Paul Ryburn's Journal

Thanks to several of my readers who e-mailed this afternoon in response to the “Where can I take REAL kickboxing classes Downtown?” They all supplied the same answer: You can take them at Envision Memphis, the gym on the top floor of the Cadre Building. Mark, who also bartends at the Majestic, is the instructor. I’ve known Mark for years and would highly recommend taking a class from him.

Now and then I run across a website and think, “Well, that was an idea that just NEEDED to happen.” Last night I found such a site in my Facebook feed: Bad Driver Videos, featuring the stupidest drivers in the world, who of course are located right here in Memphis.

Well, I was going to post a link to buy tickets for Game 6 with the Grizzlies tomorrow night, but they SOLD OUT! Game will be on ESPN at 8 PM Central.

For those who missed out on tickets, Mesquite Chop House has announced that they will have a pre-Grizzlies party tomorrow night from 5 to 7, and they will be giving away 30 – that’s right, THIRTY – tickets. Free Grizzlies tickets? Wonder if Stephanie will show up.

I’m the featured Memphian on Kerry’s I Love Memphis Blog today. Thanks Kerry for interviewing me, and welcome to new readers and Twitter followers who found me through Kerry’s blog!

If you’re looking for a place to watch the NFL Draft tonight, Ferraro’s Pizzeria and Pub is having a watch party with all-you-can-eat pizza and beer for $15 from 7 to 11.

Question from a reader: She absolutely loved the kickboxing class she used to take in Germantown, but now she lives Downtown and doesn’t want to drive out there 3x a week. She’s looking for a real kickboxing class – not kickboxing aerobics, but the real thing with the bag. Is there such a class in Downtown or Midtown? If so, please shoot me an email at paul@paulryburn.com and I’ll pass along the information (and blog it too, so that others can benefit).

Tonight’s Peabody rooftop party features The 17th Floor (that’s an R&B/hip-hop band, not a floor of the hotel). The hotel will showcase Memphis in May featured country Belgium with a Belgian buffet: European style tartine sandwiches, “stoemp” potatoes mashed with veggies and sausage, “Salade Ligeoise” with green beans, bacon, onions and vinegar. In VIP there will be steamed mussels with white wine and shallots, Belgian frites, Tomate-Ceyette Shrimp, and Belgian-style chocolate pralines. $10 to get in includes first drink; ladies free before 7.

Meanwhile, over at the Madison, the Memphis All-Stars will rock their weekly rooftop party. $7 to get in, cash bar and tapas menu available on the roof.

My sincere sympathy to casino employees who will be out of work for a while due to river levels. In case you haven’t heard, safety concerns due to rising river levels will force all the Tunica casinos to close on a rolling basis between today and May 2. This river situation is getting more and more serious.

That’s all for now. Gonna grab a quick lunch. Think I’ll try pho for the first time…

Even if you’re not going to Beale Street Music Fest, there’s still a reason to come Downtown this weekend: The people-watching is fantastic. It’s truly a show that no circus could hope to match. Here’s a guide to what you’ll see and where.

 

Best places to people-watch:

Beale Street. Most of the action is in the entertainment district between Second and Fourth, but for Music Fest they block off Beale all the way to Riverside. No better place to watch the freak show. Grab a 32 oz. beer – it’s legal to walk around with it on Beale between Second and Fourth, and really, as long as you don’t act a fool you’re probably not going to get stopped if you carry it past Second. If you get hungry, Domino’s usually sets up shop in Handy Park mid-afternoon Saturday and Sunday and sells pizzas. If you want something stronger than beer, I recommend going to Wet Willie’s and ordering a drink called the Call-a-Cab. One of those will knock your socks off. If you have a second Cab, you will end up being part of the freak show yourself, so be careful.

Views from above are always good. If you can get a seat on the second-floor patio at Alfred’s, there’s probably no better people-watching spot. I bet the window seats at Itta Bena, the restaurant on the third floor of BB King’s, are top-notch spots too.

