Paul Ryburn's Journal

The finals of the International Blues Challenge happen today at the Orpheum at noon, with doors opening at 11:30. An IBC pass or single finals ticket is required for entry.

If you want the blues to continue once the finals are over, there will be a Generation Blues Benefit Showcase hosted by the Andy T Band at the Hard Rock tonight at 9. A gathering of guest artists will keep the music going. Suggested $10 donation at the door.

Down the street at Rum Boogie Cafe, the VizzTone 10th Anniversary Blues Party on Beale starts at 10:30 tonight and continues into the late hours. Artists who will play the party include VizzTone and BratGirlmedia artists Kenny Neal, Little Boys Blue, Tas Cru, Long Tall Deb & Colin John, Jonn Del Toro Richardson, Amanda Fish Band, Amy Hart, Brad Stivers, Little G Weevil, Erin Harpe & the Delta Swingers, Tim Gartland, Jimmy Carpenter, Timo Arthur, and Richard Rosenblatt.

In other stuff going on today, the Bluff City Fire and Ice Polar Bear Plunge & Chili Cook-off happens today on Mud Island. The event benefits the Special Olympics.

Going to see Garth Brooks today? If you’re going to the 3 PM concert, FedExForum advises you to vacate your parking spaces within 30 minutes of the end of the show to avoid traffic congestion. They are also encouraging those with 7:30 tickets to not come Downtown until 6:30 or later. Of course people won’t actually do this and Downtown traffic will be a freakin’ mess from about 2:00 on.

I’ve learned of another very cool event happening at the Wiseacre brewery in April. On the 15th of that month, the brewery will host the Kaleidoscope Food Festival, a much-needed celebration of diversity in these times. Binghampton, in which Wiseacre is located, is one of the most diverse neighborhoods in the city. There will be storytelling, performance, and also food by these vendors: Indra’s Dumplings (Nepal), Ibti’s Soups (North Sudan), Aroma Kitchen by Flora & CC (South Sudan, Kenya), Raffe’s (Syria) and possibly more to come. Experts will be on hand at the festival to pair Wiseacre beer with your food. This is a family- and dog-friendly event.

Tin Roof is adding a room called The Green Room which will have a “hangout” kind of vibe. The new room will have ping-pong, foosball, and two 70-inch TV screens.

NewMemphis has some jobs open, including a Communication Coordinator position.

High Ground News has a good article on an exhibit by artwork created by the homeless at a gallery at 645 Marshall. The artists create their work as part of a program at St. Mary’s Episcopal. The artworks at the gallery are for sale and the gallery takes a significantly smaller cut of each purchase than most galleries would.

Take this survey and you can influence the future of public transportation in Memphis.

Max’s Sports Bar has announced that they will have a ton of free giveaways at their Super Bowl watch party tomorrow. Watch the game there and the chances are high you will come away with some free stuff. Just last night I was down at my “home away from home on the south side.” As the weather gets warmer I plan to spend more time at Max’s.

Small businesses can apply for one of the micro-retail spots going into Edge Alley at 600 Monroe. As I reported yesterday, there will also be a cafe and coffee roaster in this location.

In a surprise to just about no one, Riverfront Grille, the restaurant inside Beale Street Landing, is bleeding money. The taxpayer-funded restaurant is closed until spring while the RDC “rethinks” the concept. My advice to RDC: Ask Prince Mongo what should be done with the building. It couldn’t be any worse than what the RDC has done.

Whole lotta adulting going on at the Ryburn household this morning. Doing laundry. Flipped the mattress. Poured a bottle of Drano Dual Force Foamer down the tub drain. After discovering recently that there’s a clothing donation box right up the street from where I work, I am bagging up all the clothes that have been sitting on my bedroom floor for a few years to take down there. I found my “COCKAWHAT?” shirt that Cockadoos gave me back when they were open. Does anyone want it? It’s a size XL, white shirt with blue neck, sleeves, and lettering. Email me at paul@paulryburn.com or hit me up on Facebook if you want it. Must arrange to meet me where I am to pick it up (and “where I am” is usually at a bar).

My troll got a new sister this week!

My friend Mark H. found her at OfficeMax and got her for me. I looked it up and learned that her name was Poppy in the movie, but I am going to give her a unique name. I haven’t fully figured it out yet, but her middle initial and last name will probably be T. Ropez because she’s a troll and a PEZ dispenser.

