Every year the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences gives out an award called the “Oscar” to recognize excellence in the film industry.
The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences gives out an award to recognize excellence in music. It’s called the “Grammy.”
There is no such organization as the National Association for the Preservation of Laziness, but if there were, and they gave an award for outstanding achievement in laziness, do you know what it would be called?
The “Brittney.”
Since that organization does not exist, I’m going to give the award in their honor.
The 2009 Brittney for outstanding laziness goes to the Memphis Zombies. The route they posted on their MySpace page clearly showed that they were going to walk all the way south to G.E. Patterson Avenue, through Trolley Tour, last night. A lot of people came to Trolley Tour specifically to see them. However, the lazy-ass zombies did a U-turn at Huling and headed back north, barely brushing the northernmost edge of Trolley Tour. Lots of people were stationed between Huling and G.E. Patterson with duct-tape Xs on their clothes, waiting to be zombified, and never got to.
The zombies may have expanded their route this year, but they cut off the best part of the route. Boo! They definitely earned their Brittney award last night.
Recap of last night: Went to Trolley Tour. Hung out at Mikey’s porch party. Watched people play cornhole. Drank Miller High Life Light, and later in the evening, PBR. Watched the Nuh-Uh Girl cross the street multiple times to eat off the plates of people she knew dining outside at Safari. Went to the Susan Marshall CD release party at the Warehouse. Susie was there. She only said “fail” twice after I made fun of her on my blog. Stephanie touched Susie’s boob. Stephanie is my hero. I tried to get them to kiss but they wouldn’t. Headed north with my friend Nick to Silly Goose and then to Bardog, then we went to Paula & Raiford’s Disco with drunkass Mendi and her friend from Nashville. I got a souvenir cup with the club’s name on it (thanks Paula).
For those keeping score, that was my 14th visit this month to the Silly Goose, my 8th visit this month to Bardog, and my 4th to Paula & Raiford’s. Oh I also stopped by the Saucer before I went to Trolley Tour. That was number 32 for the month for the Saucer. Damn I go to bars a lot.
Gonna try to finish up a freelance project this afternoon, then I’ve got a party to attend at 5. Maybe another post this afternoon if I need a break from freelancing.