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One of my longest post titles ever. Newsy Monday.

I hate starting posts with bad news, but this time I have to: Easy Way is closing its Downtown store. The grocery at Main and Jefferson has been a popular place to get produce and canned goods for years. However, Easy Way has decided that much of their core base has moved away from Downtown. This leaves City Market as pretty much our only place to get fresh produce without having to get in a car and drive.

The Brass Door has a couple of new things going on this week. Every Tuesday, starting tomorrow, they will have a 2 for 1 special on their fish and chips after 5 PM. Those chips are probably the best fries in town.

This Friday night, the Brass Door will have a beer bust with Heineken and Yuengling for $10 beginning at 5 PM. When I first read that, I thought, “5 is kind of an odd time to start a beer bust,” but then I remembered we have law students down here, so that should work.

Beale Street Tap Room has started carrying the NFL Sunday ticket. If the game you want to watch is not available on the networks, the Tap Room can get it on one of their HDTVs. Just tell the bartender what you want to watch, and they’ll turn it on for you.

Now and then people ask me “Should I get a Kindle Fire or an iPad?”, knowing I own both. This comparison by The Daily is a really good answer. For certain people, the Fire is better; for others, the iPad is the way to go. It depends on what you want to do with your tablet.

Yesterday, about 8 of us met for Sunday brunch at Texas de Brazil. As always, we stuffed ourselves, first at the salad bar and then on the meats. Of course, I got a bowl of lobster bisque and dipped my bacon in it. I’ve decided that of the meats, the garlic sirloin is my favorite. I like it even better than the house sirloin, also known as picanha.

So, we filled up and were ready to waddle out of there. The waiter asked if we were interested in dessert, and pretty much nobody was. “Well, if you eat lunch or dinner with us, the dessert is extra,” the waiter said. “But it’s included in the price of brunch.” WELL THEN! We found room. I had the creme brulee, which was delicious.

Afterward I walked over to the Flying Saucer, where I noticed they had new scoreboards for darts.

These are very nice. They handle most of the popular games, and they eliminate the need for chalk. I’m horrible at darts, but now I kind of want to play a game so I can try out these boards.

After the Saucer, I visited the Silly Goose, where it was the BEST DAY EVER for reasons I won’t get into on the blog. A couple of people from the Squeal Street BBQ team showed up there. They had just returned from the Smokin’ Aces competition in Tunica, where they won first place in People’s Choice for the second year in a row. They also won awards for tomato and mustard sauces. Congratulations to them!

At 6:30 I played poker at the Blind Bear. When people started getting eliminated, we reduced the number of tables from three to two. My table was the one that broke up, and Jamie told me I could sit at whichever active table I wanted. I decided to sit at the one Bee was sitting at, because she had a tube top on.

I made it to the final table and ended up placing fifth. I’ll play again tonight at the Silly Goose, where Muruako hosts an 8:30 game. Before that I’ll hit Pint Nite at the Saucer.

Free or half-off admission at many Downtown museums. Participants:

Belz Museum of Asian and Judaic Art
Half-price General Admission
Special Events:
– Two screenings of the Chinese film “Confucius”
– 10% off on all sales in the gift shop.
belzmuseum.org

Center for Southern Folklore
Free Admission
Special Events:
“50 Years with Elvis,” a retrospective of art created in honor of The King by Nashville artist Betty Harper.
southernfolklore.com

Cotton Museum
Free Admission
Special Events:
– Guided tours, hands-on demonstrations and storytellers all day.
memphiscottonmuseum.org

Elmwood Cemetery
Free self-guided audio tours from 8a.m. until noon
elmwoodcemetery.org

Fire Museum of Memphis
Buy one Admission and get one of equal or lesser value free
firemuseum.com

Jimmy Ogle Tours
Free City Tours
10:00a.m. Union Avenue Manhole Cover & History Tour (begin at the Cotton Museum)
11:00a.m. Court Square & Surroundings (begin at Court Square)
12:00p.m. Mississippi River (begin at Confederate Park)
jimmyogle.com