Time to finish bagging clothes, pour water down the drain to flush out the Drano, then I’m off to Bardog and Blind Bear for the usual Saturday festivities. Today should be an interesting people-watching day down here. Back tomorrow with more news.

The semifinal round of the International Blues Challenge happens at clubs on Beale Street tonight. Don’t have plans yet for Friday night? Come listen to some of the best blues in the world. This is a once-in-a-year opportunity in Memphis. There will be a wristband for sale on the street that will get you into all the participating clubs.

Toby Sells of the Memphis Flyer has news on three Downtown projects that will get underway in the months to come. I want to touch on each one.

I am super excited about the food hall going in at 409 S. Main. More and more this is starting to sound like the food hall where I ate at Little Rock’s River Market two days last week. It will be a hub where you and your friends can each get the type of food you want from different vendors and then sit down in a common place. This could get me to South Main more often if done well.

Also excited to see the boutique hotel in the former Memphis College of Art building. This will be the beginning of South Main becoming a tourist destination. Imagine visiting from out of town and having a one-block walk to Earnestine & Hazel’s for a Soul Burger!

A space for a cafe, coffee roaster, and micro-retailers will open at 600 Monroe next to High Cotton, bringing dining back to that neighborhood. Happy to see The Edge begin to evolve. I look forward to spending some time in Edge Alley once this space gets open!

Going to the Garth Brooks concert tonight or one of the concerts tomorrow? If you don’t want to deal with high parking prices and congested traffic around FedExForum, come park for free on the streets in the area around Main and G.E. Patterson and come to Max’s Sports Bar. A limo will shuttle you to and from the concert. If you want to pre- or post-game, Max’s has a full bar, great sandwiches, sports on 10 TVs and the PBR is always $2.50 a pint. Max’s is located in the easternmost end of the Arcade building at 115 G.E. Patterson.

Want to see an NBA D-League team come to the Mid-South in 2017? Vote with your dollars and let the NBA know! Put down your seating deposit here.

Front Street Deli is for sale. The deli at Front and Union has been owned by Carol and Lance Silkes since 2013. However, they also have a limo food tour business and Carol is an instructor at the University of Memphis, so it is all too much to handle. They’re looking for a prospective owner who loves Memphis, food, and people.

Save the date for what sounds like a very cool beer festival in the Broad Avenue district on Saturday, April 29. From 3 to 7 that day Taste the Rarity, an invitational beer fest involving 30 craft breweries, will happen in Wiseacre’s parking lot or if it rains, inside their taproom. Each attendee gets a commemorative taster class. The Mighty Souls Brass Band will provide the live music, and there will be backyard games and food trucks. For its part, Wiseacre will release UNICORNICOPIA that day. It is described as a paloma inspired Belgian Single aged in tequila barrels. Tickets will be $50 through the end of February, then will go up to $60. Buy tickets here.

This story about Heartsong Church and the Memphis Islamic Center makes me proud to be a Memphian, and an American.

Beer lovers/Grizzlies lovers: Get you a Grind City growler.

Mark your calendars on Feb 9!

Purchase a limited edition growler at @madisongrowler presented by Cash Saver.
➡️️: https://t.co/cObmMTwCzS pic.twitter.com/0c3IJqNHfU

— Memphis Grizzlies (@memgrizz) February 2, 2017

In other beer news, Ghost River has three new beers fresh on the market.

From the CA: John Beifuss crawls inside the 125-year-old pipe organ at Clayborn Temple to determine if it can be saved. (photos/video)

Miss Polly’s at 154 Beale is looking to hire two new cooks. You need to be able to pass a drug screen and come to work on time. They ask that you apply in person and do not have pajamas on when you apply (seriously, somebody did that).

Back tomorrow with more news. I’ve got some good stuff in the pipeline for tomorrow’s post.

Downtown is going to be busy the next three days, as Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood come to FedExForum. Shows are tonight at 7:30, tomorrow at 7, and Saturday at 3 and again at 7:30.

The Silly Goose has started a fun new promotion on Grizzlies game nights. Most of you have probably heard of “squares,” where you put your name in one of the squares on a 10×10 square board. Right before the game starts, digits 0-9 are randomly placed at the left and top of the board. If at a certain time, the combination of the Grizzlies’ score and the opponent’s score intersects at your square, you win. The game is free to play and each customer gets four squares. If the score matches your square at the end of the first quarter, you win a $10 gift card; $25 gift card for the halftime score; $10 card for the score at the end of the third quarter; and $50 card for the final score. You must be present to win.

