Journey to North Korea

Thanks to the people who sent compliments about my “Kim Jong-Wil” post this morning.  Funny, as I was in the process of typing it, I came across a Time Magazine article written by a journalist who had snuck into North Korea, the land of “Dear Leader” Kim Jong-il.

Part 1 of the article

Part 2 of the article

Photo gallery

There’s a part 3, but it hasn’t been published yet.  I’ll link to it when it appears.

The journalist’s experiences were pretty consistent with ones I had read of another American who visited North Korea.  I read Controversy Creates Cash, the biography of Eric Bischoff, the man who ran World Championship Wrestling, on my iPhone’s Kindle app recently.  In the spring of 1995, he got the chance to take his wrestlers to North Korea (not with the blessing of the US government, but that didn’t stop him).  They had to stop and place flowers at a statue of the late “Great Leader”/”Eternal President” Kim Il-sung, and their rooms were bugged, as one wrestler found out when he called home and complained about pretty much everything in North Korea.  The next day his room was torn apart.

They had an interpreter/guide who was assigned to stay with them at all times.  However, the guide didn’t know that Bischoff liked an early-morning run, and he snuck out of the hotel by himself at 6:30 AM.  All the North Koreans were headed to work in drab blue and gray suits, none of them over 5’5″, stunted by decades of famine.  Here was Bischoff, the only foreigner most of them probably ever saw, running through the streets in yellow and red sweatclothes at 5’11” and 200 pounds.  To most of the North Koreans it was like seeing Godzilla running through the streets.  When Bischoff got back to the hotel he was sternly warned to never, ever do that again.  He and the wrestlers then were taken on a tour of a war memorial, told it was to remember the 52,000 North Koreans who were slaughtered by savage Americans.  Their reactions were filmed to use in future propaganda.

Um yeah I don’t think I ever want to visit North Korea.

I have a meeting out east after work, so I won’t be able to defend my poker championship at Calhoun’s tonight.  I see that Snozberry is playing the Saucer tonight… should be back Downtown by the time they take the stage at 9:30, so I’ll probably turn up to catch their first set.

Kim Jong-Wil

Former Mayor Herenton’s recent actions and public statements have led me to compare his mental state to that of another well-known leader.  Therefore, I’d like to offer these predictions if King Willie wins the special election and is re-elected mayor of Memphis:

January 2, 2010:  The Mayor’s office will issue a proclamation that Mayor Herenton is to be refered to as the “Dear Leader” of Memphis from this date forward.

January 13, 2010:  The Mayor’s office will report that Herenton has the supernatural ability to be in several places at one time.  Therefore, he will continue to run for Congress, claiming that he will be able to hold both offices simultaneously.  Furthermore, he will petition the school board to remove Dr. Kriner Cash as superintendent and reinstate him, so that he can hold three offices (and be paid three salaries) at the same time.

March 9, 2010:  Herenton will install undercover police officers at a variety of positions around the city to keep watch on bloggers who have spoken out against him.

March 15, 2010:  The news will report that Herenton routinely hits four holes-in-one in an 18-hole round of golf.  (The odds of hitting one hole-in-one in 18 holes are approximately 5,000 to 1.)

April 3, 2010:  Unknownst to me, one of the new bartenders at the Saucer is an undercover cop working under Herenton’s orders.  When I ask for an extra lime for my Dos Equis Special Lager, she will arrest me for panhandling.  I’ll be thrown in jail on $1,000,000 bond with an arraignment date of January 17, 2026.

August 9, 2010:  The start of a new school year.  Schoolchildren will be required to sing a new song, “No Memphis Without You,” a song specially composed for Mayor Herenton, at the start of every day.  Sample lyrics:

Our future and hope depend on you
People’s fate depends on you, Dear Mayor Willie Herenton!
We cannot live without you
Our city cannot exist without you!

September 2010:  Visitors to the Brooks Museum report that paintings on the walls are all themed around glorification of the mayor.  One typical painting, Roses for Herenton, shows a group of schoolchildren presenting a bouquet of roses to the mayor as they gaze at him in admiration.

May 2011:  Crime figures for 2010 show that Memphis now has the crime rate of Washington DC, New Orleans, and Miami combined.

July 20, 2011:  A storm with straight-line winds similar to “Hurricane Elvis” damages the city, downing trees, destroying homes and cars, and knocking out power.

July 21, 2011:  The Mayor’s office will issue a statement that Mayor Herenton is believed to be able to control the weather based on his mood.  Therefore, he must have been unhappy with Memphis the previous day.  In order to appease him, a $100-a-plate gala will be organized, and every citizen of Memphis required to attend.

