Paul Ryburn's Journal

For the second event of Wine Race, the Queen of the Vine competition, our crew assembled at the Handy Park stage. We had the Saucer girls, Bad Shane and 10-ounce Talley from Squeal Street, and “Mr. Load-in” from the 2014 award-winning Moody Ques BBQ team. The girl pictured above didn’t win Queen of the Vine but we all agreed she pretty much owned that damn stage.

I led off the day with D-RANKS with B-RAD at Blind Bear, where Colin gave me my team T-shirt. Due to photographer duties I didn’t get to march in the parade with the team.

Prior to the parade I started off my day with one of these:

For those of you who don’t know, this drink is a Call-a-Cab. Wet Willie’s, across Beale from Handy Park, sells them and they are made with 190 proof PGA. A large Cab has almost as much alcohol as a six-pack of beer. Definitely not recommended if you’re driving. Definitely not recommended that you have more than one. I had two.

Several of the teams threw beads in the opening parade. Jack Binion’s restaurant in Horseshoe, however, threw candy bars. Yes I stood there and ate a candy bar off a garbage can like a damn bum. I have no shame at all.

PRO TIP: If you want to take photos of an event on Beale, stand next to a garbage can. That way there’s not a person next to you blocking your view. Seriously, this works and I learned it years ago.

Green Beetle team

New entry to Wine Race this year: Lafayette’s Music Room

Saucer girls

Squeal Street BBQ, reliving that moment in 2014 when they watched the Moody Ques walk up on stage at BBQ Fest to collect a trophy.

QOTV contestants shakin it

“I hate to see you leave, but I sure do love watching you go” guy interviewing the contestants

Blind Bear QOTV contestant Mandy Marie

Suzy is unimpressed with the QOTV interview responses.

So, yeah, this happened.

The man, the myth, the legend, Jon Roser, ladies and gentlemen. Roser has chosen wisely on his selection of beverage.

Mandy and Dirty B getting down on stage

A member of the crowd just figured out why I call it “Debauchery Day”

False advertising. Love ya to death Godsey but you are NOT a double D.

Getting set up for the grape stomp

Teams from the first heat get ready to measure. Whoever produces the most grape juice in two minutes wins.

Michael Bean and Jamie from Blind Bear doing grape stomp

Buddha doing his best impression of “Well, you know, I’m totally not part of this conversation, but I’m going to twist and turn and lean in and listen anyway, because what else do I have to do, watch porn on a tablet in a room in my dad’s house” guy

Street food. Pizza at Jerry Lee’s. It’s the same people who run Ferraro’s. Really good. I had a slice of pepperoni and a slice of sausage.

 Full photo album (239 photos) here. I had to delete an additional 32 photos due to wardrobe malfunctions.

Day three of a three-day weekend and I see no reason to hang out at home. PBR at Bloom’s bar at Bardog as soon as I hit Publish and get dressed. Anyone else who took a Wine Race recovery day is welcome to join.

Yesterday was the completely awesome day that I expected. Start to finish, I enjoyed every minute of it. Well, maybe not the minute where I banged my big toe against a temporary traffic sign on Beale and split my toenail in half, but all the other minutes. My right foot looks like something out of a horror movie today.

I started off the day at Panda Time at Bardog. Wing Fest was down the street on Riverside, and people kept coming in asking to use the restroom without ordering anything. “There’s a restrooms for customers only sign around here somewhere,” Panda said, but she couldn’t find it. She called someone, presumably Aldo, to ask what to do. “There’s a computer downstairs with Microsoft Word on it,” she was told. “Find someone tech-y (Panda pointed at me) at the bar and have them print you out a new sign.” Panda took me down to the office and I made her a sign.

Type four words in a document, change the font to 60 point Arial Black, hit the Print button, get bought a beer. I can live with that.

Friends of mine were at Bardog pre-gaming for Wing Fest. They left, then came back 10 minutes later. “There were at least 60 people in line to get in,” they told me. “And it’s a $12 cover, and you have to pay even more to eat or drink anything.” I must admit, I don’t understand Wing Fest. I mean, I get it that it’s a fundraiser, but when it costs more to get in Wing Fest than it does BBQ Fest, it kind of makes me not want to go.

While at Bardog I got a Facebook message, alerting me that not only was the brewery staying open late to show the entire Grizzlies game, but they were handing out blue “Revival” growl towels at 9:15, 15 minutes before the start of the game. I immediately knew what my game watching plans for the evening would be.