Here is a copy of President Trump’s Black History Month program of events. In case you missed it, Trump spoke at the National Prayer Breakfast this morning and said he wanted to pray for Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “Apprentice” ratings, which are lagging woefully behind those of his own. Nope, that’s definitely not narcissistic behavior or anything.

Charvey Mac will play the Blind Bear Friday night. I know a lot of my friends will be excited about a rare Charvey appearance at the Bear.

Something I learned yesterday that I didn’t know: Miss Cordelia’s gives you 25 cents off your grocery purchase for every reusable bag you use. You also have the option of donating the savings to charity.

A study has found that eating ice cream for breakfast may improve mental performance and alertness.

If you have any reason to travel to Little Rock and are a fan of craft beer, you might want to make note of this tweet:

Yes, we have 8 breweries in a 4 square mile area. Come visit. Bring comfortable shoes. @ExploreNLR @CityLittleRock pic.twitter.com/uq1Nz6dVbe

— Woo Pig Brewey! (@WooPigBrewey) February 2, 2017

The @WooPigBrewey account is a good one to follow to keep up with craft beer in Arkansas, some of which could eventually expand to the Memphis market.

Back at work today, and this is something I never thought I would say but it feels good to be sitting in this cubicle. It feels like things are getting back to normal in my life. I will continue my normal behavior with stops at the Silly Goose and Blind Bear after work. No I am not going to any of the Garth Brooks shows. Back tomorrow with more news.

The Blue Suede Brigade, the friendly folks who walk the streets of Downtown helping tourists find their way, is getting a shake-up. Their employer the Downtown Memphis Commission is going to phase out the mostly part-time positions and create 10 to 15 new full-time positions. The Brigade will have security added to its duties, will be given bicycles, and will have Sunday added to their schedule. That’s a big change and I hope it is a successful one.

The Blues Foundation will present a drumming clinic with Danny Banks tomorrow, February 2, at the Blues Hall on Beale Street 2 to 3:30. By the way, with everything going on with my mom and all, I totally forgot to mention yesterday that the International Blues Challenge has begun! Some of the best blues in the world will be right here on Beale Street through Saturday. There’s usually a wrist-ticket that will get you in all the participating clubs for one low price.

Friday night at Loflin Yard, in the barn they will re-visit the tributes they did in 2016 for David Bowie, Prince, and the Talking Heads. Show starts at 10 PM.

Protest meets art Saturday at the Marshall Arts Gallery in The Edge. Women’s March Protest Signs will be on exhibit from 4 to 6 in the afternoon. There will also be a station where you can write postcards to your representatives in Washington.

The Memphis Zoo is hiring for seasonal positions for the spring and summer. Many different types of positions are open. Apply online here.

Ghost River is kicking off a Wednesday Pub Poll in its taproom tonight from 7 to 9. What’s that? Think of a Family Feud-style contest, where you try to guess the most popular answers. Tonight’s winner gets 4 tickets to an upcoming Grizzlies game.

There will be a workshop called i.LOOM.ination at Stock & Belle at 387 S. Main, Saturday, February 11 from 11 to 3. Learn the basics of weaving and create your own custom tapestry in this 4-hour class. No prior experience is necessary. Only 10 spots are open in the class, so if you want to sign up, don’t delay.

The Hollywood Feed on Union is having a pet microchipping event on Sunday, March 5. $20 per pet, cash or card accepted. If your pet gets lost and it ends up at the shelter, they will scan for a microchip and make sure your pet is returned to you.

USA Today has an article on Jerry “The King” Lawler’s BBQ restaurant that recently opened in Cordova. He plans on franchising the business and has had interested from people as far away as Europe.

So, how am I holding up?

It’s been a week and a half since my mother passed away. A lot of people have been asking me this question, so I thought I would share with you all how I am doing.

I keep thinking back to a hymn played at her funeral called “It’s O’er Now.” It really is for both her, and for me. So many times I would hear her say “I’m so unsteady” or “I’m so nervous” and I know she’s now in a place where she won’t have to experience those feelings. During her last week, she was in constant pain for an inoperable hernia, and now that pain is over.

It’s over for me too. And that’s a relief. The hardest thing I will ever have to do in my life is now behind me. I didn’t realize it until last week, but every time the phone rang, I felt a twinge of fear that the person on the other end of the line would tell me my mother had died. I never have to feel that fear again. I’m also happy that my Christmas holidays will be spent in my own bed from now on, no hotel rooms, no retirement communities, no driving in bad weather. I’m sure I will miss her come Christmas but there was a good bit of stress involved every time I went to see her.

