Month: January 2023

Short post today. I don’t want to take the laptop on the road with me due to the threat of rain.

The first 5000 fans at the Grizzlies game tonight (vs. Cleveland, tip at 7) get hongbao, a lucky red envelope, to celebrate the Lunar New Year.

There was a Memphis trip in one of the showcases on The Price Is Right yesterday. 6 (I think?) night stay at Hotel Indigo plus a food tour for two. Cristina is that one of your tours?

All the other news is not time-sensitive, so I’m gonna push it ’til ‘morrow.

I’ve been on a psychic spree lately.

Shortly after I woke up yesterday, The Sundance Kid came to mind. That’s a movie character from old black & white Westerns – Butch Cassidy’s sidekick. I’ve never actually seen one of his movies. My grandmother told me about them. So The Sundance Kid probably last popped into my mind 35 years ago. I found it strange that he did yesterday.

I got dressed and went to Bardog, as I often do on holidays. Allie Cat had the Game Show Network on. It was a show where if you beat the other contestants, you go heads-up against trivia guru Ken Jennings for big money. Guess what the answer to one of the trivia questions was?

The Sundance Kid.

Freaky, man.

Fast-forward to about 10 last night. I was parked on a stool at Blind Bear, about one-third of my PBR can left, getting ready to order another. Just for shits & giggles I decided to check the radar on my phone. “Let’s see if i’m gonna get pelted with a few drops of rain on the way home.”

Nope. Not a few drops.

A line of torrential rain was about 10 minutes west of Downtown. “CHICO. TAB. NOW!” I said. I apologized to Chico for barking at him and explained the situation. He understood. I hoofed it home as fast as I can, texted the butt sluts that I made it safely, and crawled under the covers. As I did I heard heavy rain hit my window. Made it. Thank goodness for intuition.

Since I mentioned Chico… let’s do a list.

DOWNTOWN BARTENDERS WHO HAVE SERVED ME THE LONGEST

1. Darrell (NightHawk) – King’s Palace Cafe, KPC Tap Room, other places – 20 years
2. Chico – King’s Palace Cafe, KPC Tap Room, Blind Bear – 20 years
3. Jeannette – Kooky Canuck, Silly Goose, now owner of Blind Bear – 17 years
4. Bjarni – Lolo’s Table, Mollie Fontaine’s, Flying Saucer, Max’s Sports Bar – 15 years
5. Jessica – Flying Saucer, Silly Goose, Max’s Sports Bar, Local on Main – 14 years

All right… let’s get on to the news…

The Grizzlies, on a 10-game winning streak, have risen to #3 in the NBA Power Rankings.

You have a few more days. Go vote for Ja, Jaren, and Des for the NBA All-Star Game.

Did you know that Ja leads the NBA in dunks among guards? He now has dunks against every other NBA team.

Missed the Earl Young Sports Legacy Symposium that preceded the Grizzlies game yesterday? Watch it here. NOTE: Fast-forward to 2:50 to get past the title graphic

Congrats to Keun “KD” Anderson, the Big Guy, who has been appointed Executive Chef at Loflin Yard. He plans to make the place a culinary destination as much as it is a spot to hang out and drink in the open air. (hat tip to Edible Memphis for the info)

There will be a Gene Bartow bobblehead giveaway Thursday to the first 1000 fans at FedExForum when Penny’s Memphis Tigers host Wichita State. Tip time is 6 PM. TV will be ESPNU.

Stand-up comic Wanda Sykes comes to the Orpheum Friday. Tickets are $39.50-$89.50.

Exciting news! The Portable Sanitation Association Convention & Trade Show comes to Downtown Memphis January 31-February 3. That’ll surely be a fun group of people to hang out with in the evening after their presentations are over. I can’t wait to hear about the latest advances in urinal cakes.

Today is Judgment Day.

Jesus has been charged with kidnapping.

Action News 5 has coverage of the MLK Day parade, which returned Downtown yesterday after a pandemic break.

Strong storms are possible tomorrow. Forecast radar indicates 5 PM may be the hour.

Star & Micey play Loflin Yard Saturday.

SugaShack at 392 Beale has Blues in the Basement this Thursday evening.

Blind Mississippi Morris plays Blues City Cafe Friday.