August 13, 2011:  The gala will raise $66,965,100.  The $65 million that is left over after expenses will be presented as a gift to the mayor.

March 2012:  In celebration of Women’s History Month, Herenton’s baby mamas will be held up to the city as examples of all that is good and feminine.

October 2013:  The fountain will be removed from Court Square to make room for a 100-foot-tall statue of the mayor.  The Lincoln-American Tower and the Porter Building will be razed to give citizens a better view of the statue.  Statues of the mayor will also be erected in Overton Park, Audubon Park, and other locations around the city.

2016:  A popular news magazine will publish its rankings of “Safest Places to Live.”  Memphis will tie with Somalia for dead last.

November 23, 2022:  A week after Herenton passes away, the Mayor’s office will issue a proclamation that Herenton has been named “Eternal Mayor” of Memphis.  From that point on the position of deputy mayor will be the highest-ranking active executive position in the city.

Tue update: Friends of St. Jude, PBR at Ground Zero, cigars, Bardog, and more

I got an e-mail today from a fairly new group called “Friends of St. Jude.” They are a group of young professionals who believe in “networking for a cause,” the cause being St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. They hold monthly events for members, and for non-members who want to come check them out. This month’s happy hour is at South of Beale, this Thursday, August 20, from 6 to 8 PM. There’s a $5 cover, $10 for non-members. SOB will run specials for attendees: $3 drafts, $4 wells, and $4 house red and white wine. If interested in attending e-mail fosj.memphis@gmail.com or visit the Facebook group “Friends of St. Jude – Memphis.” More info about the group available on their website.

I also got an e-mail from Nat who is the new GM of Ground Zero. She says a lot of good things are in the works, and after I talk to her in person I’ll have details to come. However, one piece of good news I already know about, that I think Downtowners will like… PBR on tap $2 all the time, 7 days a week.

The Madison Hotel is starting a monthly cigar series. The next Smoking Up High: High Class, Low Key event will be Tuesday, September 8, from 5:30 to 7:30 PM, on the Madison rooftop. There will be selections from Havana Cigar Mix Emporium, a cash bar with sophisticated drinks, and a special menu with distinctive tapas and small place. Smokers can bring their own, or purchase from the selection on the rooftop. There is no cost to attend, but reservations are limited because of the rooftop’s small size. Call (901) 333-1224 to make reservations. The series will continue through November. Cigars? Wonder if Pete will be there.

Oh. Speaking of which… about 1 PM Sunday I showed up at the Saucer for Sunday Fun Day, and Pete was there with a big ol’ smile on his face, bragging that he had won three games of pool in a row. I dropped a set of quarters in the table, and about 10 minutes later he was saying

petepool

Later in the afternoon we had a rematch, and after I left him with 6 balls on the table, he was saying

petepool

Before I went to the Saucer on Sunday I had brunch at Bardog Tavern, and the lobster sandwich was every bit as good as I’d heard. The hash browns on the side were excellent too.

In other Bardog news… Aldo is already doing the $3 “ladies can drink what you want” happy hour from 5 to 7 weekdays, but he’s decided to give the guys a little something too… $3 Buffalo Trace during happy hour. Both sexes can get the Original Memphis Slider for $1.50 during those times.

Additional news on the September 20 Bardog anniversary party… seating for 64 outside in the alley, and the Underdog Room and the upstairs bar will be open too. The Jagermeister girls will be there from 2 to 4. There’s also something in their newsletter about lap dances from Demitrie and Jay, but I hope that’s a typo.

Congrats to South on Beale… just checked their Facebook page and saw that they scored 100 on their health inspection at the bar, and a 96 in the kitchen.  They’re celebrating with $3 Kirin and Sam Adams Summer until they run out.

Time to head to trivia… we should have a very good group there tonight, looking forward to it.

Circa’s new website, anniversary party

Circa by John Bragg has a new website that you can check out here. Features include new, easier reservation sign-ups; subscriptions to their e-mail newsletter; ability to purchase gift certificates online; photo galleries; and more.

I posted last week about their August 27 second anniversary party. I’ve now learned that the proceeds from the party will benefit Help the Least of These, a charity which helps the extreme poor in Africa, primarily in Kenya and Uganda. There will be a silent art auction and live charity auction, and you’ll also be able to make a donation at the door.

Party will feature complimentary beer and wine and hors d’oeuvres from 6 until 8 PM that night. Free food? Wonder if the Nuh-Uh Girl will show up.