I grew up in the Episcopal Church but have not attended for many years. Since about 15 years ago, my ideas of what God and Heaven are have kind of diverged from what is taught in any mainstream religion. But the way this happened makes me wonder… Mama had to leave us, but she passed away early on a Saturday morning, giving me the entire weekend to be in the arms of my friends before I had to drive to Little Rock. Then I had an entire week to wrap up her affairs. I absolutely despise driving in bad weather, but was given a dry, sunny week to do the things I needed to do over there. She left us in January, at a time of the year where arranging her funeral would not tear me away from plans here in Memphis. And then there was the dread of carrying all of her stuff in from my car in the parking garage, having to make several trips… but when I pulled into the garage, the best parking space (of the un-reserved ones) was right there waiting on me. At 11 AM on a weekday. How often does that happen? It all makes me wonder… God knew he had to take her from me, but did he arrange to do it in a way that would cause me to suffer as little as possible? (By the way, I view God as gender-neutral, so feel free to substitute “she” when you read that last sentence if you prefer.)

Strangely enough, this experience has also given me a new appreciation for what I do for a living. I’ve said several times that I am happy Mama’s mind stayed sharp until the end, that she never suffered the mental decline that my grandmother did. My company supports and promotes a card game that is many people’s passion, that keeps the minds of the people who play it sharp into their 90s and even beyond. I am proud that I help support an activity that helps people’s minds stay strong so they are less likely to have to go through what my grandmother did.

Today is my last day off work following Mama’s death. I was going to spend most of the day adulting, closing out her accounts and such. However, I haven’t received her death certificates yet so there isn’t a whole lot I can do at this time. I’ll do the adulting I need to get done for me (paying my rent, paying the parking garage, going out there and putting the permanent license plate on the car) then it will be time to go play. After all, I am taking a vacation day today, might as well enjoy as much of it as I can! Back tomorrow with more news probably.

No post yesterday, but I’ve got a double helping of news this morning.

Miss Cordelia’s has announced that they are looking for local bands and musicians. They need people to play live music Mondays and Wednesdays from 5 to 8. Come by the store and ask for Eric, Emily, or Angelina if you’re interested.

Eric Hughes brings the blues to you this Saturday night at The Dirty Crow Inn. He will play from 9 to midnight.

CityCurrent has a good article about Bedrock Eats & Sweets market and cafe, which has started preparing foods that meet Whole30 guidelines. You can eat at the cafe at South Main and Vance, or pick up something from the grab & go to take home.

Useful: There’s now a Google Chrome extension that will filter the politics from your Facebook news feed.

Moody Ques news: My Deputy Director of Public Relations and I had a marketing meeting with Buddha and Ian Sunday night. It was very productive. By “productive” I mean “we drank all the Blind Bear’s Fireball.”

Want to score a bag of weed? Order your fries extra crispy at the Burger King in Epping, New Hampshire.

@kerry901 passed along three ways to resist and engage in Memphis this week. This first is tonight, at the Ghost River taproom, where there will be a fundraiser for Chattanooga mayor Andy Berke.

Secondly, they are asking people to attend the Shelby County Commission budget meeting Wednesday at 9:40 PM. The Commission is trying to defund Planned Parenthood’s successful free condoms initiative here in Memphis.

Thirdly, Clayborn Temple has been named the location for Memphis We Belong Here at 5 PM Wednesday. This is a protest against Trump’s recent immigration order.

Jerry Lawler’s Grill on Beale Street posted photos of their Royal Rumble watch party. I had never thought about it before, but that would be the perfect place for wrestling fans to watch pay-per-views.

Club Paradise where legends like B.B. King played 50 years ago, at 645 E. Georgia, has reopened as the Paradise Entertainment Center.

Do you eat at the Taco Bell on Union in Midtown? 39 years ago, The Sex Pistols performed at a ballroom at that location. Johnny Rotten blew his nose on stage without a handkerchief. Read about it in High Ground News Unmarked series.

Oh my! Ron Garrison, who seemed to be the first competent leader MATA has had in ages, has stepped down from his position following an arrest over the weekend for patronizing prostitution. It was part of a human trafficking sting and two juveniles were rescued. The prostitute Garrison allegedly patronized, however, was of age. His departure comes at a bad time as MATA pushes for more public funding.

Holly has a guide to Super Bowl 51 for Memphians. She has a list of places to watch the game, where to get wings, which places deliver, and more.

