Paul Ryburn's Journal

Last night I got invited to an awesome block party, even though it wasn’t my block. The condos on the block of South Main, Huling, Front, and Nettleton got together to throw a party from 6 to 10 yesterday evening, and as a friend of several of the condos’ residents, I got to come. They had food from The Majestic Grille and The Arcade, and there were two Flying Saucer kegs of beer.

About 5:55 PM as I was heading down there, I got a call from one of the event’s organizers. I knew they were getting two kegs, Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat and Pilsner Urquell. However, the tap they had would not work with the Pilsner, so they had to make a run to the distributor and substitute a second keg – and it happened to be Dos Equis Special Lager. So my two favorite beers from the Saucer were on tap at the party. NICE.

But here’s the weird thing… I ended up playing the role of the one person who stayed sober. For some reason I never got drunk at any point. Perhaps the food helped. Perhaps it’s because I was not doing keg stands as some of the other members of the group were. I have pictures and am very tempted to post them but I suppose I better not. Keg stands of Sunset Wheat? That’s just asking for trouble.

Several of the block’s residents came up and said they read my blog, and when I mentioned earlier in the week that I was going to a private party on Friday, they knew which one it was. Nice meeting you!

Music was provided by the West Tennessee Wife Swappers, who were absolutely excellent. The combination of the music and the beer got the crowd dancing and everyone was having a great time. The event organizers are talking about making the block party a twice-a-year event.

Most of the gang headed to Pearl’s after the party, and I thought about joining them, but then I thought, “You know, I just there last Saturday.” So instead I went to the Saucer, although I was there last Saturday as well. And last Friday and Thursday and Wednesday and Tuesday and Monday and Sunday and the 68 or so days before that. The Wife Swappers were playing there too. I took a seat on the planter that was propping open the doors between the outer Garden room and the indoor “nonsmoking” (bullshit) room and listened to the band.

You know, I really HATE Friday and Saturday nights. I much prefer to go out Monday through Thursday, and of course on Sundays for brunch. Last night it finally occurred to me why I hate weekend nights so much: People come out and try to do everything they can to show off their status. So as a result the bars are full of these stupid-ass dudes who use various strategies to show everyone that they’re high-status alpha males. One strategy is “talking shit,” pointing out other people in the bar and making disparaging remarks about them in an attempt to raise your own status by lowering theirs. Another strategy is “kicking some ass,” getting into fights with other bar patrons, because nothing says high status like bruises and a possible trip to jail. And, of course, there’s the most popular strategy of all, “getting some pussy,” which involves using pick-up routines you found on the Internet to get some hot chick who you care nothing about to go home with you, so you can prove what a stud you are. Yeah. These dudes are WINNERS. Really. They are.

So I just sat on the planter for a good 3 hours and listened to the band and basically didn’t give a shit what anyone in the damn bar thought of me. The place was just insanely busy last night, as people stopped by for a beer before heading to the Tigers’ Midnight Madness open practice at 12:01 AM.

The Saucer has a new beer which is pretty good. It’s Abita Pecan Harvest Ale, and it comes in bottles. It’s made with real Louisiana pecans. I guess I like it because it reminds me of when I was growing up and my grandparents had pecan trees in their backyard.

One of the bartenders told me they’re getting Yuengling on draft next summer. That should make “Vitamin Y” fans extremely happy, as I’ve been told that Yuengling on draft is entirely different than (and much better than) Yuengling in a bottle.

About 1 AM I moved into the indoor “nonsmoking” (bullshit) room to catch the last few innings of the Colorado Rockies vs. Some Other Team game with two of my friends who had shown up after the block party. God they were drunk. One of them has a 9 AM Saturday calculus class, and the math teacher in me was about to give him hell for being so drunk just hours before class time, but then he told me it was fall break, so it was all good in the ‘hood.

The waitress at whom I always stick my tongue out had closing shift, and I absolutely tortured her for the last hour. THHHHHPPPPPTTTTTT!!!!! I used to keep a respectful 4-foot-or-so distance when I’d do it, but now I’ll actually get like a foot from her face. Her reaction? She pretended like she hated it, then made an extra 15 or 20 trips past where I was standing so I could do it again. Women are weird. You can behave like a total jackass and they love it and come back for more.