Memphis Railroad and Trolley Museum
Half price Admission
mrtm.org

Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum
Buy one Admission and get one free
memphisrocknsoul.org

Mississippi River Museum at Mud Island River Park
Buy one Admission and get one of equal or lesser value free
Special Events:
60 minute Guided Riverwalk Tours of the Riverwalk model, 11:30am, 1:30pm, 3:30pm
www.mudisland.com

National Ornamental Metal Museum
Free Admission
Special Events:
– Blacksmith demonstration at 2:30pm and a foundry demonstartion at 3pm.
– A special exhibition of work by Master Metalsmith Eleanor Moty, best-known for bringing the photetching process into the field of metalsmithing.metalmuseum.org

Slave Haven Underground Railroad Museum
Buy one Admission and get one free
Special Events:
– Artists’ market and live music.
slavehavenundergroundrailroadmuseum.org

Stax Museum of American Soul Music
Buy one Admission and get one free
Special Events:
– Wattstax The Living Word: Special 40th Anniversary Exhibit is on display
staxmuseum.com

Sun Studio
Free Admission and Tours
sunstudio.com

W.C Handy Museum
Buy one Admission and get one free
wchandymemphis.org

Woodruff-Fontaine House
Buy one General Admission and Tour and get the second half-price
Special Events:
– “Mourning Memphis” on display, featuring mourning rituals of the late 19th and early 20th centuries and highlighting the Yellow Fever epidemic of 1878.
woodruff-fontaine.com/tours

So, yesterday after work I was getting ready to go out. I checked Facebook and Twitter, and saw several reports that the Flying Saucer was full of UT orange. Not prison orange worn by the Tennessee Vols, but burnt orange worn by the Texas Longhorns.

Uh-oh, I thought. Being an Arkansas fan who grew up in Little Rock watching Southwest Conference football, hating Texas has been bred into me. But this week I find myself in a conundrum: Texas is traveling to Oxford to play Ole Miss, and I can’t stand Ole Miss either.

I walked down to the Saucer, and the place was indeed full of Texas fans. But you know what? They weren’t loud, they weren’t obnoxious, they weren’t rowdy, they weren’t acting like a bunch of douches and skanks. The Saucer girls weren’t coming over to complain to me how annoying they are, and what bad tippers they are. The Texas fans, from everything I observed, were friendly, polite, and respectful. This is the exact opposite of the way Ole Miss fans behave when they come to town.

It was a real eye-opener about the University of Texas.

Plus, there’s the fact that U. Texas is located in one of the best cities in America: Austin. Ole Miss is in Oxford. Need I say more?

So, the decision whom to root for tonight isn’t hard. Hook ’em Horns! Hope you beat the piss out of Ole Piss.

Last night I went to Max’s Sports Bar for their Thursday night poker tournament. They use the Buzztime game system, with one TV tuned into Buzztime trivia and another tuned to poker. You use wireless boxes to play either game. After folding a poker hand, I glanced over at trivia. The question was,

What is eaten on New Year’s Day in the southeast U.S. for good luck?

The five possible answers appeared on the monitor. Note option 4.

The folks at Buzztime, headquartered in Carlsbad, California in the U.S., think that we all eat possum down here in the South. JED! JETHRO! VITTLES IS READY!

What do we actually eat down here? Well, my friend Billy ordered the school lunchroom pizza at Max’s last night. You can get it topped with extra cheese and bacon. Billy did, and this is what came out of the kitchen.

Wow! Billy’s cup runneth over! Well, not his cup, but his pizza. Then again, the way Michele pours a PBR, his cup runneth over too.

Monday night Silly Goose poker host Muruako came in to play. He got there too late to get one of the 10 Buzztime boxes, but while he was there he told me about the new Wednesday night poker night at the Double J Smokehouse and Saloon across the street. He will be hosting, and the start time will be 8:30 PM. They’ll do it upstairs in the Loft Bar. Now I have to choose between trivia at Blind Bear, bingo at Brass Door, and poker at Double J on Wednesdays. So many good options! I guess it’s a high-class problem to have though… I could be in Cordova choosing between Applebee’s and Chili’s.