The Broom Closet will host a Revive. Renew. Thrive. group hypnosis session Saturday from 2 to 4.

Butt Slut #1 just joined me at the Monroe Avenue Branch Office. I did the impossible last night. I made her so mad that she blocked my texts for a few hours.

Remember, Sunday night I referenced one of her body parts (a part I don’t have) in the most lewd language possible, shocking our friends sitting with us. Did she block me for that? No. She shrugged it off and said, “That’s just the way Paul and I talk to each other.”

But Monday night I did something far worse.

I texted her “Go Bucs!” as they kicked off against her Dallas Cowboys.

That got me blocked.

Women.

Okay. The Showcase Showdown is about to come on, so I’m gonna hit Publish. Back tomorrow.

Let me start off by reposting that archive of Dr. King’s speeches. I encourage all my readers to read or listen to one today.

The Grizzlies play the Suns in the MLK Day Game at 5:00. Yes the game is nationally televised on TNT… BUT, did you know Bally Sports Southeast is allowed to co-broadcast this one? Who ya gonna tune into – some national broadcasters ya never heard of, or your friends Pete, Brevin, and Fish? I think it’s 831 on Xfinity.

It’s Prohibition Remembrance Day. Celebrate with a Moonshine Monday shot at Blind Bear.

It’s also International Hot and Spicy Food Day. No Downtown recommendation but I do recommend you go to an Indian joint, order Chicken Tikka Masala, and request it extra spicy. We need an Indian restaurant down here.

I had the strawberry pancakes at Bardog y’day for the first time. Really good. I could have easily eaten them without syrup. Sorry I didn’t get a pic – still figuring out uploading issues.

Penny’s Memphis Tigers improved to 13-5 thanks to a Kendric Davis buzzer-beater for the 61-59 win over Temple. ESPN Bracketology continues to project Memphis as Last Four In.

Keep an eye on the forecast, because storms are likely Wednesday.

Billy Joel impersonating Mick Jagger! Thanks to my friend Randy for informing me of this:

So, there was an exchange between Butt Slut #1 and me at Blind Bear last night that perfectly illustrates the friendship we have:

1. I said something INCREDIBLY vulgar to her. Has to do with a line from yesterday’s post and her being a brunette
2. Mutual friend: “Paulie, you crossed the line with that one”
3. Butt Slut #1: “No, with us there is no line”
4. Butt Slut #1 flipped me off
5. I flipped Butt Slut #1 off
6. Butt Slut #1 wrapped her middle finger around my middle finger and we held middle fingers for a minute

Should I root for the Cowboys tonight in support of her? It goes against the values ingrained in me my entire life. As someone who grew up in Arkansas in the ’70s and ’80s, we were taught to hate all things Texas. But she is a good friend (oops, I mistyped “goof friend.” She’s that too).

You know where I go to celebrate holidays. See you tomorrow.

The Blind Bear is trying something different at Sunday brunch today. They’re adding live music by Adam Levin starting at 1 PM. I don’t know who Adam Levin is but the Facebook event’s cover photo has him in front of a piano. And the Blind Bear has a piano. So there you go.

I can’t make it due to other plans, but I am pleased to see the Bear trying a live musician for brunch. In my first days of going out for brunch Downtown – some 20 years ago – I’d go to Sleep Out Louie’s on Sundays where jazz musician Charlie Wood would play. I didn’t know a lot of the other regulars at first, but we bonded over singing along with Charlie and talking to him during breaks. Same thing with Pam & Terry on Friday night. Live music can unify a roomful of people.

I’m all for the Bear trying new ideas, as long as they’re not ideas that will run off most of the bar’s existing regulars. * coughmaleburlesquecough *

My TV producer friend tells me that the Earl Young Sports Legacy Symposium will be broadcast live on Bally Sports Southeast Monday at 3:30, immediately preceding the MLK Day game broadcast. I should be at the Bear at that time and I’m gonna try to get the symposium on a TV with either sound or closed captioning. Because what else is there to watch at 3:30 on a Monday, Judge Judy? For those not familiar, the symposium is a panel discussion about sports and race, Always quite interesting to listen to.

For those of you off work for the holiday, I’ve confirmed with bartender Allie Cat that Bardog will open as normal at 8 AM Monday.

