If you hang around the group of people I do, you may have someone tell you that EVERYONE is going to the Downtown Blue Monkey tonight for karaoke. I am here to tell you that EVERYONE is not going, because “everyone” would by definition have to include me, and there is a 0.000000% chance I will show up there.
Nothing against the Monkey, by the way. It’s a great place to go. Lots of beer and booze to pick from. Typing this is making this hungry for their Cuban sandwich. When I get the sandwich I substitute their twice baked potato for the fries, because I’ve always said the twice baked potato is the key to the entire operation. I like their buffalo wing egg rolls too. Heck, pretty much their entire menu is good. It’s been too long. I need to get in there soon. Not on a Saturday night, though.
One of my friends said last night, “You talk about not going to karaoke on Saturday nights. You do realize that pretty much every South Mainer you know gets up on that stage.” Yes, and that’s one of the reasons I live in the core.
I cannot think of a bigger waste of a Saturday night than sitting around listening to people mangle the greatest hits of the past 40 years. Especially when I take into account that some people become extremely high-maintenance in the presence of a microphone and alcohol. Don’t want to deal with it.
For those of you who know my personal tastes, let me say this: I’d rather go to a formal Ptolemy party, with Meghan as my date, and I’d let her do my hair, than go to Saturday night karaoke on South Main.
Some people are into karaoke. If you are one of those people, and you think you’ll have a good time there, by all means go. However, if you’re not into karaoke, and it sounds like less than an ideal Saturday night to you, don’t go just because you hear EVERYONE is going. Everyone is not. Join me in resistance to karaoke. There is much else to do in Downtown Memphis on a Saturday night. JUST SAY NO!!!