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Yesterday I heard the perfect description of BBQ Fest: “Spring break for grown-ups.” I couldn’t put it any better than that.

The first open-to-the-public day of BBQ Fest was awesome. I pre-gamed at the Saucer and the Bear, stealing our sponsor the Blind Bear’s mayorship on Foursquare. Then I headed down to the park.

Judging for Best Booth happened not long after we got there. I was sure we were a lock for it but we did one thing wrong: We had the Philippines flag UPSIDE DOWN. There are Filipino judges and we more or less insulted their country. Just terrible. We got third and I was surprised they gave us that.

Anyway, here are some pics. Other than the flag yesterday just may have been the best day I have ever spent at BBQ Fest.

Horror movie starring Uncle Ray

Beer can chicken

As much as I like to brag that the Moody Ques have the best booth in the park, I have to admit our friends at Squeal Street had us beat in at least two ways: 1) Saucer girls behind the bar and 2) THIS. Misting cooling fan. It felt SOOOOOO good in the 90 degree heat. Team: We need one of these next year.

Mary Pat

Moe, Larry and Curly assembling a garden cart. No kidding, this comedy of errors lasted more than an hour. They put the entire thing together backwards and had to re-do it.

BBQ chicken

Mustard sauce

Nice use of pins from our sponsor WordPress, which happens to be the content management system that powers this blog and 15 million other websites.

Beer can chicken in the smoker

Tube top dresses. THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE, PEOPLE.

Chelsea knows what’s up, rocking the green tube top.

She’s bringing me the new flavor of Doritos and she has a tube top dress on. WINNING.

Misty

Michael Bean explains to the bartender how to be incredibly annoying at a poker table

Signature cocktail by the Blind Bear

Marcus Hunter and Ruchee. Catch Marcus on MemphiSport Live on Sports 56 from 11 AM-1 PM Saturdays.

Hannah, Kyla, and Maddison on our rooftop deck

We’re not on the riverside, but our booth is tall enough that we have a river view anyway.

Ciara and Mark

Two of my favorite Downtowners, Karen and Dennis.

Like me, Uncle Ray appreciates tube tops and tube top dresses.

Quick night-time visit to Squeal Street. Murphy’s Law of BBQ Fest: As soon as I got to Squeal Street, several people I invited to my own booth showed up, and I had to run back over there and let them in.

Rebekah knows what’s up.

Morgan doing a fine job representing our sponsor the Blind Bear in a tube top dress.

Okay, time for a mini-rant: People get mad at me for taking candid photos rather than posed ones, for the most part. This photo is an example why candid photos are better. You don’t get stuff like this when you allow people time to pose. This is awesome.

BBQ FEST DONE RIGHT.

Full album (184 photos) can be found here.

I was hitting the beer hard early in the day, from 11 on. By 5 or 6 I was nearly worn out and falling asleep on my feet. But I remembered the advice of our inspirational leader/father figure: “IT’S A MARATHON, PAULANATOR, NOT A SPRINT.” From that point on I made a recovery. By midnight I was dancing with some friends in The Hogfather’s tent, and amazingly I was the most sober one of the group. Not sure how that was possible.

And now it’s time to do it all again. Saucer at 11, park at 12.

One of my readers continues to be completely lame. Yesterday I texted her, saying that I’d shown her picture to some of my teammates and we all agree that she needs to wear a tube top to BBQ Fest every day. She replied back that she only has one tube top. I know for a fact this is not true, because she emailed me a photo of her in a yellow tube top with black trim a while back, as proof that she does indeed own one. Then she texted me a pic of her in a red tube top. So, she could at least get through Thursday and Friday. Plus she has a “bestie” who has many tube tops she could borrow. She’s simply offering more of the same – excuses. It’s getting old.

So last night she texted me, “I went to Gordman’s and Kohl’s tonight in hopes of a new tube top. Tried on 3. Didn’t like.” I appreciate the effort but she’s doing it wrong. She needs to drive across the bridge to West Memphis Wal-Mart and find a $4 white tube top in the clearance bin. That is all the effort that needs to be expended on appropriate BBQ Fest attire. Sadly I don’t think she will ever get it.