Did you know that Riverside Drive used to be a garbage dump? ABC 24 has details.

Well dammit II STILL can’t upload pics to this blog via WordPress. This has been going on for 3 weeks now. JSON error I think. Otto – if you’re reading this, any ideas? I’m running the current version of WordPress, taking the photos from my iPhone 11 (yes I know you hate iPhones) and uploading from my MacBook Air (yes I know you hate Macs).

Anyway, I wanted to upload pics so you could see my Christmas presents that the butt sluts brought me yesterday. I’ll just link to the ones I can find:

• A Pabst Blue Ribbon “Milwaukee, Wis. Good-Time Flavor” shirt. It has an image of a skeleton/Grim Reaper figure carrying a can of PBR and an “1844” flag. Like this one but long-sleeved. Which is good because I needed a long-sleeved T-shirt that fits.
• A Burp Loading, Please Wait T-shirt featuring the little spinner icon the computer shows you to let you know it’s busy. Butt Slut #2 hates it when I burp; Butt Slut #1 doesn’t care and simply says “burp” to acknowledge it.
• A pair of Christmas glasses with gold glitter and a snowman and a Christmas tree. READERS: If you ever see me wearing those things in public, you have permission to SHOOT ME DEAD on sight.
• A packet of Land O’ Lakes Classic Cocoa Mix, hazelnut & chocolate flavor

Today is National Strawberry Ice Cream Day. During the coldest part of the winter?

The Grizzlies are still tied for the lead in the West after defeating Indiana last night. Technically, though, they’re second in the West because Denver holds the tiebreaker.

Danny Green is getting closer to recovering from his injury, participating in his first 5-on-5 practice with the Grizzlies this week. The 35-year-old is a 3-time NBA champion with a wealth of experience to offer. He’s been fitting in really well in the locker room.

Weather today: 56/no chance of rain today, 47 and rising/10% chance of rain tonight. Oooh, for a white boy like me, that’s borderline shorts territory. Two problems though: The temp has to rise to 56 from a low around 30 last night. Also, we’ll be looking at winds in the 13-15 MPH range.

Nextdoor headline this morning: “Dog urine is ruining our pot and plant.” Man, if I smoked weed and had a dog and he pissed on it, he’d get a one-way ticket to Memphis Animal Services.

There’s now a location for the DNA meeting Tuesday, January 24 at 5:30 PM: The new event center at 111 Madison. I didn’t even know there was a new event center; right around the corner from me, guess I’ll have to go! Downtown news & tips, Mud Island updates, safety updates, and a guest speaker still TBA.

I nailed all 5 specials at Bardog brunch yesterday, although Butt Slut #1 claimed I got one wrong because I had “Blackened snapper” on my blog and it read “Blackened red snapper” on the board. Whatever. Reminds me, though, of a famous story of Led Zeppelin ice fishing with a red-haired groupie. “Let’s see how your red snapper likes this red snapper.” No, really, they did that. Look it up.

Anyway, predictions for Bardog’s brunch specials today:

• Blackened RED snapper
• Strawberry or blueberry pancakes
• Lobster omelette
• Chicken-N-Waffles
• Grilled pork chop

SSDD

Meeting my friend Randy there at 11. Back tomorrow with more news.

So, yesterday I posted about how I like to read one of Dr. King’s speeches or essays every MLK Day weekend. I posted a link to an archive.

I was totally gonna pull up that archive on my phone at Bardog yesterday and get my reading in. (Hey, nobody said you can ONLY read Dr. King’s work in a library.)

Then Price Is Right came on and I forgot.

Isn’t that a sad commentary on where we are as a society?

I missed a chance to be inspired by one of the great orators of the past 100 years.

But, hey, I got to see Plinko.

That’s my favorite of all the Price Is Right games.

They had this dumb 18-year-old on there who didn’t win much money. You want to drop your chips in the middle of the Plinko board and drop them slowly. That’s your best chance of hitting the $10,000 slot.

But seriously, anybody got a rec for a Dr. King speech/essay to read? In recent years I’ve read Letter from a Birmingham Jail, some of his 1967/68 stuff, and one of his first speeches (1955 I believe). What gap should I fill in?