Main Street Mall. Main between Peabody and Exchange is a pedestrian mall, where bikes and trolleys are allowed but cars are not. Particularly between Peabody Place and Union, there are several good patios that are excellent for people-watching – Majestic Grille, Blue Fin, Bar None, Local Gastropub. Window seats at the new frozen yogurt shop, set to open this week, will be good too. Officially, you can’t walk around with drinks as you can in the Beale entertainment district, but again, as long as you’re discrete about it, you probably won’t be stopped.

 

Who you’ll see:

“Woooooooo!” kids. Kids who have to let the world know how hard they’re partying by screaming “woooooooo!” all day long, as well as running around, screaming, causing fights occasionally. I hate these MFers in general, but from a distance they can be fun to watch, just like animals in a zoo. Best place to watch “wooooooo” kids: Unfortunately they’re everywhere.

Jesus freaks. Every year a group shows up with huge signs and bullhorns. They tell all the revelers that they are sinning when they drink and dance, and they are surely going to hell unless they turn to Jesus, their only hope for salvation. The leader of the group is from Tulsa, and I’ve been there so many years that he actually recognizes me and says hello. I return the hello by toasting him with my Call-a-Cab cup. They hand out little booklets which are comics telling you what an awful sinner you are. Best place to watch the Jesus freaks: Beale Street between Fourth and Riverside, Saturday and Sunday afternoons. Look for the big signs.

Hippies. You can’t have a music festival without hippies. You know the deal. Patchouli, dreads, multi-colored knit caps. Probably good connections to make if you want to score some weed for Music Fest. Best place to find hippies: They like to hang out on the grass on the block of Beale between Second and Main, by MLGW.

Scratchy. Scratchy walks around Downtown all day, scratching his beard, checking to make sure it’s still there since he last checked 1 second ago. A Scratchy sighting is considered among Downtowners to be a foreboding of good luck. Scratchy never asks for anything, but if you have leftover food, you can approach him and hand it to him, and he’ll be grateful. Best place to watch Scratchy: The alley next to Bardog, although anywhere in the area bounded by Front, Monroe, Second and Beale is good.

Ghetto rides. The lime green Buick Roadmasters and purple Crown Vics, with 26 inch rims and insignia to inform you that they have 26 inch rims. They’re starting to branch out to other models of cars too: Last year I saw a pimped-out Altima. Really? An Altima? They ride around all day with their stereos thumping. Not sure how they can afford the gas, but they do. Best place to see ghetto rides: Any window seat on Second between Union and Peabody Place.

Elmo. There’s a guy who dresses up like Elmo from Sesame Street and walks around Downtown. No one is quite sure why he does this. He’ll take a picture with you for a dollar. Best place to see Elmo: Main Street Mall. Occasionally he ventures onto Beale Street.

Illegal vendors. Some of them set up shop on corners, selling water without a vendor permit. Others are rolling vendors, carting a cooler up and down the street selling cans of beer for two bucks. Fun to watch because sooner or later, you just know the cops are going to roll up on them. Best place to see illegal vendors: Beale between Second and Riverside for the stationary ones; Main Street Mall for the rolling vendors.

The Zendiks. The Zendiks live on an artists’ farm in West Virginia. They believe society is too much of a distraction, with full-time jobs, social obligations, etc. They prefer to live in a space of their own where they can focus on their art. They travel across the country, selling T-shirts, magazines and books to support themselves. They’ve been known to come to Memphis to hang out during Music Fest weekend, although last year I didn’t see them. Some people consider them a cult, but I’ve talked with a few of them at length and am convinced they’re not. Founder Wulf Zendik’s book A Quest Among the Bewildered is an interesting read if you’re into Beat literature. Best place to see the Zendiks: Beale Street between Second and Third.

Bums. Hey mayne, hey big dog, sir, sir, can I aks you a question? Look here, man, I ain’t no bum or nothin’, but I’m just trying to get about fitty two cent. They’ll often do the tour guide gimmick and offer to show you around, then ask for a tip. (Do not let them lead you anywhere that is not well-lit and crowded.) When rain threatens, they’ll break out the bum-brella gimmick and offer to provide cover with the most raggedy umbrellas on earth. They’ll pick flowers from public beds and try to sell them to you. Best place to see bums: In the immediate vicinity of stores that sell liquor or beer; parking lots, where they pose as attendants.