I came in second at poker. Who taught Kitty how to be such a good heads-up player? By the time I figured out what she was doing, she had so many chips that I couldn’t fight back. Congratulations to her on the win.

Afterward I walked back to the core, where I ended up hanging out with Flying Saucer alumni on the patio.

Brittney, in the orange: “PAUL, IF YOU TOOK A PIC OF MY THONG, I SWEAR I’M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS.” Nice to see that Brittney still has the same sweet demeanor she had when she was bartending the Saucer.

Tonight is the annual showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Orpheum. They sell bags of props that can be used for audience participation. I went to this two years ago and it is a lot of fun to watch rolls of toilet paper being thrown all over the theater. I bet cleanup staff hates this night the most. More info here.

Random link I found that may be of interest to foodies: An archive of hotel restaurant menus from the 1850s and 1860s.

If you have a Kindle Fire or Android device, the Amazon appstore has Tetris for free today.

I’m looking forward to a fun night… sure is nice to have next-door neighbors who have parties. I’ll probably pre-game at the Saucer about 7 for a couple of beers. Happy weekend everyone!

Best Memphis Burger Fest made a couple of tweets this morning with more information about the festival. There will be several live bands, including Burn the Sun, Grand Theft Auto Memphis, Saved by Zero – the ’80s Tribute Band, and Denise and the Sofa Kings. The burger competition is open to anyone with a grill, but several restaurants have chosen to compete, including Bleu, Patrick’s, Owen Brennan’s, Cafe Eclectic, and BGR the Burger Joint. The festival is Sunday, September 30 at Minglewood Hall and I’m one of the celebrity judges. Come on out and try some burgers!

Congrats to the Memphis Redbirds, who renewed their affiliation with the St. Louis Cardinals through 2014.

Also congrats to the City of Memphis, which scored a $5 million federal grant to keep homeless families together in temporary housing. Right now, in many cases the men have to go to one shelter and women and children to another.

The Fire Museum has added a new exhibit. It’s called “9-1-1 Safety Theatre” and will teach kids and adults when it’s proper to call 9-1-1. For example, it is not proper to call 9-1-1 because you need an ambulance to give you a ride to the convenience store so you can buy a beer. No kidding, that happens. The Fire Museum is on Adams Avenue just east of Main.

Another poker night is being added Downtown. I’ve been informed that Double J Smokehouse and Saloon is adding a Wednesday night poker game. I wasn’t sent a lot of details, but will find out more before the first game. If you want to play poker Downtown, here’s the complete list of where you can do it. All these games are free to play.

• Sunday: Blind Bear, 6:30 PM, hosted by Michael Bean
• Monday: Silly Goose, 8:30 PM, hosted by Muruako
• Tuesday: Blind Bear, 8:00 PM, hosted by Jamie
• Wednesday: Bardog, 7:30 PM, hosted by Poker Jon; and Double J, time and host TBA
• Thursday: Max’s Sports Bar, 7:00 PM, on Buzztime monitors and boxes

I was late for trivia last night because I wanted to cover a contest happening at the Flying Saucer. It was Sam Adams Oktoberfest glass night, and they had a special contest. They had these huge steins, which when filled with water weighed 5 pounds. There was a contest to see who could hold the stein with their arm straight out, no bending, the longest. Winners in the men’s and women’s division would advance to the semifinals on Monday, then the finals next Wednesday, with winners getting a trip to Munich for Oktoberfest. Hmmm, doesn’t Oktoberfest start in, like, 10 days? Gonna be kind of difficult for the winner to get time off work, and a passport if they don’t have one, in such a short period of time. I brought this up to one of the Saucer girls, who commented, “Yeah, the winner’s going to have to be someone with no life and no job.” Here are a couple of photos I took.

So, a little after 8, I walked over to trivia at the Blind Bear. As I passed the Silly Goose, I noticed that the bar had made another change: They have replaced the iron tables and chairs outside with wood benches. That seems like a good move – will probably add an extra 10 seats to the Goose’s Covered patio.