Speaking of waitresses, I have it on good authority that the best Beer Goddess ever to set foot in the Flying Saucer will be back in two weeks. A lot of people thought they’d seen the last of this Goddess, but they were wrong. If you’ve read my blog for any length of time you know who I’m talking about.

My favorite blogger/MILF plans to get a bulldog this winter. She’s going to name it Peyton. She doesn’t even have the dog yet and I already hate it.

I ended last night with a Woodchuck Amber at McGuinness – Doggie Style had been the Fire Sale at the Saucer and I needed something sweet to get that bitter pale ale taste out of my mouth. The place was dead – a couple of Saucer regulars had migrated over there, and there were a bunch of drunk Texas de Brazil employees and that was it. McG has Yuengling now too. We’ll be there for brunch on Sunday, so maybe I’ll have one.

Still leaning toward a trip to Raiford’s tonight, although nothing is set in stone at this point. Considering a trip to Blue Plate Cafe for sausage biscuits right now.

Last night someone gave me details about a possible party tonight, but he didn’t know a whole lot about it so I’m throwing out a request to my readers for more info. He said he had heard there is going to be a King and Queen Condom or Mr. & Mrs. Condom costume party tonight at 8 PM at Earnestine & Hazel’s, and it’s being put on by Planned Parenthood.

Can anyone confirm that this is happening, or provide more info?

Back later with a summary of last night… fun night, for sure.

Here’s a site you might want to bookmark. Longtime readers of my blog know about it already.

RealClearPolitics

RCP offers latest poll data for all upcoming primaries, and they also aggregrate political commentary from both the left and right on a daily basis. Once the nominees are selected they’ll do a red-and-blue map showing which way states are leaning.

Based on their current poll data, it looks like we’re going to have Clinton vs. Giuliani in November 2008. Awesome. I can totally live with that, because either way we’d end up with a competent, qualified, intelligent president in the White House – something we haven’t had in six years.

If those are indeed the nominees, I wonder which way New York will go? NY is usually a state that’s safely in the Democratic column, but Giuliani could swing it the other way. On the other hand, Hillary will probably be able to turn Arkansas blue again, but that will hardly make up for New York which has 5 times the electoral votes.

To quote a bumper sticker: “America – Returning January 20, 2009.” Can’t wait.

That’s what I woke up to. Geez. It’s going to take me all day to catch up.

New Internet term that’s catching on: bacn (pronounced “bacon”). Bacn is mail you want to read, just not right now. It’s different from spam in that it’s not unsolicited – at some point in some way, you agreed for the mail to be sent. Examples of bacn in my Inbox right now: A daily pro wrestling newsletter, a summary of this week’s Memphis Business Journal, newsletters from several organizations around town that send me stuff to include in my blog, a note from TD Ameritrade on new tools to track my IRA, notification from GoDaddy that one of my domain names was automatically renewed.

The term “bacn” will likely make it into next year’s dictionary as an officially recognized word, as “spam” and “phishing” have in the past.

So, today I had lunch with my favorite blogger/MILF at Westy’s. I could tell she wasn’t in the best of moods, dealing with some personal stuff from earlier in the week that she hadn’t totally processed. So our conversation was not all it could have been… although, I agree, it was great to meet her. I think we’re going to be great friends once she gets her current situation handled. Also, her boobs were FANTASTIC. She suggested that next time, we meet at the Saucer or somewhere for beers, and I agreed. Excellent idea.

I had the wild rice dish with cheddar, mushrooms, bacon, and marinated chicken. Next time I think I’ll leave off the chicken. As I ate I was reminded of one of my favorite waitresses who says “cheese and rice” (rather than “J.C.”) when she’s upset. Everything in life relates to my waitresses somehow.

I dumped half the dish in a to-go box and walked the mile home with it. On the way 3 bums asked if they could have my leftovers, and asked for money too – lower than the estimates my favorite blogger/MILF threw out there. She said 6, I said 5.

Took a nap in the early PM, then got dressed and went to EP’s after stopping by the Saucer for one quick beer. Dressed up a little, with button-down shirt, nice jeans and a blazer. Just felt like it – I’m growing my hair out extra long for my Halloween costume once again and I thought the preppie dress would make an interesting counterpoint. There were a lot of people dancing at EP’s but for the most part I hung out in the upstairs watching it all with the bartenders and servers who had been cut. Really I felt like a fish out of water. I saw a lot of people on the dance floor who were big shots at the club and were taking full advantage of it, but who were nobodies (and knew it) anywhere else.

