Semi-Charmed Kat does Sunday brunch

(Edited 10:00 pm August 17: Kat has requested that her pics be taken down after realizing what a large audience I have and who might see the incriminating evidence. I am honoring her requests. I don’t allow comments on my blog but ATTN PHILIP: If you have anything to say, e-mail me and it will be printed in full.)

This is one of the rare times on this blog when you’ll ever see me do this:

VULGARITY WARNING: There were a lot of juicy quotes from the Sunday brunch crowd, and some of them are not exactly rated G. Some would probably be rated X, or at least NC-17. If you prefer to read family-friendly posts, you should probably skip this one.

Fellow blogger Semi-Charmed Kat and her 38DD breasts joined me for brunch at Sleep Out Louie’s this past Sunday. As I mentioned earlier, Sunday promised to be a brunch extravaganza because bartender extraordinaire Emma was back on the morning shift for one week only. Not only did Kat feel right at home, but she provided much of the entertainment and blog-worthy quotes. Let’s start with some pictures:

(Edited: All pics of Kat have been removed.)

One of the regulars brought in a cute baby. Here’s Emma, one of the most awesome people to ever set foot behind a bar, with the baby.

(Edited: Kat didn’t tell me to take the quotes down.)

All right, that’s it for pics. Let’s move on to some classic Kat quotes. Once again: IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH VULGAR LANGUAGE OR TOPICS, STOP READING NOW. I have a feeling that my mother won’t be saying “Paul, I would love to have Kat as a daughter-in-law” anymore after reading these.

As we ate and drank, the NASCAR race was on TV and someone mentioned that Rusty Wallace’s slogan, in conjunction with Miller Lite, is “We race for beer.” Kat: “The only thing better would be, ‘we race for dick.'”

Then we brought out the video crack boxes and started playing NTN Trivia. Kat tried to log in and it wouldn’t accept DDKAT (in honor of her breasts) as her player name. “Name unacceptable,” it told her. She had to settle for the much more tame KATDD.

In this quote Kat gives away the fact that she lives in East Bumblefuck and is therefore, by definition, boring. I told her that she’d have to see the dance I do when I win at NTN Trivia, and Kat responded, “You’ll have to do the Microsoft Excel dance I do at work.”

Then we started doing duck farts, the potent concoction of Bailey’s, coffee liqueur, and whiskey that has become a Sleep Out’s tradition.
Me: “Duck fart?”
Kat: “No! Those taste like asshole. And I should know.”

Kat: “I’m not a sex bomb, I’m more like a sex bottle rocket.”
Otto: “Quick and fast, with a bang at the end.”

Otto commented that he doesn’t like Jello shots. “I just don’t like big, thick liquid.”
Kat: “That’s my job.”

And those were the best of the quotable quotes. In other news: Downtown is Number One! Eyewitness News 24 reports that Downtown is the top spot for flashers. Along with Brooks Road, more people expose themselves Downtown than in any other part of Memphis. What an honor to be mentioned in the same breath as Brooks Road. I have seen Woman Without Pants, mentioned in Channel 24’s story, several times downtown, including one day when the circus was going on and there were a lot of children out on the streets.

That’ll do it for now. I’ve been at the Second Street branch office for three hours now, and it’s Elvis glass night (I actually participated in “buy the beer, waste money on the glass” for once) and it’s getting crowded. Time to pack up the laptop and sit back and enjoy the scenery.