Now, on to a different topic.

Pet Peeve: People who sit at the bar at restaurants and have long, loud speakerphone conversations (traditional phone call or Facetime)

It is fucking RUDE to the other guests at the bar to subject them to your phone conversation.

Now, a quick convo with a PURPOSE, I can understand. Examples:

• “We’re still on for 2:30, right? Where are we meeting? Okay, thanks, bye.”
• “I left the door unlocked and kenneled the dog, so the maintenance man can come in and service my heater. Thanks. Bye.”
• “Oh, there was a problem with the auto-run of the daily report? Let me get out my laptop and dig into it. Thanks for letting me know. Bye.”

On the other hand, this is NOT cool:

• “HEY WHADDUP GIRL” followed by 45 minutes of random, pointless bullshit

If you must have those kinds of conversations, here are some suggestions:

1 – Have those conversations before or after you leave the restaurant

The bar area is not your private living room. You share it with other people. So find a way to have those conversations in a place that is more exclusively yours.

2 – Take your phone outside to have those conversations

Yes, I know it’s cold this time of year. But smokers go outside to partake in their nasty habit all the time. And your conversation is annoying as their smoke.

3 – Sit at a table, not the bar

This isn’t ideal, but at least you’re not shoulder to shoulder with strangers while you have your conversation.

4 – Text instead

Despite the slightly vulgar nickname (which I didn’t create), I think most of you have figured out that Butt Slut #1 and I are pretty fabulous friends. You know how many times she and I have actually TALKED on the phone?

ZERO. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Bupkus. Goose egg.

If I called her up and said, “Hey, girl, I just wanted to shoot the shit witcha for a while,” she’d think I had lost my mind. She’d think she was being set up for a practical joke.

You can text as much as you want without disturbing those around you. Make the text app your friend.

(steps off soapbox)

Everyone get through Friday the 13th okay? Miraculously, I did.

Let’s get on to the news.

Today is Feast of the Ass. I’ll sidestep the obvious joke (since that person has already been mentioned today) and instead say “Cheers” to my friend Krisma who raises donkeys on her farm.

The Grizzlies play a road game vs. the Indiana Pacers tonight at 6. TV is Bally Sports Southeast. Game preview

Penny’s Tigers hit the road to play Temple Sunday at 2. TV is ESPN2. The Tigers are currently projected as Last Four In in ESPN’s Bracketology. This game is more or less a must-win.

More than 30 artists will have their art exhibited in Marshall Arts and Slim & Husky’s for a month.

For those of you who remember Michael Cahaal’s Cafe Roux on Front Street, Jennifer Biggs of the DM has his shrimp and crawfish etouffee recipe.

The annual Race for Reconciliation is Monday at AutoZone Park.

Shen Yun returns to the Cannon Center the last weekend of January.

Magician Mike Super 2.0 comes to the Halloran Centre tonight. Tickets are $37.50.

Predictions for Bardog brunch specials today:

• Blackened snapper
• Lobster omelette
• Strawberry or blueberry pancakes
• Chicken-N-Waffles
• Grilled pork chop

TL;DR: SSDD.

That’s it for now. Back tomorrow with more news.

I don’t have a good feeling about this. I’d probably be well-advised to stay home all day. That’s not gonna happen though.

First Jeff Beck died, then Lisa Marie Presley. These things usually happen in threes. I wonder if #3 will happen today and who it will be. I hope it’s not another Yardbirds guitarist (Clapton, Page).

Cerrito Trivia announced a new venue yesterday. They’ll be at Longshot every Thursday. Where else can you play trivia and shuffleboard at the same time?

The Grizzlies have announced the lineup of events for Monday’s MLK Day game. Former basketball players Nancy Lieberman, Gary Payton, and Luol Deng will be honored at the celebration, as will current Tennessee State football coach Eddie George.

I always try to read something by Dr. King – a speech or essay – over MLK Day weekend. Here’s an archive if you want to do so, too.

ESPN reports that Triple-A Minor League Baseball games, including games the Redbirds play, will have an electronic strike zone this coming season. No more home plate umps who are blind as bats.

Blues City Cafe will be closed Tuesday night for their company Christmas party.

It’s National Rubber Ducky Day. Get one at the Peabody gift shop.