Lifehacker has an article on how many people need to come to your party to make it worthwhile to get a keg. If the average guest drinks four 12-ounce cups of beer, you will need about 40 people to kill the keg. Keep in mind when throwing a party Downtown that the people who live here are not “average” in terms of beer consumption so 15 people is probably a more reasonable estimate than 40.

The Memphis Flyer has photos and winners from Soup Sunday. Congratulations to several Downtown businesses who made it into the winners’ circle: eighty3 for Best Gumbo, the Peabody for Best Bread (cornbread), Tuscany Italian Eatery for VIP Best Presentation and VIP Soup (tomato bisque), and Rizzo’s for VIP Dessert (blueberry white chocolate bread pudding).

Loflin Yard will have The Big Game on The Big Screen Sunday. It will be preceded by live music from Electric Church (2-4) and football trivia by Cerrito Trivia.

Gotta love it that the Saucer is having a “Superb Owl” party on Sunday. Wonder if it’s the same owl who was attacking people in the High Point neighborhood several years ago and who has its own Twitter account.

When I took the extra time off after my mom died I decided that Tuesday would be a play day, so out I go. Back tomorrow (hopefully) with more news.

Today is Soup Sunday at FedExForum from 11 to 2, a fundraiser for Youth Villages. I’ll share a little insider information I have learned: Bardog Tavern, the only back-to-back winner of the people’s choice vote for best soup, has retired the Chicken Velvet soup that put them in the winner’s circle in 2015 and 2016. The only way chef John Haley would retire that soup is if he had something that he thought was even better. If I were you, I would seek out Bardog’s booth immediately upon arrival at FedExForum. Gates open at 11, and remember what I said previously: This is not an event where you want to pre-game at a bar and then arrive an hour after it gets started. The best soups will run out well before 2, and really, well before 1 even, and while they may not run out before noon that is when the lines will be the longest.

I’ll give ya another Bardog insider tip, this one not concerning Soup Sunday. Lately on Sunday nights, they have been running dinner specials that include a glass of wine. A few weeks ago, I was in there, and got a special including their spaghetti with Aldo’s grandmother’s meatballs, a salad, and a glass of Cabernet for $16.99. That is a very good value!

I am not certain they will have a wine special tonight, but they’ve been running them the past few weeks.

With football season (except for one game) being over, Max’s Sports Bar has reverted to its normal opening time of 4:30 in the afternoon. However, this year they are making an exception one day. Saturday will retain a permanent opening time of 11 AM. I think that’s a good call and I will probably get down there at least one Saturday morning next month to watch some college basketball.

Choose901 has an important post on how to get involved with refugees in Memphis. This is great information for those who feel that our president does not speak for them on the topic of immigration. By the way, just yesterday I heard a story of a naturalized U.S. citizen, a business owner who has lived here for 20 years, who went to see his family in Eastern Europe and was refused to be let back into the United States. A CITIZEN!!! I have a few readers who are naturalized U.S. citizens who were born in foreign countries. I would advise you to stay here until 2020 or Trump’s impeachment, whichever comes first.

If you come Downtown for Soup Sunday and want stay longer, Jeremy Stanfill takes the stage at Loflin Yard at 2.

Teen retailer Wet Seal has shuttered all its locations. One former teen shopper’s eulogy: “It made me feel like a piece of ham in a tube top.” Mmmm, that eulogy is making me anticipate BBQ Fest!

The Peabody will be offering two Valentine’s dinner options. On the 10th, 11th, and 14th, Chez Philippe will offer a sumptuous 4-course dinner for $95 per person, or $130 per person with wine pairings by the Peabody Sommelier. On the 10th through the 14th, Capriccio Grill will offer a 3-course Italian dinner featuring lobster or surf and turf for $70.

Interesting… oddsmakers are putting out odds on who will win the Royal Rumble tonight, WWE’s annual 30-person over-the-top battle royal with the winner receiving a shot at the Universal or World championship at WrestleMania. President Trump is 1000/1 to be a surprise entrant and win the Rumble.

The Illusionists – Live from Broadway, described as “Magic’s Cirque de Soleil,” come to the Orpheum February 10-12. These talented artists have sold out shows worldwide.

I’m charging up my phone and my external charger, so I can watch the Royal Rumble on the WWE Network tonight. I always seem to be a popular person to sit next to on PPV nights. Since bars are loud I turn on the captioning. I have a lot to do tomorrow, but I don’t have any set start time, so I may stay out a little late tonight. As for this morning, I will be leading off at D-RANKS with B-RAD at the Blind Bear at 11 as usual.

