the crap on page one of today’s Commercial Appeal.

Since I mentioned that the victims work at bars on Second Street, and everyone knows I hang out at the Flying Saucer on Second, I want to let everyone know that the victims were not employees of the Saucer. THANK GOD. I would be devastated if any of those girls were attacked.

This incident also illustrates that not all the panhandlers working Downtown’s streets are harmless. Some of them will turn to more serious illegal activity if bumming is not profitable enough. Thankfully Flower Man is off the streets for good, but I know for a fact that at least two other Downtown panhandlers (Willie who works Court Square, and Sharp Dressed Bum) have felony convictions on their record. If you take out money in response to a panhandler’s request, you may be literally taking your life into your own hands.

One final note: Even though this incident happened near where I live, I still love Downtown, have no plans to move, and see Downtown as my home for years and years in the future. The benefits of being down here – the sense of community, the ability to walk everywhere, the entertainment options – far outweigh the negatives.

Sorry to be such a downer on a Thursday morning but this information needs to be made public.

Legal stuff: Flower Man is presumed innocent until found guilty in a court of law