Sunday update #1: That ’70s Show marathon on rabbit ears today at noon

You may have noticed I blogged yesterday about a couple of Downtown bars  now selling to-go beers. This is because the Memphis Alcohol Commission unanimously voted to allow delivery and take-out of beer for now, to allow restaurants to reduce existing inventory. Sales will be allowed until the Memphis-wide state of emergency is called off by the mayor. Draft beer that is sold must be in a sealed container.

The Blind Bear will be open 11 AM-9 PM for to-go food and beer. They have these 64 oz. collectible growlers for $25.

Lifehacker has a way for you to watch Broadway shows for free while you’re holed up at home for a while. You have to sign up for a free service called BroadwayHD, then cancel before your free 7-day trial runs out, but as Lifehacker points out, when you’re stuck at home you can watch a lot of musicals in 7 days. Not quite the same as going to the Orpheum, but it’ll do in a pinch!

Volunteer Memphis has a number of different volunteer opportunities you can pursue even while COVID-19 is raging. There are tasks like donating blood and organizing food bank shipments, as well as virtual volunteering including mentoring online, answering a crisis text line, or helping to scan books into a collection readable by those with print disabilities.

Let’s hear it for the good guys: Some landlords around town are reaching out to their restaurant tenants and telling them, you can tear up your April rent check. Some of them are even promising that if things don’t get better by May, you’re off the hook for rent that month too. This is the kind of generosity that is going to save small business from failure and help the coronavirus recession from blowing up into a full depression. We all have to work together to beat this pandemic.

Let’s hear it for more good guys: Owner Josh Huckaby and his folks at the Green Beetle worked hard to provide a meal for the employees of a local Kroger who had been working their butts off to keep the shelves stocked and everything sanitized. Unfortunately the Beetle announced yesterday was their last day of take-out and they’ll see you all once the quarantine is lifted. Definitely go out and support them when they get back open!

Let’s hear it for even more good guys:

Here’s a comprehensive list of services, help paying bills, and other resources for those affected by coronavirus in the 38103. Over 1700 resources total. (h/t Scott Finney AKA @finnious on Twitter)

News about Jerry Lawler’s place on Beale:

They subsequently tweeted three specials going on this weekend:

  • $10 for a generous portion of pulled pork, BBQ ribs, fries, beans, and coleslaw
  • $6 for The King’s classic smoked sausage and cheese platter
  • $6 for five fried wings with your choice of sauce

Max’s Sports Bar will re-open today for all your to-go and delivery needs, and henceforth they will be open 11 AM-9 PM daily. They’ll have to-go beers, subs, BBQ nachos, hot dogs, and maybe some limited menu items to keep things interesting.

Kroger is hiring. 120 positions currently open in the Memphis metro. I’m told that Aldi, Amazon, and Costco are hiring too.

LOL I bet there are some women freaking out about this coronavirus thing. If they can’t go to the hair salon for 8-10 weeks, their roots are gonna be showing and their extensions are gonna be looking all scraggly.

The Daily Memphian coronavirus blog had a couple of items that affect Downtown. First of all, a St. Jude employee tested positive for COVID-19, and this person worked in patient care. Considering people can incubate the virus for 5 days before showing symptoms, that could be bad.

Secondly, Mayor Strickland has extended his emergency order to close more types of businesses Saturday at midnight, including

  • Cigar bars that allow in-store consumption. Oh man… there’s a pretty sizable cigar scene Downtown. Some really good people. Sad day for them.
  • Hookah bars offering products for on-site consumption. So, if Flava House Lounge wasn’t already closed, it is now.
  • Theaters, cinemas, and indoor and outdoor performance venues, although I think all of the ones Downtown had voluntarily closed already (Malco Powerhouse, Orpheum)
  • Bowling alleys, although I think the one Downtown (inside Bass Pro) had already closed voluntarily
  • Indoor climbing facilities, indoor skating rings, trampoline parks, vaping lounges
  • Country clubs (only for dine-in and on-site consumption)

From the CA: An empty Beale Street follows Memphis’ new coronavirus rules

There’s a That ’70s Show marathon on Laff TV (rabbit ears 24.2) noon to 7:30 PM. I found that show on TV last night and had forgotten how good it was. The fact that this news item not only made it into this post, but the post’s title as well, shows how desperate for entertainment we are.

I used to watch That ’70s Show with my mom. You know those scenes where they’d be in the basement and the lights were turned down and the camera would pan around the circular table with the teenagers seated? I asked my mom, “There’s an object that’s being passed around, but always outside of camera range. Do you know what it is?”

She didn’t know.

I said, “Well, why do you think it’s so smoky in those scenes?”

She had no idea.

After my four episodes of That ’70s Show went off the air last night, Home Improvement came on. That show is maybe 5% as funny as That ’70s Show.

I did some research this weekend on the Great Depression and found these numbers:

  • September 3, 1929: The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 381.17, its highest close ever to that point.
  • July 8, 1932: The Dow closed at 41.22. That means the Dow lost nearly NINETY PERCENT of its value in less than three years. Fortunes were truly lost.
  • The Dow did not see a close above the 381.17 mark for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS, in 1954.

Think the Dow could fall 90% from its high again because of the coronavirus pandemic? When I initially posed that question to myself, I thought, nah, 50% has got to be the most. But look at the numbers:

  • The Dow had an all-time high of 29,588.57 around Valentine’s Day.
  • The Dow closed at 19, 173.98 Friday. That means the Dow has already shed 35% of its value in 5 weeks’ time.

Does anyone think the economic impact of COVID-19 has been fully priced into the stock market? I sure as hell don’t. I think if we’re shuttered in our homes until June, we’ll see a four-digit Dow, which would mean a two-thirds loss of value.

This is scary AF y’all.

Probably back with more news throughout the day, because let’s face it, what else do I have to do?