My second stop was Blind Bear. “I read your blog,” Mandy Marie said. “I’m the one working the double,” taking over for my favorite pair of librarian glasses who was working the Memphis Made party out in Midtown. Mandy totally rocked it and did an awesome job. Class clowns Rahul and Tony were there. Tony was playing with his stick – his new selfie stick, that is.

Next stop was the brewery, where my friend Bad Shane offered me the chance to buy a $5000 painting. Unfortunately I was about $4960 short and had to decline.

It was a beautiful day and Bella was hanging out in the beer garden.

By about 5:30 I was getting hungry. I went to Central BBQ but it appeared that every table in the house was full, so I started walking, looking for a place to go. As I walked past South of Beale, I saw that my friend Kaylea (who told me to “eat a dick” in response to yesterday’s post) was bartending and the place wasn’t busy. So I went in and took a seat. Remembering that I had heard good things about the duck patty melt, I ordered it for dinner.

My friends weren’t lying about the patty melt. REALLY good. I recommend it if you find yourself at SOB. I let Kaylea pick my side and she picked mac & cheese. It was good too.

Finishing dinner around 6:30, I realized I might as well stay in South Main to ensure I would be at the brewery for game time. I paid a visit to Max’s Sports Bar then wandered over to the brewery around 7:30.

At 9:15 the growl towels came out. I got not one, but two. I might be willing to give away the second one if the right offer comes along.

Here are some pictures of members of Squeal Street BBQ posing with their growl towels with 2014 award-winning Moody Ques team member “Mr. Load-in”:

Thanks to shots of Fireball throughout the day I gradually started to go downhill.

On a side note… I hear that one of the biggest imbeciles in Memphis doesn’t understand why my BBQ team uses a Van Halen logo when our team name is a play on the Moody Blues. Hey, there are all things we don’t understand. For example, I don’t understand why you’re almost 50 and still living in a room in your dad’s house.

The brewery stayed open through the end of the game, but their beer permit cut off at 11, so at halftime I walked north to the Saucer to watch the rest of the game. Nice to see the Grizzlies looking good. I hung out until about 1, and I heard some of the girls talking about Purple Haze after-hours. I considered it but realized that was a sure way to sleep through Wine Race today.

Oh, speaking of Wine Race… IT’S DEBAUCHERY DAY!!!!!! If you are a prude or a teetotaler I would recommend staying the hell away from Handy Park this afternoon. Wine Race has taught me many important lessons. For example, it taught me that 4 Call-a-Cabs from Wet Willie’s in one afternoon is not a very good idea. The BBQ team definitely shouldn’t let me operate the flamethrower after drinking Call-a-Cabs.

(I mentioned the flamethrower )

D-RANKS with B-RAD at 11 where I will pick up my Blind Bear shirt for Wine Race. Over to Handy Park around 12:45 and I have all three batteries charged up for the Tube Top Cam. Rest of the day TBD, but I have tomorrow off so I do not plan on making it an early night.

Traffic on Riverside is being re-routed not only for Memphis in May, but today, also for Wing Fest. This sign looks like it’s telling drivers to turn right on the pedestrian Main Street Mall. City traffic engineers might want to re-think that one.

I saw the sign on my morning walk to City Market. The past two weeks, I have gotten smoothies from the juice truck at Farmers Market. This morning I am not heading that far south, but City Market has smoothies too. I thought to myself, “I could totally get a cup filled with mango and strawberry and blueberry goodness.”

Then I thought, “City Market also has Mountain Dew.”

I totally got a Mountain Dew.

(I used the Mr. Green icon I use when I mention my BBQ team’s flamethrower )

(I mentioned the flamethrower )

In a rather silly mood this morning… It’s the first day of a three-day weekend for me and I am rather happy about that. There are a ton of things going on this weekend. But first, a look at the other product I bought at City Market.

New product called Mountain Dew Dewshine. 12 ounce glass bottle, made with real sugar. Being a lover of all things Dew (except Diet Dew, which tastes like cat piss) I had to try one. Tastes like halfway between a Dew and a Sprite. Not bad, although I prefer regular Dew.

In case you didn’t know, Mountain Dew is a nickname for moonshine. I think George Jones used that term in “White Lightnin'”. It got its name in the ’40s when backwoods moonshine stills were still common.

Dammit, I miss The Dempseys. Half their songs were about moonshine.

Memphis Farmers Market is going until 1 and this week’s theme is Give Peas a Chance. Kinda makes me want to go down there and sing a duet of “Give Peace a Chance” with someone. Robo?

Wing Fest starts at 11 today. Good luck to my buddy Seth who writes the Best Memphis Burger blog. “Mr. Load-in” is rooting for you!

