“Toe jam and belly button lint”: Annoying people in bars

Last night, I met my friends Shawn, Joe and Spiros at the Saucer at 5 for what we figured would be a quiet evening of Thanksgiving beer drinking.

It didn’t stay quiet for long. This guy came in, and I’d seen him in there a few times before, and had seen enough of his behavior to know to have as little interaction with him as possible, lest he start looking for me every time he comes in.

He took a seat at the bar and started serenading the bartender, singing in a voice loud enough to fill not only the main room, but the outside room (the Garden) as well. The bartender went to the other end of the bar to pick up a ticket and he followed her down there, still singing very loudly. “They certainly won’t be booking him to sing on stage on the weekends,” I commented on his singing.

Then he asked the bartender, “Is it okay if I pay you for this beer the next time I come in?” WTF? Does he think he’s Wimpy? “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” The bartender didn’t like that idea much and told him he had to pay now.

“Well, fine, then!” he said, anger showing in his face. “I guess I won’t be tipping you then!” He stormed off into the other room, and it sounded like he was arguing with the servers in there. He followed one of them back into the inside room and started yelling something about “TOE JAM AND BELLY BUTTON LINT.” Again, WTF?

“I’ll see you next time,” he then told the bartender. “There won’t be a next time,” she replied.

He stormed back into the other room, chugged his beer, then came back in to put his empty glass on the bar. He thought for a minute and then put his glass on the bar upside down, so that his slobber and germs could get all over the bar. Then he finally left.

You know, lately I’ve been thinking: Servers and bartenders have to take classes and take a test to get licensed to work at bars. Maybe there needs to be a license for bar patrons as well. Make people pass a test that demonstrates they have a basic understanding of things like proper manners when ordering a drink; tipping appropriately; personal space; body language; that it’s inappropriate to excessively mooch drinks from other bar patrons; not touching other people’s food without permission; and other basic etiquette. Everyone would have a better time if only those licensed to be in bars were allowed in.

Sincere apologies to those in South Main whose parties I said I’d attend, but didn’t make it. I really did want to come to the potluck I was invited to down there, but by 7:30 it was raining cats and dogs, showing no sign of stopping, and the trolley was on holiday schedule. Apologies as well for missing the annual Thanksgiving party at Earnestine & Hazel’s.

No big plans for today. I guess I’ll head to the Saucer at 1:30 to watch the Auburn-Alabama game. No disrespect to my friends from Bama, but I have to root for Auburn to win this one, as it is necessary for Arkansas to receive a BCS bid when they beat overrated LSU tomorrow. Later today I’ll head to South Main Trolley Night and probably the Jimi Hendrix party at the Warehouse. Enjoying the 4 day weekend… maybe I’ll see you out!