There will be a special dinner with three course menu available at 8 – limited seating though, so be sure to call for reservations. Dinner menu will include a Circa House Salad, your choice of entree (Beef Tenderloin, Trout Grenobloise, or Roast Ashley Farms Chicken) and choice of dessert (Creme Brulee, Lemon Tart, or Il Diplomatico). There will also be a cash bar with happy hour prices throughout the night.

That’s all for now… I’ll be at trivia tonight at 7… I’ve been told that Pete the Trivia Guy is not feeling well, so Mikey the Substitute Trivia Guy will be calling it.

Couple more Elvis pub crawl updates – BBC TV show, Food Bank

Couple more updates about last weekend’s Stumbling Elvis event…

I learned that the TV show that filmed us on Beale Street was the BBC’s Around the World in 80 Days. They had us pose for a shot outside Silky’s. Not sure when it will air.

I also learned the pub crawl raised $280 in donations for the Mid-South Food Bank. However, the Food Bank gets $3.70 in purchasing power for every dollar donated, so we effectively purchased $1,036 of food for Memphians in need.

If you missed the pub crawl but want to help out the Food Bank, here’s a link to their donation form.

Pictures still to come… been lazy about getting them off the camera.

Mon update: Phoenix luau, catering, Eclectic eye contest and more

The Phoenix Club will hold their 2009 Luau this Friday night, the 21st, at Minglewood Hall from 8 PM to 1 AM. Entertainment by Conch Nation, and sponsors Celtic Crossing, Itta Bena, Newby’s, Owen Brennan’s, Bardog, D. Canale, and Bosco’s will provide hors d’oeuvres and drinks. Tickets are $50, but this year they’re offering a special VIP ticket for $100 that gets you access to a top-notch setup including private bar, private bathrooms, and 4 skyboxes overlooking the stage. VIP access is limited to 65 guests. The Phoenix Club’s parties always benefit a great charity, the Boys and Girls Clubs of Memphis. You can buy tickets here.

In the news: The owner of Automatic Slim’s and Dyer’s has started a catering business.

The Electic Eye eyeglass boutique is having another eyeglass makeover contest. Visit their website and upload a photo of yourself in old glasses, and you could win the makeover. Winner will be announced at a red-carpet reception at their store on Houston Levee on September 3. If you upload your pic between now and August 30, you get a 10% discount on your next purchase.

Sorry for the lack of posts for the past two days… been recovering from the weekend. The Stumbling Elvis pub crawl was a blast. Thanks to the Flying Saucer, Blue Fin, Silky’s and the Red Rooster for having us. About 50 Elvises turned up… we filled a 50 gallon tub half full with cans for the Food Bank, and there was also a can in which cash donations were collected to give to them. Outside Silky’s we were filmed for a show which will air on BBC.

We had all kinds of Elvis, ranging from ’50s leather Elvis to 1961 Blue Hawaii Elvis to 1970s white jumpsuit Elvis. Some people only had the glasses and sideburns, but we only announced the pub crawl a couple of weeks in advance, so many people didn’t have time to go find costumes. There’s a very good chance this event will be back next year… Mike King and I discussed it and next year we’re going to require participation from those who come with us, meaning a Food Bank donation and something at least resembling an attempt at a costume.

Photos to come. I have a few other posts in Drafts that need to go up soon too.

Elvis pub crawl tonight

badelvis

Tonight’s the night when a bunch of us are going to dress up like Elvis and wander from bar to bar Downtown, in honor of the King.  We’re also collecting cans and cash donations for the Food Bank.  The running order is

7 PM – meet at Flying Saucer
8 PM – leave Saucer, walk to Blue Fin
8:10  – Blue Fin
8:45 – Leave Blue Fin.  From here we will walk to Beale, maybe through the Peabody.
9:15 – Arrive at Silky’s
10:00 – Leave Silky’s, parade down Beale
10:30 – Arrive at Red Rooster
11:15 – Leave Rooster
11:30ish – Back at Saucer

Be sure to bring cash to pay your bar tabs, to avoid the hassle of having to close dozens of credit card tabs at the same time when we leave a bar.  Also be sure to bring your ID – you’ll need it to get on Beale.  The clubs listed have agreed to waive cover for people who are part of the pub crawl and are who are dressed up as Elvis.  The Saucer will have a tub where you can place your donated canned goods for the Food Bank; if you arrive to the pub crawl late, please stop by the Saucer to drop off your donation before meeting up.

If you’re on Facebook search for the event “Stumbling Elvis.”