(If you’re playing the drinking game, today’s post is probably gonna get you pretty drunk.)

Out in Midtown, there’s a celebration called Hopped going on at Memphis Made Brewery today. The brewery is on South Cooper just south of Central.

Hmmm… I assume my favorite pair of librarian glasses is working Hopped… wonder who will be day bar at Blind Bear today. Pretty much anyone else to fill in would be working a double, and no one wants a double the day before Wine Race.

The Redbirds are back in town tonight with a 6:05 game against Round Rock. Fireworks after the game.

Blind Mississippi Morris plays Tennessee Brewery Revival from 3 to 7 today. Beer, food trucks, art, good people.

The next concert in the River Series at Harbor Town Amphitheater is tonight at 7. Jack Oblivian and The Sheiks will play.

There are two upcoming special events at the Tennessee Brewery this month. On Monday there will be an Infor Memphis mayoral forum at 5. All declared candidates for mayor of Memphis have been invited. The forum will be moderated by Kyle Veazey.

Thursday the 30th the brewery will host Drink-n-Draw from 5 to 8. It’s described as a game show, karaoke, and art class all rolled into one. Learn drawing tricks, play games, win prizes.

WREG has an article about the “trolley” at South Main Trolley night last night. Wish the city would contract with this company and get those ugly green buses off Main.

I found a few pics on my camera from last weekend, also a three-day weekend. Let’s have a look shall we?

If this not how your BBQ team does meetings, you’re not doing it right. (or “your not doing it right” as my friend Kaylea would say). So, let’s see… so far this year we’ve had a special Saturday happy hour at the Goose, a backyard cookout with two High Cotton beers on draft, and a rooftop party overlooking Rajun Cajun Crawfish Fest. I dare say there is not a team in all of BBQ Fest who has had a better pre-season than the Moody Ques.

Takin’ out my big weiner at Rajun Cajun. (I could so make a second story BBQ booth reference here, but maybe I better not.)

Three-day weekends are rough. It’s important to pace yourself and nap throughout the day as needed.

Can you tell I’m in a fabulous fuckin mood today?

All right. Panda Time at Bardog at 11 is my first stop, but after that the day is wide open. Hop a Lyft to Midtown for Hopped? A possibility. Blind Bear? I’ll probably at least stop by because I’m curious who is day bar. Brewery? An option, for sure. Max’s? If I go to the brewery it would be rude to not at least stop by and say hello. Wing Fest? Might happen, you never know. Saturday evening service at Hope Church? Yeah, wouldn’t count on that one.

Got a little time to kill before Panda Time, so I’m going to get back in bed and take a nap. And I’m not going to wake up until I understand women! …So, when you find me and bury me, I’d like “Inventor of Tube Top Month” on my gravestone, and please mention the Moody Ques’ flamethrower in my eulogy.

(I mentioned the flamethrower again )

I saw an article on my Twitter feed this morning titled “What the Best Bloggers Do Right.” I didn’t click through to read it, but I imagine Tube Top Month was mentioned… and BBQ team flamethrowers…

(I mentioned the flamethrower )

Very important news: A chili cheese Fritos taco was spotted at the Taco Bell at Third and Crump. Thanks to @BradPee on Twitter for sharing this discovery.

Tonight is South Main Trolley Night, with many shops and galleries open until 9 or later. I don’t have too many details for this one, but I do know that “Almost Elton John” will perform at Love Pop Soda Shop this evening. There will be a special bus that will shuttle people back and forth from Peabody Place to G.E. Patterson from 6 to 8 PM.

Here’s the official Beale Street page for Sunday’s Wine Race. The Blind Bear has ordered me a shirt and I will be on the sidelines cheering the Bear on in all the events.

MemphisWeather.net says that storms may (not will, but may) fire up tomorrow similar to the ones Texas and Oklahoma had earlier this week. If they do materialize, they need to be kept an eye on. Keep that in mind if you are attending Wing Fest, Hopped, or any other outdoor event tomorrow.

High Ground News has a good article about the fight against blight Downtown. Memphis is taking one of the most aggressive approaches of any city.

Last night I stopped by the Silly Goose and Daniel showed me his latest invention: patio bingo.

That should be fun. All the cards have the same items but in different spots.

Going to hit Publish and take a quick walk before the rain moves in. My plan for tonight was to go to South Main Trolley Night (and I mean actually walk around and visit the shops, not sit at Max’s and drink PBR all evening like I usually do), but the weather forecast makes me think a Plan B is in order. If the rain this evening is what they say it is, Bardog will be my destination.