Our trivia team was rather depleted this week for various reasons: Work, a concert nearby, Wednesday night kickball. However, the five of us who were there managed to pull out a first-place win to add $50 Bear Bucks to our coffers. We never seem to win Best Team Name though. Every week the best name is announced, and most weeks I think, “God, that name sucks,” and then I realize we couldn’t come up with anything better.

Stuff going on tonight: Deering and Down play Bleu at 7:00, $10 cover; sports trivia night with Kevin Cerrito at the Green Beetle, 8:00 PM; DJ Cody at the Silly Goose, 10 PM.

Outta here for lunch. Probably going to play poker at Max’s tonight.

Fireball Whisky is a cinnamon-flavored whisky that has become very popular Downtown in the past two years. If you want to hear about local Fireball events, join the FIREBALL WHISKY Memphis group on Facebook. All you have to do is request to join and if you’re over 21, local Fireball brand ambassador Clay Thompson will approve you. As a group member you’ll hear about opportunities to party with the Fireball folks and possibly score some sweet Fireball swag. If anyone in Oxford is reading this, the Fireball people are heading your way tonight and tomorrow.

Great news this morning for a local legend. A CAT scan was run on Jerry Lawler and it found that The King did not suffer any brain damage from his heart attack on WWE Monday Night Raw this week. He remains hospitalized in Montreal and it is uncertain when he will be able to return home. Family members, including his son Brian who wrestles as Brian Christopher, have crossed the Canadian border to be with him.

The King’s longtime broadcast partner, Jim Ross (J.R.), posted a commentary on Lawler’s heart attack and the Montreal Monday Night Raw. Well worth a read. Few people know the King as well as J.R.

There’s a sinkhole that has appeared in Tom Lee Park. Hope the city gets that fixed before BBQ Fest next year!

I forgot to blog about a couple of changes to the Silly Goose’s Monday night poker game. The start time has been moved back to 8:30 – as I found out Monday when I showed up at 8:55. They let people come in through the first four blind levels, though, so it was OK. For the third poker game in a row, I finished in third place. However, for purposes of league points, I came in second, because owner Daniel was one of the other two left and he can’t win his own prizes. But there was more, and I totally forgot about it until I checked my Instagram feed last night and found that I’d taken this photo:

They’re now awarding a $25 certificate for second place. First place has always received $50, but the second-place award is new. Combined with other poker winnings, that gives me a nice little tab at the Goose.

In other Goose news, their new 70″ projection TV has arrived.

That will be great for Monday Night Football and for their Sunday fantasy football league parties with happy hour domestic beers and $4 Fireball.

Last night I stopped by the bar at Bluefin, where current and former Saucer people nearly killed me with hot sake. The bartender, Daniel, remembered that I like extra limes in my Dos Equis Lager, despite having last served me a beer in August 2010. That’s really impressive.

Stuff going on tonight: Glass night at Flying Saucer featues a Sam Adams Oktoberfest stein, and they’re having a contest to see who can hold up the stein the longest with one arm, 7 PM; Tim “Badboy” Bachus at Bleu, 7 PM; poker with Poker Jon at Bardog, 7:30 PM; bingo with Diamond Dave at Brass Door, 7:30 PM; trivia with Charles at Blind Bear, 8 PM. I’ll be at the Bear, earning extra points for my team with my checkin on social media.

There are a few big events coming up this weekend. Longtime Memphians may know about these, but I want to mention them for those new to Memphis:

Smokin’ Aces BBQ Festival at Harrah’s Tunica Friday to Sunday. This festival is smaller than Memphis in May BBQ Fest, but the teams who compete tell me it’s more fun. If you know anyone on a team who will be there, this would be worth checking out.

The Cooper-Young Festival is this weekend. This is Memphis’ largest street festival, running about half a mile down South Cooper Street and a couple of blocks down Young Avenue. Hundreds of arts and craft vendors sell their work. There are bands on several stages. Plenty of food and beer vendors, and the restaurants and bars on the festival route often run specials as well. Cooper-Young is one of the most open-minded neighborhoods in the city, and there will be booths with info on the environment, women’s issues, gay/lesbian issues, homeless issues, etc. The festival is Saturday 9 AM to 7 PM. This is a different festival from the Cooper-Young Beerfest I’ve written about – that one is October 13.