About 1 I got tired of it and started to walk home… hey, there’s McGuinness! So I went in and found one of my favorite Saucer bartenders, who had just got off, and another Saucer regular. Hung out with them for an hour and a half. I had hung out with neither of them previously, and it was very enjoyable to just chill out and have a beer and some good conversation, a 180 from the superficialness I had seen on the dance floor at EP’s earlier on.

Found out that EP’s is having a Halloween party on the 31st. Despite my less-than-perfect experience there tonight (not the club’s or band’s fault by the way, it’s just that the crowd sucked), I believe that one will be worth going to, simply because of the size of the venue (so it won’t get overcrowded) and because it will draw both Downtowners and people from other parts of the city.

New locals’ bar “Hoop’s Bar” to open in approximately 10 days. Details to come.

Also, Computer from Three 6 Mafia is working the turntables Wednesday nights at EP’s.

They’re supposed to come by and change my air filters tomorrow, and I don’t feel like being interrupted so I think I’ll take my laptop to the Second Street branch office to work. Look for me there in the early afternoon.

Drunk. Going to bed.

After almost a year of knowing each other only through e-mail and remarks on each others’ blogs, I’m finally going to meet my favorite blogger/MILF today. She started working Downtown recently and we’re going to meet for lunch. We had planned to meet a couple of times in the past, but in each case she had to cancel. This time, it’s on. Reading her blog the past couple of weeks has been a real education into how the female mind works.

I just read a bulletin of hers on MySpace. Last year she dressed up for Halloween as a sexy witch, but she ended up modifying the costume and became Drunk Girl Doing Jello Shots In Her Underwear. I am SO looking forward to meeting this girl.

Bought the John Lennon glass last night at the Saucer. It’s white with “WAR IS OVER if you want it” in black, which is kind of a boring glass but nevertheless is significant because it’s a replica of the bulletin boards John and Yoko took out around the world in 1969. I sat at the window facing Second Street near the pool table and watched bums, as I tend to do on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. On Tuesdays, I sit in the inside room and hold the rail nearest the door for my trivia team. One of the Saucer employees seems to have figured out my routine, as lately I’ve had the same waitress about 80% of the time, despite her being one of 6 girls on the floor on any given night.

Plans for the weekend:

• Garry Goin and G3 tonight at EP’s. I’ll get there about 11.
• Blessing of the Kegs at the Saucer tomorrow at 5, then a private party from 6 to 10, not sure after that. Possibly back to the Saucer to catch the West Tennessee Wife Swappers.
• Raiford’s on Saturday
• Brunch at McGuinness on Sunday

Florence Henderson, who played Carol Brady aka “Mom” on the TV show The Brady Bunch, will march the Peabody ducks tomorrow afternoon. At 4:45 the hotel’s Duckmaster will present Ms. Henderson with a certificate naming her an Honorary Duckmaster and a Peabody rubber ducky. Then at 5 the two Duckmasters will march the ducks out of the fountain, down a red carpet, into an elevator, and up to the ducks’ cage on the rooftop.

The event is open to the public, and I’m sure the place will be packed, so if you want a good viewing angle, better get there by 4 and save your spot.

When I go out, I always stick four or five index cards in my back pocket. The reason for this is that I frequently hear good stuff to blog about, and if I don’t write it down there’s a chance I’ll forget by the next morning. Last night the index cards paid off.

Couple of years ago I was up on my building’s rooftop, and one of my neighbors handed me a beer. “Here, Paul, try this.” It was a brand called Yuengling I had never heard of. I popped it open and took a sip.

“That’s REALLY good!” I told him. “This may be one of the best beers I’ve ever tasted.” Then I paused for a moment and asked, “How come I’ve never seen this for sale before? Is it a new beer?”

“No, it’s actually made by the oldest brewery in the U.S.,” my neighbor told me. “They just don’t distribute this far west. Every time I know someone who’s traveling to the Northeast, I give them money and have them bring me a case of Yuengling back. It has a huge following among people who know about it. They call it ‘Vitamin Y.'”

“Too bad they don’t sell it here,” I said. “I’d sure like to see this beer at the Saucer!”