Okay, let’s get on to the news. If you want BBQ, you don’t even have to go to Tom Lee Park to get it. There will be free samples of BBQ outside Shelton Clothiers, with Garland Jack’s Secret Six sauces. They have original recipe, sweet brown sugar, hickory spice, and smoky molasses sauces. Samplings will be 12-5 today and tomorrow and 10-2 Saturday. Free food? Wonder if the Nuh-Uh Girl will show up.

The Nuh-Uh Girl, by the way, told me last night that I’ve been “obnoxious” about tube tops lately on the blog. Yeah and she’s not obnoxious about eating or anything. I heard she went over to Squeal Street and ate pretty much everything but the tent last night. Of course, she had a huge meal in our booth too.

If you’re not going to BBQ Fest tonight, there are several good outdoor parties happening Downtown. Lord T and Eloise play the Peabody rooftop tonight. 6-11 PM, $10 cover that includes your first drink, ladies free until 7.

On the Madison Hotel’s rooftop, there will be the soulful sounds of Brian “Breeze” Cayole rooted in jazz, R&B, and rock. $7 cover, 7-11 PM, cash bar, small plates, sunset views.

The “Retro on the Patio” series continues at Bleu tonight at 6 PM. They will celebrate the blues (bleus) with the sounds of Daddy Mack on the patio.

There’s free admission to BBQ Fest from 11 to 1 today if you don’t feel like paying. It’s not crowded at lunchtime and you have a much better chance of being invited into booths and getting something to eat than if you go at 9 PM tonight. Take an extra long lunch, you deserve it!

We had a fun Friends & Family night in the booth last night. Double J did a fish fry for us, with grouper bites, jambalaya, and fries. Can’t wait to see what’s in store for us today. I have a little bit of legit team business to take care of this morning, and of course I have to have one or two pre-festival beers at the Saucer. Should be in the booth around 12:30.

The always-entertaining Tony Allen will be on the Chris Vernon Show at 3 PM today. If the Grizzlies guard is half as entertaining on radio as he is on Twitter, it will be a fun time indeed. Listen at AM 730 in Memphis or online.

The Fuel food truck tweeted that it was parked at the Barking Lot at Main and Jefferson, and that they had taco salads. I took a walk down there.

The tacos salads are actually just variations of their regular tacos, with more lettuce. Since I’ve never tried the Fuel truck before, I decided to order what is probably their most famous item, the bison tacos, in regular format rather than as a salad.

I was definitely happy with my purchase. The ground bison meat was tasty, and well accented with pico, cilantro, and sour cream. What really made this meal stand out, though, was the soft tortilla shells in which the tacos were double-wrapped. They were yummy and added a Mexican flair to the dish.

There were a wide variety of sauces and seasonings to add to your food.

A really good lunch that hit the spot, and that will put some “fuel” in my tank for the afternoon until I can get to BBQ Fest. If you haven’t had a chance to try the Fuel truck, I definitely recommend you do next time it’s in your neighborhood.

A funny side note: The people in the truck asked if I was “that guy who is always tweeting about tube tops.”

The National Ornamental Metal Museum is doing a demo in Court Square right now, so if you get food truck fare and want to eat outside, that would be something interesting to watch.

All right, it’s almost time to party! I’ve got to get a few errands done, then it will be time to hit the Saucer for some pre-BBQ beers.

Today’s news post begins with a piece of very good news. The City Council has given initial approval to a $2 million funding plan that would fill in a financial gap needed to save the Chisca Hotel. A group plans to convert the hotel to apartments, with retail space on the ground floor. The hotel sits vacant at a key intersection, Main at Dr. Martin Luther King Avenue, the gateway between the core and South Main. The MBJ has the full story. SAVE THE CHISCA!

In other Downtown news, the cobblestones along the river are about to undergo a $6 million renovation. A plaza and a fountain at the foot of Union will be added. More details in this Daily News article.

Interesting post I saw on Facebook this morning: Which birthdays are most common? Mine’s about average. September is a huge month for birthdays, apparently.

Also seen on Facebook: 5 tips for pairing cheap beers with personal failures. See, beer goes with everything!

Fuel Food Truck is headed to the Barking Lot at Main and Jefferson, and they have taco salads. Sounds like LUNCH to me! They’ll be ready to go at 11:15.

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know that I’m partial to Eastern Europeans. Romanians in particular, but I’ve also mentioned Estonians, Latvians, Lithuanians, and Moldovans.