 

I’m back in Memphis! My troll insisted we take a car selfie before we pulled out of the hotel parking lot in Little Rock.

So, let’s say you’re a guy who has a girlfriend. It’s Valentine’s Day. You give her a Hallmark card telling her how much you love her. You have flowers sent to her home. You bring her a box of chocolates. You take her to dinner at Catherine & Mary’s or Felicia’s or Chez Philippe.

And at the end of the day, she thinks, “He went through the motions. He did everything a good boyfriend is supposed to do on Valentine’s Day.”

“He’s BORING!”

So, here’s a suggestion for a non-boring Valentine’s Day. Take your girl to a burlesque show!

Kitty Wompas’ Cathouse is bringing sexy back to Valentine’s Day at Bardog, Tuesday, February 14 at 8 PM. There will be $5 shots called “James’ cock” and “Melissa’s nipple” during the performance only. “Happy Valentine’s Day baby! I got you James’ cock!” You know ya girl would be impressed.

YOGA! The Saturday before Valentine’s Day, February 11, a special workshop called Love Restored will be held at Downtown Yoga from 4:30 to 6:30 PM. The idea is that too often we give our love away to everyone but ourselves, and this class will allow you to pamper and nurture yourself. You’ll learn how to turn your love inward with restorative poses, sound, self-massage, and guided meditation. There are said to be some sweet surprises in store for participants as well.

PXLS plays a free event tonight at the High Cotton taproom at 7. They will play the melodies of your favorite classic video games while you enjoy some craft beer. This is a family-friendly event. I wonder if they’ll play the music from Pengo? That’s my favorite. Dig Dug is good too. And Frogger of course. I’d love to go to this but my troll is so afraid of brewery taprooms.

Some badly-needed civil discourse will happen at Loflin Yard Thursday from 7 to 9, and you are invited. The topic at The Civil Pour VI will be living in Trump’s America. What does Trump’s presidency mean for those who support him and those who oppose him? America is more divided than ever, and we need events like this one where we can state what we believe in a non-confrontational manner and listen to what the other side has to say and attempt to understand their point of view.

Miss Cordelia’s, the grocery store on Mud Island, has some positions open. They are looking for a full-time prep cook, a part-time dishwasher, two cafe team members and a butcher counter clerk. Apply at the store.

See inside the Tennessee Brewery as redevelopment happens! The Memphis Business Journal has a slideshow.

The next time you order guacamole from Las Delicias and it’s a couple of dollars more expensive than you remember, you can thank President Trump for that.

The Memphis Tigers host ECU at FedExForum at 2:30.

Falling Into Place is the featured vendor at today’s Small Shop Saturday at the Ghost River taproom from noon to 4. They sell candles and Memphis T-shirts and sweatshirts.

My plan for the coming days is to have a perfectly normal weekend and to be off work through Wednesday. My intuition told me that is the right amount of time before returning to work. I got three bereavement days off and am using two floating holidays and three vacation days to cover the remaining time. Since I have been at my job long enough that I get three weeks vacation a year, my BBQ Fest week will not be affected. Monday and Wednesday will be days devoted to closing Mama’s accounts – because “Please hold, a customer service representative will be with you in… twenty. two. minutes” is really what I want to do on a vacation day. (Thank God she didn’t have Comcast.) Tuesday will be a play day. I rarely get Tuesdays off so I want to go see Teryn at the morning shift at Bardog.

The only thing related to my mother I plan on working on this weekend is figuring out what to do with her iPad. I got Mama her first iPad for Christmas 2010 because I didn’t want her to be left behind in the world of touch-screen devices and apps. I also believed it might help keep her sharp mentally and avoid the decline we saw in my grandmother in her final year. I already have an iPad so I don’t need the one I got Mama for Christmas 2014 after the first one became too old to receive current iOS updates. I would like to see it go toward the same intention that I had for Mama, to keep an elderly person sharp and to keep them in tune with current technology. Her church gave me contact information for Calvary Episcopal here in case I felt I needed emotional support from a local church. Perhaps I will call them and see if they have any suggestions what to do with the iPad.

That’s it for now. Blog updates will be somewhat irregular in the coming week, but I will try to post as much news as I can.

Before I get started about what’s been happening with me, I want to post that Abandon Ship will play their first gig ever at Blind Bear Friday night. This is a very talented duo and I have heard them practice. Come out and lend them an ear. They start at 9:30.

