If you’ve read my blog for years, you can just skip this post. You already know. This post is for the newcomers.
Once a year, Memphis restaurant bartenders and servers come together for a celebration before they embark on the busy season that begins with Memphis in May. The event happens on Beale Street, kicking things off with a parade running from Fourth to Handy Park. Many restaurants build elaborate floats for the parade; some dispense with the float altogether and just walk.
The parade ends at Handy Park, at Third and Beale, where there is an amphitheater. There the “Queen of the Vine” beauty contest begins. One by one the girls representing area restaurants are introduced. They have a few minutes to shake their stuff, then there is a question for each girl to answer. Then the girls shake their stuff again and then a winner is chosen.
Now, the thing is, usually about half the Queen of the Vine participants are lovely young women; for example, my friend Amanda “Panda” who was the 2011 winner, and my friend Trish who was the 2012 winner. How to describe the other half of the girls? A friend of mine found the perfect word in a conversation at the Silly Goose last week – ratchet.
After Queen of the Vine, there is a grape stomp in Handy Park near the bar area. This isn’t as much fun to watch as Queen of the Vine, and a lot of people use it as a break to go get a drink. Where to do that? Well, IF YOU’RE NOT DRIVING I recommend walking across the street to Wet Willie’s and getting a Call-a-Cab. This fruit punch-flavored daiquiri, in the large serving, contains about as much alcohol as four and a half beers. One of those will do you right. I don’t recommend drinking more than one unless you’re a pro.
After the grape stomp, the action moves back to Beale for the final event, the wine relay. Teams of four from each restaurant compete. The first runner has to open a bottle of wine, pour a glass, place bottle and glass on a tray, and run to the other end of the track. There, the second team member opens a second bottle of wine, pours a second glass, and runs back with both bottles and glasses. The third team member runs with three bottles and glasses, the fourth with four. If a team drops their tray, they are disqualified. For those not disqualified, fastest time wins. Huey’s is known for winning this thing most years. Recently I found out their secret: Team members are not allowed to drink until Wine Race is over. What fun is that? The whole point of Wine Race is for servers to have a day to blow off steam.
Once the wine relay ends, it’s time to party at the bars Downtown. Want me to recommend some places? Okay, I will.
If you want to remain on Beale Street, Jerry Lee Lewis’s place (formerly Pat O’s), Silky O’ Sullivan’s, and the Beale Street Tap Room are all good.
The Silly Goose. This is a lounge about a block northwest of Beale, on Peabody Place. This place will be a complete shitshow starting about 5 PM. If you like PBR, the Goose’s is among the cheapest Downtown.
The Blind Bear. This is a speakeasy on Main Street a block and a half north of Beale, right before Gayoso. The Bear will most likely win at least one of the four Wine Race events and it should be a big party in there. I will be wearing one of the Bear’s Wine Race T-shirts today. They will have their usual poker game at 6:30, although I don’t intend to play, as I never do when I have the next day off. (Disclosure: I’m a bit biased toward the Bear because they are my BBQ team’s sponsor.)
Many Downtowners take the Monday after Wine Race out, so they can stay out late and party with their favorite bartenders and servers. If you didn’t take the day off, you could always call in sick. Trust me, if you drink multiple Call-a-Cabs you won’t be lying about being sick.
I’ll have the camera with me – not my iPhone cam (well, I’ll have that too) but my real camera with 14x zoom. Come find me and say hello – I’ll have my red Blind Bear T-shirt on and khaki shorts probably.
My friend Air Traffic Mike won’t be here today but he has a post on Wine Race in his blog that is worth a read. Unfortunately the “stalky” blogger he refers to will almost certainly be there.
There is no greater day of debauchery in Downtown Memphis, with the possible exception of BBQ Fest. Parade starts at 1 PM. Come join the fun and be a part of it, if you dare!