However, yesterday it was the Polish who stepped it up. One of my Facebook friends is on vacation in Florida, and posted a photo of herself. I asked for, and received, permission to re-post the pic here, to serve as an example to others.

Three words. TUBE. TOP. DRESS. If you’re trying to pick out what to wear to BBQ Fest, let this serve as an example to you. This is how it’s done. God bless the Polish. That thing that happened in the 18th century where the Russians, Prussians, and Austrians carved up their country was total B.S.

It amazes me how come people don’t get it. Yesterday afternoon I texted a friend who had to go out of town for a few hours. “When you get back, put on a tube top and come hang out at the Blind Bear,” I told her. So I was at the Bear, but about 11 I decided to walk over to Huey’s for Paul’s Drunkass Food. Not 30 seconds after I ordered a Heinz 57 burger and fries, I got a text. “I’m at the Bear,” she said.

“Do you have a tube top on?” I replied.

“No”

Seriously. SERIOUSLY??? You expect me to walk away from $10 of food when you’re not even going to dress appropriately? I know I’ve been ranting on this a lot lately, and it’s not even Tube Top Month yet and I apologize to my readers for having to endure it. But certain people just are not getting with the program and it’s irritating me to no end.

All right. It’s BBQ Fest. Let me explain what happens tonight. Thursday-Saturday the park is open to the public, but teams can buy tickets for the Wednesday “Friends & Family Night” private party. There’s a maximum of 50 tickets per team. Sounds like a lot, but when you have a team with 37 members and 4 sponsoring organizations, tickets can be scarce. It’s hard enough to get tickets for every team member, much less spouses and friends. We’ve always found a way to make it work though.

I have not yet seen our booth, but I hear that Holliday Flowers totally rocked it and it far exceeds the 2009 and 2010 booths they did for our old team. I will take lots of photos tonight. Our booth is almost all the way to the south, literally about 4 booths from the southernmost tip. We’re on the bluff side, not the river side, but our booth is so tall that it has a river view. Our friends at Squeal Street are about a 2 minute walk away.

Park opening time is 5:30 tonight, but as always I like to pre-game at the Saucer. I’ll probably get there about 2:30 if anyone wants to meet up. Tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday I’ll pre-game at the Saucer at 11 AM.

This just in: I have a request from the captain of the Squeal Street team. He has asked me to remind everyone that due to park conditions, everyone needs to wear comfortable clothes to BBQ Fest. Tube tops would be your best bet. So there you have it. It’s not just me, it’s BBQ team captains offering that advice.

I’ll be back later today with a news post. Right now it’s time to shower, wash my team shirt, and charge all the spare batteries for the Tube Top Cam. Tonight I’ll try to get some pics of the booth posted to Facebook and Twitter.

Nap time at the Goose

Kevin Cerrito and Ciara in Grizzlies headband. Kevin, by the way, hosts trivia tonight at Ferraro’s Pizzeria and Pub. Prizes for the winners and for the best team name, and $1 PBR and Rolling Rock. 8 PM start time.

Beth and Amanda at the Blind Bear

Kelly and her dad at the Bear. As usual, no tube top and plenty of excuses from Kelly.

Otto with his hair braided

Pizza from the Goose. The Silly Goose changed its menu about three weeks ago and really expanded their pizza selection. This is the Mexican/southwestern pizza (can’t remember its exact name). You can get it with chicken or beef.

In other news, if you’re wondering where the black smoke was coming from this morning Downtown, there was a junkyard fire at Chelsea and Breedlove.

Congratulations to the Oklahoma City Thunder on whipping the L.A. Lakers last night, beating them by 29. Also congrats to James Harden on winning the NBA Sixth Man of the Year award. Harden, of course, returned recently from a concussion thanks to a vicious elbow by Ron Artest near the end of the regular season. When asked if he would shake Harden’s hand before the game, Artest said that he doesn’t shake hands with substitutes. Artest should have changed his name to Metta World Piece, because he’s the biggest piece of shit in the NBA.

Lunch plans have been decided. The Scratch food truck is parked at Second and Court. Follow them on Twitter at @MobileScratch.