On Tuesday I was having a lot of trouble trying to find someone and take my mother’s stuff away so I could hand in her keys and get back to Memphis. After getting about a dozen “no, we don’t do that” responses I called Little Rock’s Union Rescue Mission. They listened to my story – that I’m an only child from our of town burying my mother – and they said “we’ll do all we can for you.”

Indeed they did. Four men and a truck met me at 9 this morning. They were so happy to be there. They saw my mother’s donations and I could tell they were excited that people in need would receive her furniture, clothes, and other items. Even items as simple as a coffee mug were appreciated. I could also tell that, besides the donations they received, they were just happy to be there serving others, having possibly been through some previous rough times. God bless those four men.

I did rescue one item from the Mission truck, my mother’s jewelry box. There’s nothing terribly valuable in there but I want to take photos to send to my cousins. If they can identify anything as my grandmother’s they can have it. I don’t need jewelry. When my mother moved out of her house in 2008, I got the chance to take anything of my grandmother’s I wanted. She had a green plastic watering can that she and I used to water the violets when I was 5. That can is more valuable to me than any jewelry will ever be. That is the only memento I need.

I also have a memento of my mother’s, a love bug she sent me for Christmas 2014.

That’s why I didn’t mind giving away the stuffed animals Mama slept with to her neighbors. I already had my memory. The love bug has been sitting on counter watching over me for two years now.

I expected getting my mother’s belongings out of her apartment to be an all-day task if not more. Thanks to the folks at the Union Mission it was over in just a little over two hours. I drove back to my Downtown Little Rock hotel and then it was time to get lunch. I went back to the River Market where I had eaten the day before.

After checking out the various ethnic foods, I had to go back for a second helping of Indian food. I got the chicken tikka again, but my troll suggested I get the spinach as my second entree because it was the same color (approximately) as her hair. I have to say, it’s been interesting having a troll the past month. That spinach was spicy and I love spicy food, so it was a good call on her part.

Heading back to Memphis after I get some sleep. I’ll be back with another post Saturday or Sunday or so then things will gradually get back to normal.

 

 

For those of you who might visit Little Rock at some point in the future, I have a quick tip about a place that I discovered yesterday: The Ottenheimer indoor market on President Clinton Avenue between Rock St. and River Market Avenue. I had been in there years ago, but it was mostly vendors selling various things. Now it is almost completely a food court.

They have almost any type of food you can imagine, and it’s not Sbarro/Chick-Fil-A mall food court kind of stuff. It’s the real deal. It’s also inexpensive. Among the varieties of food were Mexican, Middle Eastern, Indian, pizza, sandwiches, burgers, Thai, sushi and teriyaki, and cupcakes and pies. Also, I don’t know if any of my readers are vegetarians who travel to Little Rock, but in case I do have such readers, I will mention that there is a vegetarian place as well. The seating is all open in the middle, so if you come with a group or family, each person can get what they want and then all sit together.

There’s also a gift shop selling Little Rock-themed gifts and locally produced items in the market area.

I decided to order from the Indian restaurant:

Two entrees and basmati rice with naan for $8.99 is not a bad deal at all. I got the chicken curry and chicken tikka. The food was excellent!

I wonder how similar this market is to the food hall concept going in at 409 South Main in Memphis. I would love to see something like this wonderful market I visited yesterday in Memphis’ downtown area.

My mother’s service at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church yesterday morning was beautiful and simple, just the way she would have wanted it. Many of her friends from her retirement community attended, as did a former boss of hers and a cousin from the Ryburn side of the family. She will be laid to rest at Forest Hills Cemetery near my grandmother.

I wish so much that the funeral could have been my final memory of my mother, but it’s not. Today I have to go over to her apartment and meet the Union Rescue Mission at 9 so they can haul away her stuff. This is going to be so hard.

My posts are going to be on an infrequent, when-I-feel like it basis for about another week, then things should get back to normal and I will get back on an every day schedule.

Hi everyone. Here’s what has been going on with me, why I had to take a leave of absence.

For about a week my mother, Marilyn Ryburn of Little Rock, Arkansas had been hospitalized with pneumonia. She also had a hernia which the doctors deemed inoperable due to her age and the fact that she had a pacemaker. For a while the medication seemed to help her, but toward the end of last week she seemed to take a turn for the worse. Last Friday I had “the conversation” with her – if surgery for the hernia was necessary to save her life, what were her wishes if she was not in a state to consent or decline on her own. She said she left the matter in my hands. She also told me that if she were in a situation where life support was keeping her alive with no chance for a recovery, she wanted me to ask them to pull the plug.