A city councilman says we need big ideas to curb Downtown crime. Interesting… Blue Suede Brigade will add a night shift. That should help.

The DM has a report on the DMC’s State of Downtown address this week. Service industry: You may soon qualify for a $30 Downtown parking pass.

The Main St. trolleys can’t cross Monroe because of that pipe I mentioned in yesterday’s post. You have to get off, step over the pipe, and get on another trolley.

Free admission to the National Civil Rights Museum on Monday.

All right. That’ll do it. Stepping out into this world to face Friday the 13th head-on.

So, last night about 12:00 I was walking home from Blind Bear. As I got to the intersection of Main and Monroe I discovered a large pipe lying all the way across the road. MLGW is doing sewer repair work in the area. It was a bit scary because the pipe was ~8 inches in diameter and I have bad legs and would have had trouble stepping over it. But there’s an orange platform on the west side of Main where you can get by.

DAMMIT I just realized…. I’m now required to text the butt sluts every night and inform them I made it home safely. I missed a perfect opportunity to make an “8 inches of pipe” joke in last night’s text.

Every morning I get an email linking to stats site Fivethirtyeight’s top story. Today it was Memphis-related: Jaren Jackson Jr. is the top candidate for Defensive Player of the Year, but an unusual candidate. By some measures, he resembles Dennis Rodman more than any past winner. Dye your hair Beale Street Blue, Jaren!

The Blind Bear Speakeasy has announced its St. Valentine’s Day Massacre party for Saturday, February 11. Queenager will play, prizes for best costumes, more details to be announced. Party like it’s 1929!

Lorenzen Wright’s jersey (55) will be retired by the Tigers on February 4.

It’s Curried Chicken Day. The Nine Thai Sushi has red, green, and massaman curries.

Cheers to Ja Morant for making things right when an 11-year-old fan’s autographed basketball was stolen at a recent game.

No, WWE has not been sold to the Saudis yet, although it could happen. I hate to see Vinnie Mac back as chairman of the board, though. I hope he doesn’t get involved in the creative process.

RIP Jeff Beck

That’ll do it for today. Back tomorrow.

It’s gonna be a warm one today folks. MemphisWeather.net is predicting a high of 69 and a low of 59 with showers moving in after midnight. It’ll be a shorts day for me for sure. Although, I’ll still wear a hoodie or fleece of some sort because I tend to sit right in the path of the air vent at Blind Bear.

Tennessee got some excellent news yesterday: IN-N-OUT BURGER IS COMING!!!!! They haven’t announced what cities will get one yet. PLEASE put one in Memphis!!! And not way out on G-town Parkway or Goodman Road. Midtown or closer!

I lived in San Diego for 6 months and am well familiar with the chain. The main thing to know is that you can (and should) order off their secret menu. Actually, there are only 4 words you need to know: Double Double Animal Style. That’s two beef patties, two slices of cheese, with the beef patties cooked in mustard, extra spread, grilled onions, pickles, lettuce, tomato. BEST BURGER EVER.

Yes it’s better than Whataburger. There I said it.

The closest Memphis comparison would be Dyer’s double double. Thin patties, greasy, cheesy. OH SO GOOD.

The Downtown Neighborhood Association has announced its first meeting of 2023 on Tuesday, January 24 at 5:30. Location TBD but you can expect

• Downtown development updates
• Mud Island updates
• Safety updates
• Downtown news

I’ll update you when there’s word on the location.

Penny’s Tigers are in Orlando tonight to play UCF. 6 PM Central. ESPN+ appears to be your only TV option.

I was sitting next to a couple at Blind Bear last night and they had the lasagna and they told the bartender it was the best they ever had. “It’s the sauce,” they commented. “It’s real Bolognese. Not just meat in tomato sauce like most places.”

My TV producer friend Shrek recently posted about Bluff City Tee where you can get all kinds of Grizzlies and Tigers themed shirts. I want the Hammer, Nail, Coffin, This Baby Is Over shirt. It’s a catchphrase of announcer Pete Pranica.

New rules have been proposed for horse-drawn carriages in Memphis. No whips to be used on the horses. Reduced hours they can work. Sound systems to be limited. No carriage rides when below 32 or above 95. Steps in the right direction.