Downtown Museum Day is this Saturday. 15 museums and attractions will offer free or half-price admission. Not only are the big names participating, but lesser-known museums like the W.C. Handy Museum, the Slave Haven Underground Railroad Museum, and the Fire Museum of Memphis. Lots of cool stuff to do, although I think they’d draw better crowds if they didn’t schedule this the day of C-Y Fest.

In other news: 16 groups have been selected for Park(ing) Day. On September 21 these groups will transform Downtown parking spaces into miniature parks, each with a different theme. Among the themes will be a life-sized Jenga game, a roller skating disco opera, a mini tennis park, and a bike maintenance and repair station.

The Daily News reports that new businesses are moving Downtown, including an antique/gift shop on Union and a public strategy planning business in Pembroke Square.

The company that makes White Cloud toilet paper is running two job fairs in DeSoto County today. They plan on doubling their Memphis-area workforce, and 100 positions are open. Pay is in the $13-17 range, not bad at all.

Jerry Lawler is said to be stable in a cardiac care unit after suffering a heart attack on WWE Monday Night Raw. His ex-wife Stacy “The Kat” Carter” tweeted that he had a stint and a balloon put in. Best wishes to the King as I close out this lunchtime blog post.

Just got home, checked Twitter, and discovered that Jerry “The King” Lawler collapsed on the set of WWE Monday Night Raw tonight. He was taken to the hospital. This was not a wrestling storyline.

Praying for you, King. If any one human being summarizes all the good there has been in Memphis the past 40 years, it has to be you.

If you checked this blog for a lunchtime post, you may have got a database error… or nothing at all. GoDaddy’s servers were hacked this morning, and it took the web hosting company several hours to get service working again. Below is the post that I typed into Notepad and saved at lunchtime, since I couldn’t get to my blog.

I want to start off this Monday blog post by dispelling a myth that was prevalent this past weekend. Time and time again I heard, “You don’t want to get within about a quarter mile of Beale Street on the night of Southern Heritage Classic. It’s scary and it’s not safe. You could get robbed, you could get shot, you could get run over trying to cross through the heavy traffic.”

Well, Saturday night I decided to see if this was really true. I left the Brass Door about 10:30 (the costume contest I was to judge kind of didn’t happen, at least not while I was there) and I walked south. I reached the Flying Saucer about 10 minutes later. The doors and garage windows were open and people were having a good time. So much for the rumor that all the bars within a block or two of Beale lock the customers in for their own safety about 10 PM. I walked past the Silly Goose and they were letting people in too. No problems at all. I stayed at the Saucer until they turned the lights on at 2:15 and never felt the least bit unsafe. Then I walked to the Blind Bear, had a beer there, and got home about 3. I saw no evidence that Downtown is any more unsafe during Southern Heritage Classic weekend than it is during any other busy weekend. Of course, I didn’t go on Beale Street itself, but then again I rarely go to Beale most weekends anyway.

Due to my late finish Saturday night, I didn’t get out until noon Sunday. I had a couple of new options, with both Max’s Sports Bar and the Blind Bear opening at noon for NFL games. Because of that, I decided to delay my Saucer visit until 5 and try something new. I pulled up Foursquare on my phone and saw the Sunday brunch crew checking into the Bear. That sounded like a plan to me, so in I went.

The Bear was a good call indeed. Sound was on for the game, but it wasn’t so loud that we couldn’t hear each other talk. Neither private room was in use for football viewing, so people might want to keep those in mind for future weeks. Cold PBR at the bar (can’t get that at the Saucer), great service, and damn Kalista can rock a black skirt. I ordered a BLT and pepper jack mac & cheese to try and clear out the cobwebs from Saturday night. About an hour after I finished my meal, kitchen manager Michael Bean came over and said, “Paul, I’m going to bring you another bowl of mac & cheese. I didn’t realize how salty that last batch was. I’m sorry you had to eat it and I threw it out and am bringing you some from the new batch.” I didn’t really think the bowl I had was that bad, but it was a nice gesture that is indicative of how the Bear treats its customers. If the brunch crew makes the Bear its regular noon stop on Sundays, I will really have no choice but to demote the Saucer to mid-afternoon.