Saturday morning I woke up to a missed call from 12:33 AM. I keep my iPhone’s ringer turned off at work so as not to disturb my co-workers, and I guess I forgot to turn it back on. The call was from the hospital. The nurse said, “Paul, please call us about your mother,” and left a number. It’s never good when they don’t tell you why they need to talk to you in the voice mail.

I finally got a hold of Mama’s doctor. She had a cardiac arrest and collapsed early Saturday morning. She was in no pain but the only thing keeping her alive was the machines. “She’s not brain dead but she’s completely unresponsive. She’s not coming back,” said the doctor. After consulting with her older brother, my uncle Forrest Green of Prarie View, Texas, I gave them permission to turn off life support.

“Do you want us to keep her on life support until you can drive over from Memphis and see her one last time?” the doctor asked me.

“Would she know I was there?” I replied.

“No,” the doctor said.

“Then don’t wait on me,” I told them. My last memory of my grandfather was of him lying in a hospital bed, near death. I didn’t want that to be my last memory of Mama. I had visited her on Christmas and she sat there in her chair, eating the pecans I had bought for her at the Peanut Shop down the street from where I live. That’s how I wanted to remember her.

“Then we will focus on her comfort and start removing her from our systems. She will be in no pain during her final minutes or hours. Would she want a prayer said over her before we disconnect life support?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, she would like that very much,” I said.

“Okay, then we will have the chaplain come up and say a prayer, then we will start the process,” the doctor told me. “Do you want us to call you right before we disconnect her, or afterward?”

“Afterward,” I told the doctor. “I don’t think I could bear it if you called me before.”

I needed my friends. My friends are very much my family and I don’t know how I would have got through this without their support. I was with my friends Clay and John D, and with Panda, Bloom, Jai and my Bardog family, when I got the call that I have been dreading my entire life.

“Paul, she passed peacefully a few minutes ago,” a nurse told me. “Time of death was 11:08 AM.” She asked what funeral home my mother was using, and arranged for her body to be sent there. Later that day the funeral home called me, confirmed that they had the body, and set a 2 PM appointment for Monday, January 23 to make the arrangements.

I decided not to drive over to Little Rock until Monday morning. That was partly because I couldn’t do much with Mama’s affairs over the weekend, and didn’t want to waste money on unnecessary hotel nights. However, the main reason was that I needed to be around my friends. With Mama gone, my friends are my everything. They are the reason I am going to make it through this.

Monday I went to the funeral home and made the arrangements. Thank goodness Mama pre-arranged everything, and they coordinated with her life insurance for the cost to come out of there. I didn’t even have to write a check. For those of you with children, you will be doing them a huge favor by pre-arranging your funeral.

Then I drove over to St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, the church where Mama was a member and for several years a front desk volunteer. “Have you decided where to have the service yet?” they asked. “We’d be honored to have it for her here.” So I met with Father Danny at St. Mark’s and he asked me a little about her so he could pick Scripture readings for the funeral.

It occurred to me that I now have no beneficiary for my life insurance and 401(k) at work. Over the weekend I identified a charity that I would like to name as my beneficiary. For reasons I won’t go into, I don’t want to discuss it on here but feel free to ask me about it. I emailed them and got their tax ID and other relevant information so I can file the paperwork when I return to work late next week.

Tuesday was the hardest day. I had to find someone to donate all her belongings to, someone who would come and clean out her apartment. After being told “Sorry, we don’t do that” about a dozen times, Union Rescue Mission agreed. They will be out Thursday morning. I was doing OK until I walked into Mama’s bedroom and saw the stuffed animals she slept with. Then I just completely lost it.

Her neighbor had a spare key and I gave the neighbor and others in the building who cared about Mama permission to enter her apartment and take the memories they wanted. I requested specifically that someone take the stuffed animals, and her neighbor did.

I made sure to take care of myself and not do too much on any one day. As you can see from the previous post, I treated myself to a visit to a couple of craft breweries and dinner at one of Little Rock’s most famous restaurants.

About to get dressed and go to Mama’s funeral. I expect to be back in Memphis Friday and probably off work through next Wednesday to grieve and take care of Mama’s affairs.

That’s what’s going on. Forgive me if I am slow to respond to your messages for the next few days.