I’m going to start today with a link to the MemphisWeather.net forecast. Look at Thursday-Saturday, the three days BBQ Fest is open to the public. Mostly sunny, all 3 days. Upper 80s Thursday, near 90 Friday and Saturday. Mid 60s at night, and really it will still be in the 70s when the park closes and dip into the 60s about 5 AM. With a forecast like this, there is no excuse for not wearing a tube top. NONE.

Guy Fieri was in town last week filming an episode of his Food Network Show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. He visited six Memphis-area restaurants – see this Daily News blog post for details – and two of them were Downtown. South of Beale and Rizzo’s Diner were among the restaurants to receive a visit. Can’t wait to see the show. Michael Patrick invited me to be part of the filming for Rizzo’s but I couldn’t get away from work. If you haven’t been to SOB and Rizzo’s, you’re missing out on some mighty good food. By the way, Rizzo’s announced that they now have the back room air conditioned and can accept large parties of 20-25.

Last night I was surfing Facebook on my phone, and one of the Downtown Blue Monkey’s regulars posted that they’ve booked Jeremy Stanfill to play Saturday night. What a MASSIVE improvement over a year ago when they had karaoke on Saturdays. The Monkey may actually be on my radar for something to do after BBQ Fest wraps up at 10 Saturday night. What a pleasure it will be to hear a professional musician there. A year ago you’d walk in and think you were hearing a cat who just had its tail stepped on… then you’d realize it was Robo singing “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.”

By the way, for those of you who miss karaoke, you can get your fill of it Wednesdays at Thai Bistro on Madison. But a better plan would be to walk across the street for Diamond Dave’s bingo night at the Brass Door.

In other live music news, 1960s British Invasion band Jeffrey and the Pacemakers will bring the jangle to Downtown Huey’s Sunday night at 8:30.

Historian Jimmy Ogle leads a free walking tour of the Pinch District at 11:45. Meet at the Main & Overton trolley stop.

Councilman Edmund Ford has proposed a $2 million grant to help redevelop the Chisca Hotel into apartments. It would go along with the $17 million in private funds investors have raised. Details here. This is perhaps our last chance to save the Chisca. I hope it works out.

I walked past the future home of Aldo’s Pizza Pies yesterday. Progress is coming along nicely and I hear they will be hiring soon.

Last night I returned to Silly Goose poker for the 7:30 game, and my run of bad luck continued. With people out for BBQ Fest it was a smaller game than usual, just one 8-handed table in play. I made it all the way to heads up, and on about the third hand of two-handed play I was dealt 4-3. That’s not a great hand but when you’re heads up you have to relax your starting hand standards. So I called and the flop came 5-6-7. Of course, I was very happy to go all-in with that flop! My opponent called with top pair and a draw to a higher straight – an absolutely beautiful call because there were so many cards that could improve her to the best hand. By the river she’d hit a full house to win and claim the $50 gift certificate prize.

Earlier in the evening, I’d been at Pint Nite at the Saucer. One of the girls who’d been working day shift and was now off duty came in with a friend, both wearing tube top dresses. THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE, PEOPLE. Tube tops and tube top dresses. In other Saucer news, Amy told the UPS guy that he has a big package.

I wrapped up the evening with a burger at the Blind Bear. Not just any burger, but one topped with pepper jack cheese. Damn Michael Bean can cook. I think, however, that Bean should supplement his income by publishing a book titled “101 Ways to Be a Pest at the Poker Table.”

All right, time to hit Publish and jump in the shower. I’ll be at happy hour at the Saucer at 4, poker with Jamie at the Bear at 8. Undecided where to eat lunch as of yet.

Yeah, I know I promised interesting posts this week but I just don’t have much fuel in the tank for it today. Let’s just get to the news.

The Memphis Business Journal reports that the USFL is making a comeback (maybe) and if it happens, Memphis is on the short list for a football team. The league existed in the 1980s and brought pro football to the spring and summer months. Fun fact: Pro wrestler Lex Luger played for the Memphis USFL franchise that was here in the ’80s.

The Blind Bear has added live entertainment on Mondays. Martin & Taylor take the stage at 7 and play until 10.

Wilco plays the Mud Island Ampitheater Saturday. Buy tickets here.

All right, time to go outside and see if there are any food trucks around. If not I’ll probably walk down to Bleu and try the build your own sandwich menu.