That’s it for today. Back tomorrow.

WOW that college football playoff championship game was difficult to watch. Georgia blew out TCU as though it were a Week 1 game vs. Troy or Rice. I had no dog in the fight but I prefer to see a competitive game.

Tune into Facebook Live to hear The State of Downtown 2023 at 4 PM this Thursday. It will be presented by the Downtown Memphis Commission.

There will be an I Love Memphis Blog celebration Wednesday at Mollie Fontaine’s from 5 to 7 PM. They’ll be congratulating longtime blogger Holly Whitfield, who is leaving to become Digital Director at The Daily Memphian. They’ll also introduce the team that will be taking over content creation for that blog. RSVP is required. First 100 get two free drink tickets.

The Grizzlies remain tied for first in the West following a victory over San Antonio last night. Next up is ANOTHER home game vs. the Spurs Wednesday night at 7. Well that’s just weird scheduling. Saves on travel costs I guess. If I get a chance, I’ll ask my TV producer friend if he knows why the NBA does that.

Service industry friends: There’s a new website called Memphis Food Jobs. I see there are multiple positions available Downtown.

Loflin Yard will have a Service Industry New Year’s party Sunday the 15th from 6-10 PM.

• $3 Jameson
• $3 Bud Light draft
• Cornhole and beer pong tournaments at 7
• Champagne toast at 9:30

Be especially careful if you walk in the area of Main and MLK at night. There have been attempted robberies the past 3 nights: A guy on foot pointing out targets to two guys in cars, one a late 2000s black sedan. It’s an ideal area for that sort of thing: People are walking home/back to their hotels from Downtown core/Beale Street bars and there are no businesses open on that block where people would be keeping a watchful eye.

Feast & Graze will start doing a bottomless brunch February 19. $67 per adult, prepaid reservations only. Unlimited servings of

• Salmon BLT tacos
• Turkey & brie croissants
• Everything Bagel crostinis
• Whipped goat pancakes
• Ham & cheese paninis
• Steak & egg mini frittatas
• Tomato & chutney meatballs
• Chicken sausage skewers
• Caprese
• Yogurt parfait
• Fruit cup
• Shrimp Cobb salad
• Wine
• Beer
• Cocktails

Guys? This’d be a fabulous Valentine’s gift for your lady.

The 2023 schedule for Memphis 901 FC is out. The home opener is March 11.

Former Tiger DeAngelo Williams has been voted into the College Football Hall of Fame.

A co-working spot will open at 107 S. Main.

That’ll wrap it up for today. Back tomorrow with more news.

First things first: HEY BUTT SLUT #1 YOUR STUPID COWGIRLS LOST!!!!!

And they did NOT play the Washington Redskins as you told me yesterday. That team no longer exists. The final score was the Washington COMMANDERS 26, Dallas Cowgirls 6.

Don’t you have any sensitivity toward Indians? Meaning, feather Indians as opposed to dot Indians.

Yesterday at the Blind Bear we said goodbye to our brother Nappin Ass Nate. OMG it was beautiful. Charles you are a brilliant master of ceremonies. There were so many stories of how Nate cared about his friends, and how he went out of his way to be there for them.

I cried. A lot.

I didn’t get on the mic due to an accident I had earlier in the day, so I’ll say my piece here. Nate, I would compare you to Norm (from the TV show Cheers). But that’s not personal enough. That’s not Memphis enough.

Nate, you were the DILLON MOTHERFUCKIN BROOKS of the Blind Bear. You may not have been the flashiest, but in your own way, you were a badass and the glue that held our merry band of misfits together.

Love you forever, bro.

Shit, dog.

Someone bought a round of shots of Rumple for the room. OMG I hate Rumple but for Nate I did it.

And yes, I got my 4 mini corn dogs with honey mustard. I did not get to force-feed Butt Slut #1 a corn dog with mustard. She and I were totally gonna wrestle at the Bear (Nate would have loved it) but I fell and bloodied my nose on Union walking over from Bardog.

Yes, I’m OK. Thanks to my friends who ran and got napkins and bandages.

The Grizzlies are tied for first in the West following last night’s win over Utah.

All right. That’s all I’ve got this morning. Back tomorrow.