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Well, I have my costume on and no one’s downstairs yet (we moved the party to the lobby since it’s 49 outside). So, here’s a quick Halloween story to keep myself (and possibly you) entertained while I wait for it to be party time.

Last year was the first year I dressed up as the Beer Goddess/Saucer chick. I bought the outfit in mid-October, and once I had it I decided to try it on one night after work, to make sure everything fit well in advance of the big weekend.

So I put the tank top on… a bit small, but workable. I put the miniskirt on. I put the thigh-high stockings on. Then came the shoes, which are 5-inch shiny black platform shoes which I’ve actually had since my club days in the 1990s. They’re kind of a pain to get on. So after a couple of minutes I managed to get the left one on and…

Then the phone rang. It was actually the buzzer downstairs. Someone wanted in.

“Pauly-Wauly!” said a voice I immediately recognized as my friend Bruce, a retired boxer. “Lemme come up and grab a drink from your bar.” Now, normally I’d be delighted to see Bruce and offer him a drink. But I didn’t particularly feel like explaining to a manly ex-boxer why I was in my apartment, alone, wearing a miniskirt, stockings, and one platform shoe. And if I let him in, his elevator ride up wouldn’t give me enough time to change back into street clothes.

“Uh, Bruce, this really isn’t a good time, can you come back later?” I told him.

“Come on, Paul, I just need one drink, man!” he yelled into the call box.

“Bruce, not now, I’m in the middle of something.” The call box hit its 30-second time limit and hung up on Bruce. I breathed a sigh of relief and starting wrestling with the other shoe.

About three minutes later… right as I got the other shoe on… I heard a knock on my door. “Pauly-Wauly, let me in!” Someone had recognized Bruce and let him in the building.

“Bruce, I told you it’s not a good time!” I said. “I’m busy. I can’t let you in.” I walked toward the door and my platform heels made a clacking noise against the kitchen floor.

“I hear high heels, you got a girl in there? Come on, let me in, I won’t stay, I just want to get one shot of vodka from ya, brother.”

“BRUCE, NOT NOW!!!!”

To this day he probably doesn’t understand why I was so rude to him that night.

All right, I’m going to head back downstairs and see if they’ve tapped the kegs yet.

“Hello! I’m Paulina, and I’ll be your Beer Goddess this evening. We have 70 beers on draft, and another 125 in bottles. Check the chalkboard for our Fire Sale, where we put one draft beer on sale for $2.50 every day. Also, make sure you check out our new food menu. And if you want, I’ll sign you up to join our UFO Club, where you can drink 200 beers and you get a plate party and your name in our Ring of Honor. So, what can I get for you?”

If you see this waitress out at Halloween parties this weekend, please be sure to tip her well.

Sleep Out Louie’s will have live music by jazz band Mad Matt Formation and $1 Bud Family longnecks tonight, Thursday, October 26. Come on down if you’re looking for something to do…

Here’s the updated list of Halloween parties going on around town:

Friday 10/27: South Main Trolley Art Tour, 6-9. Not really a Halloween event but the galleries will be serving free booze.

My apartment building’s party, 9-until. Of course, I’ll be there. We’re trying to figure out whether the weather will permit us to have it on the rooftop. Last forecast I saw said high 63, low 46, which sounds awful chilly for a rooftop party. Remember, we want those whose costumes involve various states of undress to be comfortable, and not leave to go to other parties.

There’s also a Memphis Roller Derby Halloween party and fundraiser at Neil’s, with Adios Gringo, Damn Your Eyes, and The Vacant. Costume contest. Starts at 9:00, $6 cover.

Saturday 10/28: Halloween party at the Flying Saucer. Costume contest with grand prize of an electric guitar kit or a trip for two to the Bahamas. Needless to say, I will be there a good part of the evening.

Halloween party at Dan McGuinness. I hear they’re going to be giving away a home theater system for their costume contest. Since that’s right across the street, I’ll probably make an appearance there as well.

I’ve also heard Atlas will be throwing a good party Saturday night. According to the guys who were sitting next to me one Sunday afternoon at the Saucer, the Atlas party got pretty wild last year. They mentioned something about females at the party with tape covering strategic areas and not much else. Hmmm.

Elsewhere downtown, Pat O’s will be having a party 10-2 with costume contest. $6 cover includes first beer.

In the Marshall/Monroe area, The Halloween Party from Hell will be happening at Premiere Palace. $15 with costume, $20 without. Visit their site for more info.

Across the street at the old Six-1-Six location, the 450 Stonewall party will take place, which is always huge. Their site says info will be updated soon; um, guys, it’s gonna be November before long, might wanna get on that. It would be easy to do the Premiere Palace and Stonewall parties without re-parking, if you don’t mind paying two covers.