Stupid drivers. Drivers turning left from the center lane, or sometimes even the right lane. Drivers going the wrong way up one-way Second Street. Best place to see stupid drivers: Window seats at the Flying Saucer.

Iguana. There’s a man who walks around Downtown with an iguana on his shoulder. No idea why. Best place to see the iguana: You never know, could pop up anywhere, but busy streets like Main, Union and Second are your best bets.

Scalpers. The “got tickets, need tickets” guys. Do not buy a Music Fest ticket from a scalper. It is extremely easy for them to print multiple copies of the same ticket, and sell them. When you get to the gate, they’ll scan your ticket, and you may well discover that it’s already been used by someone else. By that time the scalper will be long gone. Best place to see scalpers: Near the entrance to Tom Lee Park.

Strip club employees. People from the Pony and the Gold Club are usually walking around, offering free passes. Sometimes they’ll even have a van and will offer you free transportation to the club. Best place to see strip club employees: Beale between Main and Riverside.

Pigeons. What big-city downtown is not filled with these most annoying birds? If you do any patio dining, it’s a good idea to look up and make sure you’re not under anything that could be used as a roost. Best place to see pigeons: Beale Street, Court Square

That’s a handy guide to the fauna of Downtown Memphis during Music Fest. Did I miss anything? Shoot me an e-mail at paul@paulryburn.com and let me know.

With all the BBQ Fest posts I’ve made, and two upcoming Music Fest posts that I’ve got in Drafts, I’ve been forgetting to do regular news posts the past few days. Here are a few news items.

While answering a series of interview questions recently, I needed to check a fact I gave about Downtown Memphis. As I did, Google led me to this site – Memphis History. Good place to read about the events and characters that have shaped this city over the past 200 years. Everyone from E.H. Crump to Jackie Fargo can be found on the site.

A friend who works on Beale Street told me that the Handy Bar has been turned into Ugly Juanita’s, with “cheap tacos and even cheaper blues.” Taco bar on Beale Street? Most definitely a win. I will check this out soon.

Good Downtown Groupon deal today: $10 for $20 worth of food at the Flying Fish. Good place to eat, kid-friendly. Probably my favorite dish there is the grilled tilapia, “make it snappy” (i.e. cover it in Cajun spice), with red beans and rice and grilled squash and zucchini.

Mud Island residents: Kooky Canuck owner and Mud Island resident Shawn just tweeted that the north end of Island Place has been closed to traffic due to river levels. Island Place is an interior street, different from Island Drive, the main north-south thoroughfare on the island.

Hope everyone made it home safely last night, and to work this morning. A friend of mine came in Bardog last night soaking wet. She’d been driving home, and as she got off I-40 at Riverside there were barricades and cop on a loudspeaker saying, “ABANDON YOUR VEHICLES AND TAKE COVER.” Wow. It was bad last night. Thanks to all the police officers who help keep us safe when the weather takes a turn for the worse.

Due to the storms, I didn’t make it to Ferraro’s last night for Tuesday trivia. Standing at a trolley stop is not my idea of fun when there’s lightning outside! Team members Katie Mac, Shawn, Josh and Nikki made it, and I hear reports that the format is very good. Congrats to the team on second place, and I can’t wait to try it next week!

Music Fest people-watching post is essentially done and I hope to get it online after work today. I have a second post (safety) that I’ll try to get up tomorrow.

Grizzlies game 5 vs. the Spurs tonight at 7:30. Lots of places Downtown to watch the game on TV, but you know what I’m thinking? I haven’t attended a Watch Party at FedExForum yet. Maybe it’s time to change that tonight. I’ll probably pre-game with a beer or two at the Saucer at 6, then wander down there. I’ll have my new Grizzlies-blue camera with me, and maybe I’ll take a few photos for the blog.

