Author: paulryburn

Kooky Canuck is celebrating Memorial Day a day early, with 99 cent 12 ounce Bud Light drafts all day today. Kooky Canuck is a place that combines the best of Canada (great food and drinks) with the best of Memphis (weather warm enough to wear tube tops). They’re on Second, across from the Peabody.

Squeal Street BBQ is one of the most successful Patio Porker teams in the history of BBQ Fest. In my opinion, the secret to their success is their adaptability. They’re able to spot what works and quickly implement it.

So, this year my team The Moody Ques added a new option for team attire: Tube tops. Within days Squeal Street had said, “Wow that’s a really good idea” and this happened:

I’ve thought for a while that Squeal Street should write a book on how to run a BBQ team. I’m not exaggerating – they really should, because Amazon makes it easy for any author to self-publish these days. If they do it, maybe the book will contain a chapter on tube tops.

Contrary to popular belief, my life Downtown is not all about the bars. Sometimes it’s just about relaxing with friends. Yesterday was one of those days. Those turn out to be the best days. I was invited to a “kiddie pool party” on the roof of Barton Flats, a way to watch the Sunset Symphony fireworks without dealing with the crowds at Tom Lee Park. As I headed down there, I stopped by City Market for PBR. The smallest they had was an 18-pack, so I went with it.

Frank enjoying a hot dog in the pool

Chad: “Boys, why do you keep squirting my pee-pee with water guns?”

Otto (far right) explaining to us how WordPress the company works. Otto is something of a celebrity in the WordPress world and we were commenting how to us, Otto is just a normal guy. Did we call Otto normal last night? May need to re-think that.

Barton Flats sunset over the foot of Mud Island

About 10 minutes later

I knew Saturday night in the Downtown core would be a mess, with thousands of people swarming into the bars when Sunset Symphony let out. Early in the day I hatched a plan to escape south to Max’s Sports Bar. However, I never made it because my friends had an even better plan: Game night at their condo at Barton Flats. I really didn’t miss being out at all.

We played Taboo, a game where your teammates have to guess a word, based on descriptions you give. The five most common words associated with your word are listed and you can’t use them in the descriptions. So when my turn came, I was given the word “BARE.” My clue: “If you pull down a tube top, the breasts are this.” There are games I have a natural talent for (pool, poker) and games I will eternally suck at (darts, cornhole). Taboo seems to be in the first category.

The game broke up at 1:15, just in time for me to make last call at the Saucer. I shut down the Saucer, then the Blind Bear. I easily could have lost my Bear mayorship yesterday, except my competition was on the same rooftop I was. To bed at 3:20, up at 9:20, time to do it again. Skipping brunch at the Majestic this morning, because our friend in town from Mexico is cooking paella today. I’ll hit the Saucer at 12 then head over there.

I never got around to finishing my BBQ Fest wrapup, so I never told you about this, but one of my very favorite authors was in our team booth last Saturday. Tim Ferriss wrote a book called The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich. It has many valuable lessons, but if I could summarize them in one word, it would be this: “Simplify.”

Not long after BBQ Fest, I received an update that I need to run a software upgrade on all my Amazon storefront sites by May 30. The upgrades aren’t hard, taking about 5 minutes apiece – but I have 110 storefronts. That’s a real pain. After thinking about ways to simplify my life, I’ve decided that it’s time for the storefronts to go away. I have an FTP client open and am deleting them as I type this.

For those not aware what I’m talking about, I am an Amazon affiliate partner. About 5 years ago I started creating storefronts for product lines on Amazon, including a tube top store. People would shop in my storefronts, put items in their cart, and then get transferred to Amazon to check out. In the stores’ heyday I could make as much as 8% commission per sale (it varied based on monthly volume). It was never full-time level income but it was a nice little boost on the side. When the startup I was working for laid me off in October 2008, the stores’ income helped keep me going until I found a new place to land 5 months later. They kept me from having to file for unemployment, and they allowed me to stay free until I found the job I wanted, rather than accepting the first thing that came along.

However, the stores were a hassle to maintain. Software upgrades were a nightmare. I didn’t keep the stores up as well as I should, search optimizing them and removing dead links and all that stuff. Plus I had to deal with GoDaddy renewals all the time. And it was a real pain to round up all the related expenses come tax time. If I didn’t have a full-time job I could have run them properly. But I didn’t have time, and by 2012 the income from the stores didn’t justify the amount of work I had to do to keep them going.

So I’m killing them. You may notice that the stores have been removed from this blog’s sidebars. As I said, simplify. I always thought they made the blog look kinda cluttered, but I needed the link juice.

All right. It’s early in the morning. Time to go buy Mountain Dew and figure out a plan for today.

(By the way: That link to the book is an Amazon affiliate link. Which is rather ironic given the subject of this post, I guess.)

 

Nikki shows how it’s done at the Silly Goose on a Friday night.

Where’s YOUR tube top? ‘Tis the season. Fa la la la la…

But one very special month has 41 days this year.

It’s that time of year once again. Welcome to TUBE TOP MONTH. This month is all about the promotion of tube tops as the greatest women’s fashion item ever. To celebrate, every post on this blog will either contain a photo of a tube top, or a mention of tube tops, no matter how irrelevant to the rest of the content tube tops are.

“But wait,” you may ask, “it isn’t the start of the month.”

True. When Tube Top Month began in 2005, it was the month of June. However, two years ago, a very wise reader suggested that I expand Tube Top Month to include the Memorial Day and Independence Day holidays/holiday weekends. That sounded like an excellent suggestion. So, this year Tube Top Month begins at 5 PM on Friday, May 25 and ends at 11:59 PM on Wednesday, July 4. 41 days of tube tops!