The Chicken Tractor party is Saturday at Newby’s, which I’ve heard is good, and if you’re lucky you’ll get to make out with regular blog reader Mendi.

Sunday 10/29: Uptown is having a neighborhood chili cookoff, pumpkin carving contest, and house decoration contest from noon to 6. Unlike almost everything else mentioned here, this one is kid-friendly.

Monday 10/30: Uptown Haunted House, 6-8 pm, at Uptown Square Apartments (formerly Lauderdale Courts), 252 N. Lauderdale.

Tuesday 10/31: If you have kids, there will be a Halloween party at Mud Island River Park with pumpkin carving, magic, toys, candy, food, hay rides, and more. $2 for kids, parents free with purchase of a kid’s ticket 5:30-8:00, rain or shine.

And now, on to the adult events:

Sleep Out Louie’s is having a Halloween party with costume contest, starting at 5. See below for details.

Bluefin has a Halloween party with costume contest. Last year the contest got started late, around 11.

Big Foot will have a party from 9-12 with costume contest and $2 34 oz. Coors Light. This should be a good one, Shawn always throws one hell of a party.

The “spooky” trivia night at the Flying Saucer has been postponed until November 7.

I will spend the evening of the 31st moving back and forth between Sleep Out’s, Big Foot, Bluefin, and the Flying Saucer (no party mentioned for the Saucer, but I’ll stop by anyway). Not sure where I’ll be spending the majority of my time; everyone be forewarned, loyalty to my usual local bars will take a back seat to which bar has the hottest females.

That’s the list. If I missed anything let me know.

Coming tomorrow: A pic of the most beautiful waitress ever to put on a Flying Saucer uniform. She can be a bit bitchy at times, but my God is she hot. Many of you know who I’m talking about. So be sure to check back tomorrow.

This post is going be unusual for me in two respects: 1) I’m going to recommend a movie. As many of you (especially my trivia team) know, I almost never go see movies; 2) It’s going to be a post where I mention spiritual/religious matters without making fun of them.

Conversations with God. Based on a book by the same name that came out about 12 years ago. It starts Friday, October 27 at Studio on the Square. GO SEE IT.

It presents a different way of thinking of “God,” and having a relationship with God, than you will find in any mainstream religion. I’ve read the book and it makes more sense to me from a spiritual/religious perspective than anything else I’ve seen.

This movie won’t preach to you. It won’t say, “I AM RIGHT, I AM THE ONE WAY” as is so often the case with mainstream religion. If you have an open mind, this movie won’t turn you off; it will turn you on. GO SEE IT.

I’m excited. This could be the beginning of a complete overhaul in the way society sees itself in relation to God, and I think it’s an overhaul that’s long overdue.

GO SEE IT.

I know, I know, I need to update the Halloween list. Lots of stuff to add. It’ll be updated tomorrow at the latest.

I just got back from early voting… usually I walk up the Main Street Mall to Poplar, turn right, and the office is at 157 Poplar just past Second. However… due to the church fire, that entire intersection (even the sidewalks) is completely blocked off. If you’re walking to the election commission, you’ll need to get over on Third and then turn left on Poplar, where you can still use to sidewalk to get to the door at 157 Poplar.

Here’s a list of early voting locations and times.

I voted for Phil Bredesen because he’s done a good job, Steve Cohen because I admire his principles and leadership, Harold Ford Jr. because he’s not a Republican, and No on Amendment 1 because it promotes intolerance and prejudice. I would have voted for Republican Terry Roland because I want to see Ophelia Ford lose, but I didn’t appreciate his auto-dialer calling me at 8:04 in the morning, waking me up to a canned campaign message. So I left that race blank.

Tonight: Beer, trivia, waitresses.

If so, check this out:

www.openoffice.org

OpenOffice is a free office suite that contains the following tools:

• Writer, a word processor that creates documents compatible with Word
• Calc, a spreadsheet that creates Excel-compatible workbooks
• Impress, presentation software that creates slideshows compatible with PowerPoint
• Base, a database program which can work with Access databases, as well as most other databases through ADO, ODBC, LDAP, etc.
• Draw, a drawing program which uses vector graphics
• Math, an equation editor

Looks like it can do most of what Microsoft Office can do at 0% of the price. Might be worth a look if you’re computing on a budget.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that gas prices have been falling the past couple of months. From a high of close to three bucks a gallon, prices have now dropped to around $1.98-2.12 a gallon in the Memphis area.

