Monday update

One thing I noticed about the Memphis Farmers Market is that quite a few Chinese people shop there. For example, last Saturday I was only there about 10 minutes, and I saw 4 Chinese people out of the 70 or so shoppers there. That’s not a huge amount, but that’s more than 5% of the crowd, way disproportionate to the number of Chinese in Memphis as a whole. I’ve wanted to go up and ask them, “Why do y’all like farmers markets so much?” but I was worried the question might sound culturally insensitive.

This weekend I found my answer on Google. “Wet” markets are common in China. Much like our Memphis Farmers Market, vegetables, fruits, meat, and seafood are sold in the open air. These “wet” markets are said to be a big part of Chinese culture and therefore farmers markets are a comforting environment to Chinese-Americans. They’re called “wet” because of the water used to water down the produce, the ice used to keep meat from spoiling, and in contrast to “dry” products like ramen.

I heard about 8 loud gunshots that sounded like they came from the Main-Monroe intersection about 12:15 AM. I’ll say it once again: That is more gunshots than I heard Downtown between 2003 and 2019. I have probably heard 100 gunshots from my apartment since the start of the pandemic. Downtown is getting real ghetto and I think it may be past the point of the cops having any ability to clean it up. I’m not considering leaving but my recommendation to move down here isn’t as strong as it would have been 5 or 10 years ago.

Felicia sent out a hint yesterday as to where Felicia Suzanne Restaurant will be relocating. She said she wasn’t ready to reveal the new location yet, but she said it is exactly 1392 steps from the old location. It could be to the north, east, or south (west would put the new location under water).

Let’s do a little math. I walked a total of 8 blocks yesterday, and my iPhone’s Health app said I walked 2068 steps. So 1392 steps would be about 5 blocks. Hmmm. Let’s do a little thinking:

  • South – The restaurant could be the anchor tenant in one of the new One Beale buildings. It could also go into the old Swanky’s location in the Chisca apartments.
  • East – Felicia is a forward thinker, and there is no up-and-coming neighborhood in Memphis as hot as The Edge District right now. The restaurant could be an anchor tenant in mixed-use construction happening there. It would have to be more toward the western side of The Edge (Fourth/Danny Thomas) than the eastern (Sun Studio) to fit 1392 steps.
  • North – Nope. 1392 steps would put you right in the middle of the Civic Center Plaza. I know the city has plans to re-think that area but we’re years out from it happening.

This weekend I found myself seated next to 3 people from out of town who said they were tourists – a man and woman in their 30s, and a man a few years older than me, who was the main one I talked to. He introduced himself, got on a first-name basis with me, asked for my recommendations for stuff to do, bought me a shot.

Then he leaned toward me and asked, “Paul, I hope that isn’t awkward. What we’re really looking for down here is some cocaine. Do you know where I can get some?”

“Man, I’m sorry, but I don’t know,” I replied. “I’ve never done coke in my life. I hear it’s not hard to find down here, but I’m not your guy.”

He thanked me for my honesty and didn’t attempt to bring up the subject any further. I put the conversation out of my mind, but the next morning my intuition caused me to sit up in bed, wide awake. The way that guy befriended me, gained my trust, used the reciprocity principle by buying me a shot… I think that was a cop.

College football AP poll is out… let’s see what we’ve got. Georgia rises to 1 following Alabama’s upset by Texas A&M. Memphis’ AAC rival Cincinnati rises to 3. Bama drops to 5. Ole Miss and Arkansas trade the 13 and 17 spots following Ole Miss’s win in Oxford. A&M re-enters the rankings at 21. Memphis’ conference rival SMU comes in at 23. Arkansas’ next opponent Auburn is the first school out of the top 25.

You just can’t make this stuff up:

“That’s two in a row, we call that a winning streak. We’re playing lights-out football against some tough teams. Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to play Tennessee right now.” – Josh Heupel, Tennessee head football coach
  • The “tough teams” his Vols played “lights-out football” against were Missouri and South Carolina, which along with Vanderbilt comprise the worst teams in the SEC.
  • The next four teams on the schedule: 13 Ole Miss, 5 Alabama, 11 Kentucky, and 1 Georgia. I bet you those teams are delighted to see a Tennessee game on the horizon. If the Vols go 1-3 in that stretch it will be a miracle.

I gotta ask – Is there lead paint on the walls of the Tennessee head football coach’s office? Is there asbestos in the ceiling? There’s something about that space that makes its occupant extra stupid. That quote sounds like something Butch Jones would have said.

Dinosaurs are invading Memphis next month! 50 animatronic dinosaurs are coming to the Renasant Convention Center Saturday and Sunday, October 23 and 24. They move and growl. Also part of the fun:

  • Guided audio tour
  • Dinosaur trivia
  • 6 dinosaur-themed bounce houses
  • Dinosaur rides

General admission tickets (whether you’re an adult or a kid) are $19. An unlimited ride pass (which does not include a general admission ticket) is $33.

I had a dream last night where I went to a toy store and bought an IT Department Action Figure 4-pack. The first action figure was a white guy with 5 days’ beard growth and a sci-fi T-shirt. The second was an Indian man in a sweater vest. The third was an Indian woman. The slot for the 4th action figure was empty except for a note: “This position is open. If interested, kindly contact staffing agency Robert Half.”

From Lifehacker: How to sneak food into the movies like a criminal

Across the Board Restaurant Group is holding a job fair next Monday, October 18, from 1 to 4 PM at 117 Prime (117 Union Ave.) They’ll take applications not only for that restaurant, but Sweet Grass and Sunrise as well.

The Boston Marathon is today. It’s also Columbus Day so I hope you don’t have urgent business with the government or a bank today. It’s National Kimberly Day, so cheers to any Kimberlys, Kims, or Kimsters I have reading this post. Finally, it’s National Sausage Pizza Day. I’m one of those people who think sausage is a superior pizza topping to pepperoni, although I’ll take either as long as you don’t throw any pineapple on there.

Weather: There’s a possibility of high winds, hail, heavy rain, or a tornado today.

The updated bowl projections have Tennessee in the Liberty Bowl. Please don’t send in the clowns! On the other hand, the projections have the Tigers taking a nice little trip to Hawaii. Alabama-Texas in the Sugar, Nebraska-Arkansas in the Outback, Minnesota-Ole Miss in Music City.

That’s it for now. I’ll be back tomorrow with info on 2 festivals, college football times and channels, and whatever other news comes my way.