Tube top dresses count too. As long as there are no straps, it’s acceptable. I’m not using the strict 1970s definition of tube tops, because those can be hard to find.

Help support Tube Top Month. Spread the word, or better yet, wear one yourself!

Tomorrow is Sunset Symphony, the final event of Memphis in May. Like Music Fest and BBQ Fest, it is held in Tom Lee Park. For those new to Memphis, let me provide a brief description of what is going on. Most people bring blankets to claim their space on the park’s lawn, and the earlier you get there, the better a space you can find. Unlike the other MiM events, you can bring coolers or picnic baskets, and yes there can be booze in them. However, you cannot bring bottles in paper or plastic grocery bags due to danger of breakage. See the event’s FAQ for a complete list of what you can and cannot bring. If you don’t feel like bringing food or beverages, there will be plenty of vendors.

Gates open at 2. Schedule:
4:30 Company D
6:00 Air Show
7:30 Memphis Symphony Orchestra and the Bar-Kays
9:00 Fireworks

Tickets are $8 in advance, $9 at the gate. Keep in mind that it will be sunny and VERY HOT tomorrow, so dress appropriately, wear sunscreen, and drink lots of water.

I’d say that I definitely plan to go, but most years when I say that it turns into “ah screw it I’ll just hang out at the Saucer” by mid-afternoon.

In other news, there is a bake sale planned for Shannon Parker. She was critically injured by a hit-and-run driver as she was leaving Celtic Crossing Sunday, May 20. The sale will be Saturday, June 23 at Colonial Park United Methodist Church, 5330 Park. Shannon does not have insurance so anything that can be done to raise money helps. This Flyer article has more info on the bake sale and other ways to help Shannon. She is a friend of mine so I’d appreciate support from all my readers.

There’s progress in the case, by the way: This morning the police located the vehicle involved in the hit-and-run. No charges yet though.

Congratulations to the Slider Inn in Midtown, winner of Andy Wise’s 2nd annual chili cook-off. It is owned by Aldo who also owns last year’s winner, Bardog.

The I Want Local Food website is now live. Click the link if you’re interested in buying local food, or if you are a seller.

The Daily News reports that three Memphis BBQ restaurants are featured in the June issue of Southern Living. A&R Bar-B-Que, The Bar-B-Q Shop, and Payne’s Bar-B-Que made “The South’s Best Butts” list.

Now this is what I call a sandwich.

Plans for tonight: Expect another post between 5:30 and 6:00 with a big announcement. After that, I’ll hang around Downtown, probably hit Trolley Night at some point. I had an invite to Zoo Brew but turned it down; as a general rule, the more likely RSVP Magazine is to show up at a beer fest, the less likely I am. Anyway, I’ll be out Downtown tonight. If you’re having trouble figuring out what to wear, check my blog this evening for a suggestion.

There was no time for a lunchtime post today because we had a departmental lunch at Memphis BBQ Company, where the following exchange occurred:

Marketing consultant: “So I hear you have a popular blog. Are you the foodie?”

Our CEO: “No, he does bars.”

Very quick look at outdoor parties happening tonight: Garry Goin and G3 play the Peabody. The Prime Cut Band plays the Madison. Roaring 20s party with Deborah Swiney on the patio of Bleu.

Congrats to the Grizzlies’ Tony Allen on being named to the NBA All-Defensive First Team. WELL DESERVED.

BET will have an event Sunday at 11 at Mud Island River Park. They’re looking for young aspiring artists for a contest. In the first round, contestants will sing in front of judges. Contestants who make it to the second round will be able to record in a state of the art studio that will be on site at the event. Winners will be invited to attend the BET Awards. Photos from two previous events in Philadelphia and D.C. can be found here.

MemphisWeather.net forecast for Sunset Symphony Saturday is for “near record highs.” Like most years, I’m undecided whether to go. On one hand, it will be HOT down there. On the other hand, the hot weather will draw lots of tube tops to the park, and it will be Tube Top Month by the time they open the gates.

All right. It’s hot outside. Time to find a nice air conditioned bar. If anyone wants to start Tube Top Month a day early, there is nothing wrong with that at all.

WrestlingINC.com reports that TNA Wrestling will hold an event in Memphis. The annual BaseBrawl event will happen at AutoZone Park Saturday, July 14. In addition to regular tickets, there will also be VIP tickets for sale that get you invited to a special meet and greet. Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, and TNA World champ Bobby Roode are among the top stars listed to appear, as well as the “Knockouts” female division. Not sure if that means the hottest woman on Earth, Velvet Sky, will appear in Memphis, but I hope so. Tickets go on sale on the Redbirds’ website on June 1.

Many people have wanted to try Bardog’s lobster sandwich which is on its brunch menu, but can never make it Downtown for Saturday or Sunday brunch. Today’s your chance. The lobster sandwich is on the specials board at Bardog today. The sandwich comes on buttered Texas toast with bacon, avocado, tomato, red pepper, and spicy mayo. (Edit: Sold out)

If you’re thinking about running the LuvMudIsland mud race/obstacle course next month on Saturday, June 22, today would be a good day to buy your entry. There is a LuvMudIsland Groupon today. Two options: $55 for a two-person team, or $99 for a four-person team. Both are 50% off.

Not a show I would personally go to, but I guess it’s Downtown news: Justin Bieber will play the FedExForum November 1. The Biebs will make for some interesting people-watching in Downtown Memphis the day after Halloween.

My stomach has finally recovered from BBQ Fest, so it’s time to go abuse it some more at Taco Bell. I’ll be out somewhere tonight, not sure where yet.