Like a lot of people, I tended to think, “Yeah, right. The oil companies are lowering the gas prices so their buddies the Republicans will win the fall elections and keep on passing favorable legislation.” But today I found this article on HowStuffWorks.com. It claims that the most important factor in the falling prices is the oil commodity traders, who believe there will continue to be an ample supply, and therefore don’t feel the need to push the price up. Other factors include a drop in the price of crude oil (OPEC doesn’t have as much power to control the price as they used to), and a mild hurricane season. “The GOP may be powerful,” says the article, “but it’s not powerful enough to control the price of a globally traded commodity.”

So at least on this one issue, it looks like the Republicans are getting some blame they don’t deserve.

Before I get started, let me congratulate the Arkansas Razorbacks on their 38-3 clobbering of Ole Miss this weekend. The Hogs absolutely killed the Rebels. Wonder if Ole Miss fan and fellow blogger Philip saw the game. Hotty Toddy dude! Better luck next year!

Now, down to business. A few days ago, I posted a question – I wanted to know why Asians always make the sign below when they have their pictures taken.

Regular blog reader Carmel, who used to teach in Japan, responded. She too had noticed this behavior, and asked her students why they did it. They couldn’t really give a good answer – they thought it was “cool” and thought Americans did it too. She pointed me to this Wikipedia article about the V sign which claims that the craze was actually started by an American, figure skater Janet Lynn. In the 1972 Sapporo Winter Olympics, Lynn stumbled on the ice, but continued to smile and her demeanor made her an instant celebrity in Japan. In interviews in the following days, Lynn (a peace activist) repeatedly flashed the sign. The Japanese began to imitate the gesture in photographs, and it later caught on among other Asians.

(Now, keep in mind, that’s what Wikipedia says, not necessarily the truth. I’m annoyed with Wiki for making me look bad over the “pen” thing yesterday. Wiki also used to claim that a tube top can have a single strap around the neck, which is absolutely, positively wrong, but they’ve since corrected it. Just because you read it on the Internet, doesn’t make it true.)

Carmel continues, “I don’t think Asians have much control over the urge to make that sign when being photographed. It really is deeply ingrained behavior.” She also said that she tended to make that sign when being photographed in Japan (she wanted to “do as the Romans do,” an expression the Japanese love). When she came back to the States, she had to work hard to break herself of the habit.

So there ya go. Now ya know.

I’m in a very excited, creative mood these days, as a result of stuff going on at work. As you know, I work as a contractor for the city schools, developing Web and Intranet applications. We’re in the process of upgrading our development platform to ASP.NET 2.0/Visual Basic.NET 2.0, and it’s the most kickass web application platform I’ve ever seen. I can see all kinds of ways to improve some existing programs I’ve been working on at the city schools, and I also see a lot of potential for taking consulting jobs on the side, once I master ASP.NET 2.0.

A lot of the tools I want to explore fall outside the scope of work, though, so last week I bought an additional GoDaddy.com hosting account with Windows Server, ASP.NET 2.0, and SQL Server, so I have a sandbox to play in, a place where I can try things out without messing up any of my existing websites. Since then I’ve had a really cool business idea, to be set up on the new hosting account… gonna keep it a secret for now, but I’ll be talking more about it in the coming months.

If there are any programmers who want to learn ASP.NET 2.0, I recommend two resources: First, ASP.NET 2.0 Unleashed by Stephen Walther, a massive 2,000 page hardcover book that threatens to break my back when I carry it around in my backpack. It’s clearly written, thorough, and the examples work well to illustrate the new technologies in 2.0. Examples are in VB.NET, but if you’re a C# person, they have examples in that language on the CD included with the book. I’ve been through the first five chapters and already feel like I’m on my way to mastery. (By the way, I love Amazon.com. 40% off the retail price of the book, no sales tax. They estimated a ship date of October 24, but the book was waiting outside my door when I got home October 20.)

Second, I recommend this set of data tutorials on www.asp.net. They cover 2.0’s new structures for pulling data from a database and displaying it on a page. There are 35 tutorials in all (with code in both VB.NET and C#); so far I’ve done 10, and again, I feel like I’m on my way to mastery. Take advantage of these two resources, and you’ll be on your way to becoming an expert in ASP.NET 2.0.

I’m also teaching myself to write Blogger templates. By the end of the next month, I’d like to have my own, custom template, rather than relying on ones other people have created. And yes, I promise I’ll use a larger font when I do my template, so this blog will be easier to read.

Sorry for the nerdy post with all the techno-jargon, but that’s the main thing that’s been going on in my life this weekend. I have an answer to the Asian question, but I’ll do that in a separate post since the computer talk has probably chased away 80% of my audience by this point.