The Memphis Flyer has a cover article on Bass Pro Pyramid which is opening next week. If you’re not the type who picks up a hard copy of the Flyer every week, you can read the article here.

The Memphis in May Riverside Drive detour begins today. If you use Riverside to get to I-55 South, the best alternate is to take Second south to G.E. Patterson, take a left then take a right on Third, take Third to Crump, right on Crump and head west until you see the sign. Just don’t get on I-55 North by mistake and end up in Arkansas. Done that myself a time or two. The good news is, when Riverside re-opens at the end of next month, all four lanes will be open again. Bye bike lanes!

Holly has an excellent list of ABCs of Memphis in May. Those of you who are not on BBQ Fest teams but who get invited to visit team booths, take note of suggestion “T” in particular. Hey, we gotta pay for that flamethrower somehow!

(I mentioned the flamethrower )

’80s college band Walrus headlines tonight’s Peabody rooftop party. Doors open at 6, $10 cover, ladies free before 7. Admission includes a buffet of cheese dip and chips, pizza rolls, and mini corn dogs. If you’re in VIP you have a second buffet of cheese dip and a nacho bar, crudite, pizza rolls, and sliders.

The state approved rules for rideshare companies like Uber and Lyft today, pre-empting a local ordinance.

A new ordinance banning smoking in New Orleans bars, restaurants, and casinos has taken effect. Sure wish Memphis would pass something similar.

Here are the full results of voting for NBA Defensive Player of the Year. Kawhi Leonard won. Tony Allen finished 7th, Marc Gasol 11th.

Plans for tonight: Hit the usual spots, chat with my BBQ teammates about the flamethrower.

(I mentioned the flamethrower again )

I have more information about Burrito Blues, the new restaurant that will be serving authentic Mexican food on Beale in the location that used to be Johnny G’s.

On Sunday-Thursday the hours will be 11 to 9. Friday and Saturday it will be 11 to 11 for the dining room, with food available until 3 AM in the restaurant’s take-out window.

Burrito Blues will have “build your own” burritos, tacos, burrito bowls, salads, and nachos. Meats will include grilled adobo marinated chicken, adobo marinated steak, peppadew pepper rubbed beef brisket, and smoked pork shoulder along with options for vegetarians and vegans. The restaurant buys local whenever possible. The bar has four draft beers, two Ghost River and two national choices (unfortunately not PBR). Margaritas are available from 16 to 100 ounces, and there will be house, blue, and top-shelf options. The top-shelf option is Camerena Gold Tequila, produced at a 150-year-old distillery. The restaurant will play blues music 24/7.

Burrito Blues Menu (PDF)

Riverside Drive will close for Memphis in May and for improvements tomorrow through May 25. It’s that time of year. Plan on taking Front and Georgia as your alternate route.

Capriccio Grill in the Peabody has a new lunch menu. Here’s a look.

It’s Memphis Beer Week and there are tastings, dinners, and other events happening this week. Here’s the schedule.

A pair of Elton John’s glasses were stolen from the Rock & Soul Museum this week.

Last night there was not much happening in the Downtown core so I decided to walk down to Max’s Sports Bar and see what was going on there. As I passed the Happy Mexican I noticed the new apartments across the street on Second. They are under construction and there was a sign on the front saying 1-bedrooms start at $538. That’s a really good value.

Grizzlies vs. Portland, Game 2, 7 PM at FedExForum. If you don’t go to the game it’s on TNT.

Outta here, time to hit Publish then PBR.

There’s a new restaurant on Beale called Burrito Blues Mexican Grill. It is in the old Johnny G’s Creole Kitchen location near Club 152. I will try to find a menu and post a pic or a link soon.

Festival season continues and I have three to tell you about, two huge ones and a smaller one, happening Downtown this coming weekend.

On Saturday, the 13th annual Southern Hot Wing Festival happens at Jefferson Davis Park, just south of the Tennessee Visitors Center on N. Riverside Drive. Many cook teams will compete to see who has the best wings, and if you drop a dollar or two in the can for Ronald McDonald House, many of the teams will give you a sample. There will also be a wing eating contest, silent auction, kids’ corner, food for sale and more. $12 tickets, or $10 if purchased in advance at Mapco or Ronald McDonald House. Kids under 12 get in free. Outside coolers and pets are not permitted at the festival.