After a brief Saucer visit, I came back to the Bear for poker night at 6:30. As I expected, it was much more laid-back than the Tuesday game, with a crowd of about 20. Most of the night we were playing six-handed, where it’s a lot easier to get creative with your hands than at a full table. I came in third, earning some league points.

Because I was at the Brass Door Saturday night, I didn’t get a chance to see the ULM-Arkansas game. Probably a good thing. After entering the season being talked about as a national title contender, the Hogs lost in overtime to a Sun Belt team. As a result, Arkansas fell out of the top 25 after being ranked 8th last week. I guess this illustrates that top-level players need a top-level coach. There’s no way we would have lost to ULM had Petrino been coaching. Then again, we couldn’t have kept Petrino without becoming a program where the coach runs the university (see Penn State football, Ohio State football,, and Kentucky basketball in the past five years). My God. Alabama is going to kill us on Saturday, and then we’ll be 1-2. On the bright side for Arkansas fans in Memphis, the Hogs’ chances of ending up in the Liberty Bowl just got a lot better. If we can get 6 wins, that is.

Important PBR news: Double J Smokehouse and Saloon will have $2 PBR 5 to close tonight as a Monday Night Football special. Other specials include $3 Fireball and a French Dip sandwich with au jus and hand-cut fries.

More important PBR news: Max’s Sports Bar has PBR Monday going on right now, with $1 PBR and hot dogs from open until 7.

In Downtown news, the Hard Rock Cafe has announced Lil’ Rocker Tuesdays. Every Tuesday from 5-10 PM, kids 10 and under will eat free off the menu from the Hard Rock scratch kitchen. They’ll be adding area attractions to the night in future weeks – everything from ice cream socials to live music by kids. Two free kids’ meals per adult entree purchased.

All right. Site is back up. Today’s post has been published. Time for a beer. Pint Nite at the Saucer at 6, poker hosted by Muruako at the Goose at 9.

Blind Bear will be open at noon on Sundays starting this week. Previously they had been opening at 3 for “Hung Over Like a Bear” brunch, but with NFL season starting, they want to be open for all the games. They’ll turn the sound on for the game being shown at the bar if you request it. If you’d prefer to watch a different game, you can reserve the Den or the dining room and put your game on the TV, with sound. They will have RedZone as well.

The Bear has a pool table for those who wish to play a game while they watch football.

Also, Blind Bear is adding a second poker night to the week, Sundays at 6:30. Winners on Sunday night will earn points toward the poker league that has been ongoing on Tuesdays. There will also be a $50 weekly prize. Free to play. It’s only week 3 of a 16-week league, so plenty of time to earn points. Previous grand prizes in the league have included an iPad and $500 in gift cards to local restaurants. Michael Bean will be the tournament director. The Sunday game is good news for several reasons:

1) It probably won’t draw the huge crowds of as many as 50 that show up on Tuesdays. Jamie told me he expects maybe 20 or 25, and I agree with that estimate.

2) Since Michael Bean will be running the game, Jamie will actually be able to play. Jamie says he hopes to play every other week, and Jeannette will play some too.

3) Since Michael Bean will be running the game, that means he won’t be playing! No nuisance raises, none of him saying “all-in” on the turn when he folded his cards on the flop, no foolishness.

Last night, Jamie showed me the new poker table he has on order. It will be the largest size made – I think he said 96 inches. It will sit where the dining room table is now (“Jeannette and I will finally get our dining room table back” and will have black felt with “The Blind Bear” on it. It will come with a cover, so it will be able to be used as a dining table on non-poker nights.

The company that made the Bear’s poker chips is making the table, and it will be here in about a month. Or, if they screw up the order like they did the chips, it will be here in 3 months and a poker table with “Blind Bare” will be marked down cheap at a warehouse sale somewhere.

Sundays just got more fun. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow night for poker!