Fri update: North Korea, Trolley Tour/events on South Main, funny band name, Grizzlies, a couple of bars open Easter during the day

This morning I woke up to the news that North Korean leader Kim Jong-un is planning to launch missiles at the U.S. mainland. Okay, let’s be realistic here. The only part of the U.S. that North Korean missiles could reach are the Aleutian Islands, the volcanic chain that extends westward from Alaska. So yeah Kim, go ahead and attack us. Polar bears must die for U.S. imperialism!

South Main Trolley Tour is tonight from 6 to 9 PM. Most of the shops and galleries will be open during that time. Some will offer special discounts, and some will serve hors d’oeuvres, beer, and wine to their guests (free food? Wonder if the Nuh-Uh Girl will show up). There will be live performers and art demonstrations on the street. The South Main Association will sell beer, and if you’re an SMA member there will be free beer and hot wings (and possibly burgers) for you in the parking lot next to Bluff City Coffee.

Tonight is also the grand opening of the Downtown Candle Company. It’s on G.E. Patterson between the Arcade Restaurant and Cheesecake Corner.

Trolley Tour night will also see the South Main Design Challenge Concept Unveiling. Teams have put together ideas for vacant and under-utilized spaces in the South Main area, including the vacant lot at Talbot and Main. Hey, who sez that lot is under-utilized? I remember walking by several years ago and seeing a couple have sex on that lot after a night at Raiford’s. They were certainly making good use of that space. Anyway, I hear there are some very cool and creative concepts for those areas, so come check ’em out.

Circa Survive and Minus the Bear will be at the New Daisy at 7 PM tonight. I know that’s a band, but it kinda sounds like Chef John Bragg is making a hostile attempt to reclaim his former restaurant space on Main.

The Grizzlies host the Rockets tonight at the FedExForum at 7.

I’m still hearing people say, “I kind of want to go to the KKK rally, just to see what one is like.” Here’s a suggestion: Get on YouTube and search for “kkk rally.” But PLEASE don’t go tomorrow. Every person present adds legitimacy to what those hate-filled imbeciles are trying to accomplish. Plus, with all the different groups down there, MPD Director Toney Armstrong described the situation as a powder keg waiting to explode. That doesn’t sound like a good place to be. You know, last week I wanted to see lions fight crocodiles. But I didn’t get on a plane to Kenya and sit on the banks of the Nile. I used YouTube. Do the same for the KKK rally. As the poster says, Keep calm and carry on. As KC and the Sunshine Band says, Please don’t go.

For those more interested in going to a bar than to church on Easter Sunday, I’ve confirmed that Bardog will open at 11 AM as usual that day. I will probably lead off there and avoid the massive Easter brunch crowd that is likely to hit the Majestic. I’ll have my Sunday best on for Easter. And by that I mean, shorts and flip flops. Max’s Sports Bar will open early both days this weekend: 2:30 on Saturday and 12:30 on Sunday.

There was a guy dressed as the Easter Bunny at the Silly Goose and Blind Bear last night when I was there. I heard earlier he’d been sitting in the window at the Saucer. No idea why. Several people posed for pictures with him.

All right, it’s lunch time. I’ll be out at the bars about 5:30, probably starting at the Silly Goose for $1.50 happy hour PBR.