So, fast forward to last night. My team showed up for trivia, sitting at our usual spot on the rail. Over at the end of the bar, we noticed a garbage can filled with iced-down bottles of beer. We asked around and were told that it’s a promotion for a new beer they’re going to be selling – none other than Yuengling. In addition to the traditional lager, there’s also a light version and a black & tan. And sure enough, a few minutes later one of the bartenders climbed up on a ladder (I love it when they do that) and added the three Yuengling beers to the “Just Landed” board.

This morning I totally forgot about Yuengling when I made my “quick update” post, but a few minutes ago I walked by my kitchen counter and saw a folded index card that read “Yuengling.” See, those cards really do help.

Glad to be able to add some Vitamin Y to my diet. Here’s to good health!

At least two more posts to come today, one concerning a famous mom and the other having to do with my battle against Corporate America.

Just made my morning run to Jack’s Food Store for caffeine. On the way back I rode up the elevator with a neighbor of mine, who happens to be a member of G3, the house band at EP Delta Kitchen.

“Coming out to hear the band tomorrow night?” he asked.

Well, twist my arm. Damn it! Going out to a bar and drinking was about the farthest thing I had in mind for my Thursday night plans. But you know, it’s important to support my neighbors in their creative ventures. So you know what, I’m going to do it. I’ll go.

I’ve been staying out until 11:30 or so recently then going home to bed, but since rooftop party season ended EP’s has tended to be more of a late-night place. So, tomorrow I’ll probably get there about 11 PM and stay until about 1:30. While there I hope to get more info about “Hoop’s Place,” another reason I may be spending less time at the Saucer in the near future. More details to come soon.

There are only two more weeks left in the Wednesday night “Bands, Beer and Bums” concert series in Court Square. Progressive rockers Aurora will headline tonight’s show. Unfortunately the Center City Commission only releases the name of the band that will be playing; they don’t release the names of the bums that will be working the park, so that part of the show will have to be a surprise. The action kicks off at 5:30 and lasts for three hours. The low tonight is predicted to be a chilly 49, so you might want to bring a sweatshirt or windbreaker.

Don’t forget that a week from today, Wendy’s will be in Court Square from 10 AM to 3 PM handing out free burgers as part of a national promotional tour. Friends and I were discussing this last night at trivia – it’s obvious that Wendy’s didn’t do any advance scouting of the location, or they would’ve picked someplace else. They’re definitely going to have their hands full. I hope I don’t have any client meetings next Wednesday morning, so I can go down there at 9:45 and watch the drama that will surely unfold.

I may not make it to the “Bands, Beer and Bums” concert tonight, and if I do I won’t be there for long. It’s John Lennon glass night at the Flying Saucer. I’ve seen the glass – this year they’re going with a “WAR IS OVER if you want it” theme. Glasses go on sale at 7, but this is one of those weeks where you better be there by 6:50 and tell the waitress or bartender that you want to get one the minute they go on sale. They’ll be gone in less than 10 minutes. Since this is not a glass night sponsored by a brewery, I believe there’ll be an extra charge for the glass, usually in the $3 range. (Don’t take my word for it on that price though, I don’t work there.)

My trivia team The Rapscallions had a rare finish out of the prize money last night, due to Pete asking some really stupid questions. (Stupid questions = ones we don’t know the answer to)

Here’s a link to a Memphis Business Journal article about the Downtown Blue Monkey, which is soon to reopen. As with the old bar, they’re doing all the work themselves, in order to recreate some of the atmosphere of the old Downtown Blue Monkey that made it feel like a home away from home. Unfortunately that means the completion date has been pushed back again – I had heard October, but they’re now saying it will open around Thanksgiving.

The Monkey’s opening will shake up the lives of a lot of Downtowners. It will definitely alter the Sunday brunch crew’s schedule, and the Saucer may even lose its status as my #1 hangout.

Thaddeus Matthews has new information about the Taylor Bradford murder. He says it was more than just a robbery – a love triangle existed involving Bradford and one of the accused murderers. Once again the CA got scooped by a blogger.

In other news: Nine hot girls who I’ve never met before want me to be their MySpace friend. WOOHOO! I’m POPULAR! And they all have webcam sites they want me to visit. For a small fee, of course. I better get the credit card ready! I’ve heard some of those sites install spyware and Trojan horses on people’s computers, but these seem like really nice girls, so I’m sure there won’t be a problem. Obviously I have a lot of web surfing to do, so I better hit Publish and get busy!