Wing Fest is a good festival but I am undecided whether I will go… by the time I pay to get in and donate to sample wings, I’m out about 20 bucks and I haven’t even bought a beer yet. Then again, I get to see people at these festivals who I rarely see other times during the year. Don’t know. If I don’t do the festival, my usual lineup of Panda Time and librarian glasses will be in effect. No Farmers Market trip Saturday no matter which plan I go with.

Sunday is the Beale Street Wine Race. Teams from bars and restaurants all over the city (but many Downtown) compete in four events. There is an opening parade where teams attempt to win Best Float. Then there’s Queen of the Vine in Handy Park, where women shake their stuff in bikinis and answer pageant questions. Next up is the grape stomp, where the team that stomps the highest volume of grapes wins. The final event is the wine relay itself, where teams of four see who can run the fastest down Beale with a tray full of wine bottles and glasses.

Wine Race is debauchery at its very finest, and if you have never gone you should see it. In my opinion the first two events, the opening parade and Queen of the Vine, are the best, so try to get there right at 1. There is rule against nudity at Queen of the Vine, but sometimes when all that dancing happens on stage, a nip or a vag pops out, and well, accidents will happen. I do not recommend bringing your kids to this, unless they grew up around the bar scene. I have seen people bring dogs. Needless to say I will not be missing this one, although I may not take photos as I have in years past. The Blind Bear is participating and they have already ordered a team shirt for me.

The 8th annual Dead Elvis Scooter Rally happens this weekend. Here is a note they sent me about the event:

“The Memphis Kings Scooter Club, established in 2003, is Memphis’ largest and oldest scooter club. We welcome all sizes, shapes, and makes of scooters. Throughout the year we have group rides and socials, attend out of town rallies, participate in parades and other local events such as Bike Night on Beale Street, and host an annual rally. This year we are hosting our 8th Dead Elvis Scooter Rally, Friday– Sunday, April 24 – 26. Come join us for scooter socials, short rides around the city, and long rides through the winding country roads of West Tennessee. We are also having our scooter games and scooter judging at the Mud Island River Park. Sunday morning the rally will conclude with an Awards Brunch and Scooter Raffle. For more information please visit www.MemphisKings.net.”

Bleh. Back to work after a 3-day weekend and the week is not off to a good start. I lost my parking pass to my Downtown garage and had to go get a new one. Two bugs flew up my nose. And I am finally starting to accept a situation I desperately tried not to accept for over a month, up to and including this past weekend. I still have the best group of friends I could ask for, though, and I hope to hang out with some of them tonight. Home from work, now it’s time to begin my quest for PBR.

This weekend I was thinking, I wonder if anyone has ever made a drinking game about my blog/Facebook statues/life? So this morning I woke  up a little early and made a list.

(I mentioned the flamethrower )

Mexican food is about to return to the Downtown core. The MBJ has a sneak peek of Agave Maria, set to open soon in the former Pa Pa Pia’s/Cafe Samovar location on Union across from Mesquite Chop House and Scratchy’s Alley.

The Majestic Grille is having the next in its “10 til 10” series on May 5 leading up to its 10th birthday. Deni emailed me the menu for the next in this special sinner series (not a typo – it was in the email. Freudian slip?) Here’s the menu:

Entrantes
Empanada de Chorizo & Queso de Oaxaca
Enchilada Mole Coloradito de Pollo
Tamal de Puerco
Lisa’s Margarita or Luis’s Michelada

Primer Plato
Cerviche de Pescado
(white wine tbd)

Plato Principales
‘Borrego Adobado’ Braised Lamb Shank Adobado with Ancho Chili Sauce
(red wine tbd)

Postre
Flan Mexicana with Orange and Vanilla
Chocolate Mexicano Cordial

The dinner starts at 6 PM and is $65 plus tax and gratuity. Call 901-289-3870 for reservations.

The MBJ reports that Grizzlies home game playoff tickets are still among the cheapest in the NBA. We have the league’s 3rd cheapest, with the average playoff ticket cost at “only” $172.04. What a bargain, and you get a free growl towel!

Last night I hit Max’s, the brewery, and the Saucer. Tried Goldcrest 51 and can say if you’re a PBR fan like I am, I think you will like it. While at the Saucer, Panda checked in at Bardog on Facebook and said that night bartender Melissa “has a TUBE TOP on!” Needless to say, I was sitting at Melissa’s bar about 10 minutes later. Early night for me because there is a lot to do today. I am charging the camera batteries for Downtown Olympics and will be down there in a bit. Due to weather I am going to have to cross Harbortown Crawfish Fest off the agenda. Sorry Charvey but I only get rained on at BBQ Fest and Sunset Symphony. DTO opening ceremonies begin at 10 and I am heading that way.