GO GRIZZLIES!!! Let’s end this in 5.

A Grizzlies Watch Party is scheduled for the FedExForum tomorrow night. Free to the public, free parking at the Toyota Parking Garage on Linden. Sit in the seats and watch the game on Grizz Vision, with food and drink available at concession stands and in Jack Daniels Old No. 7 Bar. Doors open at 6:30, game at 7:30. More info here.

(Edit: I typed this post this morning before work. Since then, the increasing threat of severe weather has forced me to change my tune from “will attend” to “maybe.” See the MemphisWeather.net blog for more information on the upcoming storms.)

Kevin Cerrito, host of the new Tuesday trivia night at Ferraro’s Pizzeria and Pub, has announced the weekly prizes.

1st place – $50 gift card
2nd place – $20 gift card
3rd place – $10 gift card
Best team name – pitcher of PBR

The team formerly known as the Rapscallions plans on being there. I say “formerly known” because we might as well compete for best team name. We have a team member who is very good at coming up with names. Ironically, he hates PBR. That’s OK though, I’ll drink it, and besides we have other team members who are always up for mooching a free beer.

To recap, the trivia night starts at 8 and will end around 10. Maximum 8 per team, which may force us to break into 2 teams. Ferraro’s is smoke free, but there’s a patio for those who are into inhaling cancer causing agents. Homemade New York-style pizza pies and excellent calzones.

Ferraro’s is on Jackson near the intersection of Main. Free parking.

Wonder if my team will get hit with a cell phone penalty. We don’t cheat, but some of our team members are bad about texting, tweeting, checking Facebook, playing Words with Friends, etc. during trivia.

I’m probably going to hit Bardog’s happy hour around 6, then walk or trolley to Ferraro’s a little after 7 if anyone wants to join. (Edit: If weather is bad, will just stick around Bardog, close to home.)

In 1927, the Mississippi River flooded and was 60 miles wide south of Memphis. 14% of Arkansas was under water at one point. It prompted Memphis Minnie to write the song “When the Levee Breaks,” made famous 43 years later when Led Zeppelin covered it.

If Minnie were still with us, the next couple of weeks would likely have provided her with a lot of songwriting inspiration. Riverside Drive wasn’t around in 1927, but ten years later, it was under water in the 1937 Mississippi River flood. Early next month, the river is predicted to experience the worst flood since 1937.

Music Fest will not be affected, but this is not good news for BBQ Fest and possibly Sunset Symphony.

Fast facts:

• Memphis in May’s electric bunkers are at 41.7 feet. A crest above that level could cause the electrical system to have to be pulled, leaving BBQ Fest teams to rely on generator power.
• Current forecast is for the river to crest at 44 feet on May 8, but that number is expected to be revised upward tonight. May 7 is the beginning of load-in and build for BBQ teams.
• Record river stage was 48.7 feet in 1937.
• 49 feet and Tom Lee Park would become part of the mighty Mississippi.
• The river would have to reach 56 feet to threaten homes on Mud Island.
• For those who don’t live in Memphis who are worried my neighborhood could be flooded, don’t. The Downtown Memphis core sits on a high bluff. Front Street and points east are safe.

Lots more information in these articles about the rising river:

• Memphis Daily News
• Commercial Appeal

This morning, I looked at Twitter, and one of the sports radio guys I follow made a very good point: Friday night, parking Downtown is going to be ridiculous. Tens of thousands will be going to Beale Street Music Fest; Game 6 of the Grizzlies-Spurs playoffs will surely sell out; and there’s a Redbirds home game that night. Parking garages will be jammed. I may have to leave work early just to make sure I get a space in my own parking garage.

I know the Grizzlies are preparing for the game tonight, but I’d like to ask them a favor: You guys can help alleviate the Downtown parking situation Friday night. All I need you to do is win tonight’s game, then win on the road at San Antonio Wednesday. If you do that, there won’t be a game Friday at FedExForum. That will provide considerable traffic/parking relief.

So, what do you say, can you help a brother out? After all, I did change my blog’s colors to Grizzlies colors.